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to expect my friends to support my son?

(33 Posts)
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kittylester Thu 12-Jan-12 17:22:22

Some of you will know that our eldest son had a major stroke about 5 years ago and that he has written and published a book about his experience.

I have 2 particular friends I have known since our children first started school together about 30 years ago. We have all 'been there' for each other through all the traumas of life, large or small. These have included issues at school, children going to university, their unsuitable girlfriends/ boyfriends, unsuitable marriages, infertility, parental illnesses and deaths, other major illness to both children and husbands etc etc and also the joys - graduations, weddings, grandchildren etc.

Yet, neither of them has bought my son's book. We met for lunch today and when I mentioned it, one totally ignored the issue and the other said she thought it might upset her so hadn't bought it.

They were both really supportive when he was first ill and are still concerned about his progress. I don't think I have overloaded the shoulder crying with them because we have a really large extended family and other good friends who have also been there for us.

I am really hurt for my son, but should I be? sad

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kittylester Sat 14-Jan-12 10:02:59

So sorry to hear about your friend's son Oldgreymare How is he physically now?` Many young people make very good recoveries but, unfortunately, our son will never regain full function on his left side and he gets terribly tired. Another reason why we are proud of his achieving an MA and writing a book! Has your friend's son been referred to Different Strokes? It is an organisation especially for younger stroke patients. We found it invaluable. Our son was referred to Headway as an organisation whose demographic is similar to young stroke survivors and the key worker our son has through them is brilliant. There was no DS in our area. If your friend needs any help, or just to offload, please PM me and I will let you have my email address for her.

grannyactivist thank you for your kind words about the book. thanks

Carol thank you too. thanks The book is published in such a way that it is only printed when someone orders it so we don't have stockpiles thankfully smile

Charlotta another reason we would not buy the book and give it away is that our son feels demoralised enough to be having to live with us, at the ripe old age of 40, and to be reliant on us for everything, without our making him feel worse by buying all his books!

Thank you to everyone who has offered kind words - I do feel better now thanks

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Oldgreymare Sat 14-Jan-12 23:10:17

Kittylester Many thanks, I have PMd you.
Having read extracts from the book on Amazon (which also awards it maximum stars) I think it sounds an excellent read. Well done to your son, I look forward to reading his book.

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maxgran Mon 16-Jan-12 09:04:26

Could it be possible that as they have supported you through life's ups and downs over the years - they may have thought they would be given a copy of his book ?
Just a thought.

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GeraldineGransnet (GNHQ) Mon 16-Jan-12 15:29:10

kittylester, I've bought the book, after getting the details on another thread. I have always felt (having written books) that people you know should buy them. But sometimes it seems to be too difficult. Someone once told me that a memoir I'd written about building a house was actually a love letter to my daughter and they sincerely hoped she'd read it, but I don't think she ever has.
It's OK. weeps into afternoon tea

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jingl Mon 16-Jan-12 16:48:28

Geraldine sad sniff

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jingl Mon 16-Jan-12 16:51:27

Oh look! I've found Geraldine's book!

www.penguin.co.uk/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9780141901282,00.html

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kittylester Mon 16-Jan-12 17:23:27

Geraldine thank you! smile

I hope your daughter reads your book in the fullness of time and truly appreciates it thanks

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