Here I am, retired. What happens next?
Yes I have volunteered since retiring, and I felt valued. But my knee is playing up, I'm waiting for an operation and I've had to un-volunteer! Shame, I used to value being dependable.
Similarly, I was energetic, known for it. Now I'm not.
I've formed a very happy relationship (entirely non-platonic I'm glad to say) with a great partner. We don't live together. We have a life together and lives apart. It's great.
We go to the cinema a lot, sometimes the theatre, often to live music and to exhibitions. That's fine, but are we just going to be passive consumers of culture for the next 30 years(-ish)? I used to be an active creator of culture professionally. And no I don't want to go on doing that in a lesser way. And Yes I have done a lot of teaching in the past and passing-on of my skills.
I don't have grandchildren, my SO does. That's OK, but it's not a life. For either of us.
Hobbies, I have lots of them. Gardening suddenly seems self-absorbed, selfish and very short-term, bit like running up a hill of sand, you're always sliding backwards, trying to tame the weeds etc etc. Gym, cycling, swimming, hill-walking, love them, all out with a dodgy knee. Yes I could do sit-ups. My main hobby now seems to be decluttering my house, sorting papers etc. That'll end.
I have friends, separate from my SO's friends. I see them often. It's OK.
The CofE Alpha Courses used to have Is This All There Is as their slogan, I think. I have a faith, a Christian faith and I go to Church. That's good.
I've been in psychotherapy often in my life and I am again now. But the therapist is not there to give me answers. Perhaps to help me find answers. Eventually.
Obviously I've chosen a fairly negative username but I'm not depressed, I'm more quizzical / puzzled, ie Is This All There Is? I have been seriously depressed in the past and it didn't feel like this
Advice? Please. Someone else must have felt like this. Or be feeling like this.