To ask people to read posts before replying to them

Arn't the last few posts an indication of how easy it is to misjudge a remark? What starts out as a straight forward comment can so easily taken as a slight by someone else. I remember my mother saying about a rather touchy neighbour - "It's her perception of remarks, not the remarks that cause the problem"

Anagram

Sorry, kittylester - misunderstandings all round...looks like jingl was right.

Anagram I most definitely was not referring to anything you had posted.

I agree that you are not one of our more 'robust' posters. Nor am I. I tend to avoid conflict but was so irate with someone that I joined in. Most unlike me, and I apologised for any offence my post caused, but I was not responsible for lowering the tone of the thread in question just guilty of having a dig back at something I found offensive. As I said, most unlike me and, as you said, not a mistake I will make again.

Sorry to be obscure was referring to an earlier post.

Nanad I don't think she was. She was talking about the Chairman of the IT org.

Peace and harmony would be nice I agree. alison thank you but please do not bracket me in with those just like to stir things up. I don't like to see people being bullied on one hand and patronised on the other. So if peace and harmony mean stepping back and letting these factions take over then it defeats it's own purpose. I trust I haven't said anything but put my point in a considered manner.

Elegran some people just don't appreciate help when it is given with good intention. If I said it was he male pride would I be accused of sexism? Sorry to all the blokes on here.

No, j psychobabble is jargon and long incomprehensible terminology about improbable mental conditions.

My observation was in plain words and was the result of 16 months of reading GN posts and 73 years of people watching.

I remember emailing someone whose email account had been compromised, so that I was getting spam from it. I suggested mildly that he make sure that his virus protection was not only present but kept up to date. He told me I was talking technobabble. He was the chairman of an organisation which used IT to keep in touch with members.

KittylesterI agree totally with what you say. When I first 'found' Gransnet earlier this year I thought how different it was from Mumsnet, in that the postings were helpful, thoughtful and non-judgemental. I had a lot of help from Gransnetters when I posted about my personal difficulties, and I was, and am, very grateful for that.

I don't post very often, usually because others have made my point much more eloquently. I also don't like confrontation, and although this is an anonymous forum I still find it difficult to post on some topics. I have no issue with somebody disagreeing with my opinion, or pointing out that something I have said may be offensive (either here on in real life). Depending on whether I agree or not, I will either stand my ground or apologise.

The last few weeks on GN have really made me back off, even when I have been tempted to post. Every post seems to revert to the same old thing, it reminds me of the playground in my teenage years, and also why I don't have a large circle of friends in real life. I would rather have my own company than have to deal with the backstabbing and b**chiness that can sometimes occur when a large group of people get together - either 'virtually' or 'actually'.

The forum would be a poorer place if all the 'quiet' ones left.

Anyway, that's my twopennyworth, and as it's too early for I'm off for a and maybe a browse around the Arts and Craft thread.

Elegran - psychobabble!

See! Everyone is thinking it's one of their posts in the wrong.

We are all doomed to be paranoid!

I think it's probably my post on the Annecy thread that you found unacceptable, kittylester. I am not one the more 'robust' members but felt strongly in this instance that there were more appropriate threads on which to discuss dinner menus. I'm sorry if you thought it was not my place to make such a suggestion - I certainly won't be making that mistake again!

I have noticed that those who are struggling against real and intractable problems in their lives do not waste their energy in futile backbiting about trivialities.

Or if those who like to savage other posts in the forums are reacting to the pressures of such problems, they do not tell us about them.

When, I belong to GN as a totally different part of my life, as a relief from every day troubles (though mine are not huge). I used to feel confident that, if anyone posted, others would respond in a considered and thoughtful way. Now there is a lot of backbiting, s**t-stirring, jockeying for supremacy and patronising attitudes.

It is a worry that anyone with a genuine problem would be uncomfortable posting on here for fear of the resulting bad feeling. GN members have so much to offer to people with troubles.

Elegran, I am a peace-lover but there isn't much of it about!

Nanadogsbody and JO4 I agree with you both. The way these comments are expressed can be very hurtful and IMO imply a feeling of superiority.

Silly season - yes, Elegan perhaps you have a point there. Is that because we are all lucky enough not to have more important things to worry us? Just asking.

Peace and love, When, peace and love.

Hunt You can choose to display a thread with the last page first, so that you see the latest point the discussion has reached. That does not help if it has veered off course, but with the OP at the top you do at least know what it was about at the start.

Is it the silly season, or am I really seeing more infighting than there used to be? Some of it is pretty trivial. (Don't anyone take the huff, I am not laying into anyone in particular, just observing the atmosphere!)

Today, I would love to see harmony and tolerance on Gransnet. Peace, folks!

"Perhaps because they don't feel able to make a rational contribution? "

Another nasty dig.

There are better ways of getting your point across greatnan than making comments like "I just wonder at the mindset of someone who deliberately trivialises a serious debate". While I actually agree with the genuine concern behind your remark I find your way of expressing it distasteful. It is this kind of post that is causing offence not just to the people you are referring to but other GNetters.

Oh dear, a row! I thought we needed to go to Mumsnet for that. The trouble with emailing is we don't get the humour or expressions that it's been written with - so we know what we mean but the recipient takes it completely the wrong way. Heyho, life's much too short and difficult to get so het up - and I'm sure I must be one of the offenders so if I've upset anyone, heartfelt apologies.

Exactly, bags. I find it quite intimidating to be told by more 'robust' posters what I should or should not post. We are all entitled to post as and when we like and to stay on topic or mot. Surely we already have HQ for that.

You are quite right, Bags, (you usually are) - I just wonder at the mindset of someone who deliberately trivialises a serious debate. Perhaps because they don't feel able to make a rational contribution? I have found the best thing to do is to revert back to the op and ignore the side-tracking, but it is difficult when one is subject to constant sniping on every post one makes.