To ask people to read posts before replying to them

Very soon at this rate I'm going to have something else to apologise for.

Big time.

And stop being so holier than thou!

Goodnight.

My personal opinion is that it is simply good manners to read a thread thoroughly if you are going to add your own comment to it.
It is also extremely frustrating if, as the OP, people 'reply' by asking you something you have already addressed (and especially so if it is something in your OP )
This isn't just an issue with GN by the way. As a veteran of a couple of expat forums, I know it is true across forums.
I tend not to post on many topics, and that is generally because on the whole they do get side-tracked, and usually by a handful of 'regulars' (again, true of all forums, so not making this 'personal' to GN). As soon as I spot the old familiar pattern emerging, I stop reading, as I know the thread will be unravelling and rambling down the 'chatty' route, or all too frequently the 'in-jokes' of a small group who have got to know each other very well and treat most threads as their own personal chat room route.
Chat rooms are a different animal, and I do find it frustrating when forums are treated in that way. My view is that, if someone has started a new post on a particular subject, it is simple courtesy to stay on topic - and to read it properly!
I will just add again that my observations apply to all forums I have followed, so nothing 'personal' to GN

Gracesmum definitely has a point. I have several times made a comment only to find that I have done so at the end of page 1 without noticing that there are 5 pages. It then turns out that my comment bears no relation to the end of page 5 where it duly appears. Sorry.

If all forums behave like that, wouldn't it be sensible just to accept that that's what happens, rather than getting in a stew about it? One can always go back to the OP. I've noticed that happens sometimes. And then, one can always start again with a new thread if there are still things one wants to talk about but the thread has got sidetracked.

Just chucking out ideas, since it seems to me to be less bothersome to accept "what happens" and cope with it than otherwise.

You are quite right, Bags, (you usually are) - I just wonder at the mindset of someone who deliberately trivialises a serious debate. Perhaps because they don't feel able to make a rational contribution? I have found the best thing to do is to revert back to the op and ignore the side-tracking, but it is difficult when one is subject to constant sniping on every post one makes.

Exactly, bags. I find it quite intimidating to be told by more 'robust' posters what I should or should not post. We are all entitled to post as and when we like and to stay on topic or mot. Surely we already have HQ for that.

Oh dear, a row! I thought we needed to go to Mumsnet for that. The trouble with emailing is we don't get the humour or expressions that it's been written with - so we know what we mean but the recipient takes it completely the wrong way. Heyho, life's much too short and difficult to get so het up - and I'm sure I must be one of the offenders so if I've upset anyone, heartfelt apologies.

There are better ways of getting your point across greatnan than making comments like "I just wonder at the mindset of someone who deliberately trivialises a serious debate". While I actually agree with the genuine concern behind your remark I find your way of expressing it distasteful. It is this kind of post that is causing offence not just to the people you are referring to but other GNetters.

"Perhaps because they don't feel able to make a rational contribution? "

Another nasty dig.

Today, I would love to see harmony and tolerance on Gransnet. Peace, folks!

Hunt You can choose to display a thread with the last page first, so that you see the latest point the discussion has reached. That does not help if it has veered off course, but with the OP at the top you do at least know what it was about at the start.

Is it the silly season, or am I really seeing more infighting than there used to be? Some of it is pretty trivial. (Don't anyone take the huff, I am not laying into anyone in particular, just observing the atmosphere!)

Peace and love, When, peace and love.

Silly season - yes, Elegan perhaps you have a point there. Is that because we are all lucky enough not to have more important things to worry us? Just asking.

Nanadogsbody and JO4 I agree with you both. The way these comments are expressed can be very hurtful and IMO imply a feeling of superiority.

When, I belong to GN as a totally different part of my life, as a relief from every day troubles (though mine are not huge). I used to feel confident that, if anyone posted, others would respond in a considered and thoughtful way. Now there is a lot of backbiting, s**t-stirring, jockeying for supremacy and patronising attitudes.

It is a worry that anyone with a genuine problem would be uncomfortable posting on here for fear of the resulting bad feeling. GN members have so much to offer to people with troubles.

Elegran, I am a peace-lover but there isn't much of it about!

I have noticed that those who are struggling against real and intractable problems in their lives do not waste their energy in futile backbiting about trivialities.

Or if those who like to savage other posts in the forums are reacting to the pressures of such problems, they do not tell us about them.

I think it's probably my post on the Annecy thread that you found unacceptable, kittylester. I am not one the more 'robust' members but felt strongly in this instance that there were more appropriate threads on which to discuss dinner menus. I'm sorry if you thought it was not my place to make such a suggestion - I certainly won't be making that mistake again!

See! Everyone is thinking it's one of their posts in the wrong.

We are all doomed to be paranoid!

Elegran - psychobabble!

KittylesterI agree totally with what you say. When I first 'found' Gransnet earlier this year I thought how different it was from Mumsnet, in that the postings were helpful, thoughtful and non-judgemental. I had a lot of help from Gransnetters when I posted about my personal difficulties, and I was, and am, very grateful for that.

I don't post very often, usually because others have made my point much more eloquently. I also don't like confrontation, and although this is an anonymous forum I still find it difficult to post on some topics. I have no issue with somebody disagreeing with my opinion, or pointing out that something I have said may be offensive (either here on in real life). Depending on whether I agree or not, I will either stand my ground or apologise.

The last few weeks on GN have really made me back off, even when I have been tempted to post. Every post seems to revert to the same old thing, it reminds me of the playground in my teenage years, and also why I don't have a large circle of friends in real life. I would rather have my own company than have to deal with the backstabbing and b**chiness that can sometimes occur when a large group of people get together - either 'virtually' or 'actually'.

The forum would be a poorer place if all the 'quiet' ones left.

Anyway, that's my twopennyworth, and as it's too early for I'm off for a and maybe a browse around the Arts and Craft thread.

No, j psychobabble is jargon and long incomprehensible terminology about improbable mental conditions.

My observation was in plain words and was the result of 16 months of reading GN posts and 73 years of people watching.

I remember emailing someone whose email account had been compromised, so that I was getting spam from it. I suggested mildly that he make sure that his virus protection was not only present but kept up to date. He told me I was talking technobabble. He was the chairman of an organisation which used IT to keep in touch with members.

Elegran some people just don't appreciate help when it is given with good intention. If I said it was he male pride would I be accused of sexism? Sorry to all the blokes on here.

Peace and harmony would be nice I agree. alison thank you but please do not bracket me in with those just like to stir things up. I don't like to see people being bullied on one hand and patronised on the other. So if peace and harmony mean stepping back and letting these factions take over then it defeats it's own purpose. I trust I haven't said anything but put my point in a considered manner.