Is this all there is?

Perhaps it means both?

isthis I have just spotted that joke.

Yes; it was a good one, wasn't it .

My sil's best friend since boarding school has just been diagnosed with MS - he's 32

The joke was good

Hmm Hunt, not a bad idea at all!

annodomini what a wonderfully expressed line:
"Old age should burn and rave at close of day"

I don't feel old but I do want to burn and rave! I'm always haunted by Dylan Thomas's self-destruction through alcohol.

Alcohol (and I've seen a lot of it in my working life in telly and theatre) makes so much ineffective. Would Thomas have been able to write without alcohol? Or would he have acheived much, much more?

All that's not for this thread. Perhaps I may start another one!

This thread for me is about ennui. Is ennui different from boredom? For me Yes, even if some online dictionaries give it as a synonym. Doesn't mean they're right!

Can't exactly explain the difference between ennui and boredom. Moral Judgement: I do know Boredom is Bad, we are morally to blame if we're bored. Parents told us that, I'm sure we all told our offspring!

But ennui, that's what French novelists and Russian playwrights explored. Innit?

I've always sensed a trace of wistfulness in the word 'ennui'.

Is this all there is? - probably.

isthisallthereis
I have a friend whose age and career is not unlike yours.
She stumbled, done in, through the door of a Western Buddhist Centre.

Five years later on the top (almost) of a Spanish mountain, where she had been for three months , she became an ordained Buddhist.
She is happy, bringing her career skills to improve the lives of others.

I love the freedom to do, and say, your own thing that comes with retirement. Working in the voluntary sector my contracts always stated that I was not allowed to make any public statements or e.g. send 'letters to the editor' either in my work capacity or as a private individual, unless they had been specifically approved by the Board of Management. This was to protect the organisation from a back lash from funders or other influential groups. Now I am free to speak my mind and, campaign for my causes without fear of losing my job and being unable to support my family, or arrested during a protest when I had responsibilities towards our 'wrinklies', children and my work.

Do you remember the elderly people in the Baltic States who stood, unarmed and unprotected, in front of the Russian tanks, as having no responsibilities they were more expendable than the young people who were their country's future. In old age we can afford to throw caution to the winds and 'boldly go' after all we are not at risk of 'dieing young'

Please please please, reading back through posts, I absolutely did not intend to insult anyone, charity shop workers et al, I'm sorry if I appeared to.

I'm sure no one thought that! No edit facility on gransnet. We all have 'blunderwoman strikes again' days; some [like moi] more than others. And, to take my foot outofit I'd better say 'blunderperson' I suppose ....[keeps digging hole]

Going back to the OP, I've recently come across the ancient Latin word Otium. It seems relevant to this thread:

Wikipedia:
OTIUM: a Latin abstract term, has a variety of meanings, including leisure time in which a person can enjoy playing, resting, eating, contemplation and academic endeavors. It sometimes, but not always, relates to a time in a person's retirement after previous service to the public or private sector, opposing "active public life". Otium can be a temporary time of leisure, that is sporadic. It can have intellectual, virtuous, or immoral implications. It originally had the idea of withdrawing from one's daily business (negotium) or affairs to engage in activities that were considered to be artistically valuable or enlightening (i.e. speaking, writing, philosophy).

Those ancient Romans knew something I reckon! PS I wonder what the "immoral" implications were?? I think I'm missing out there!

Ooh I think I resemble this definition isthis. After a career in the public sector, I was warned I would be bored, get depressed, want to come back etc etc. Instead, I find that I revel in opportunities to do nothing, and identify myself in relation to family and friends, rather than the role title I was proud of at work. All of the leisure time activities you list suit me down to the ground. I don't hear myself saying 'I should do such and such anywhere near as often as I used to.' I feel quite carefree, and whilst being realistic about this being temporary or sporadic, I am content for this to be all there is

Well said whenim64. More and more I try to live in the present moment. It came to me today also that I read somewhere that 'if one has a why to live for one can cope with almost any how!'

Exactly whenim64. I too mainly worked in the public sector and subsequently in arts outreach. I beleive I was ewll-thought-of in bot those roles and am proud of my achievements, but in no way do I feel that there is no point in what I do now. I feel for the most part content - there are aspects of life now (mainky health-related) that I am not happy with - but the freedom to write, think, create, be a part of a community, enjoy friends and family is fine by me.

Each to his own, I say. I love being retired.My OH hated it and has returned to a very demanding job, 5 days a week in London. I wouldn't manage a day! I think some people embrace leisure and some people need to work.

I think you are grieving for the loss of your once fit healthy body - I'm an ex-aerobics teacher and having recovered from cervical cancer (2009) I’ve had to have two hip replacements (same hip long story) and due to osteoarthritis a left knee replacement. I used to jazz dance and was pretty good many years ago. I have got back into a beginner’s jazz dance class but get frustrated that I can’t do the moves the way I want to. It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with not being able to do the stuff I used to do. However, I’ve found alternatives and I use a walking pole whenever I go walking and I won’t be too proud to use a walking stick if it keeps me mobile in the future. I would check out your local aqua aerobics class as that will not upset the knee as it’s none weight bearing and can be great fun. good luck and I hope this makes you look at things a little differently.

Hello Everyone, I just joined today and already having read quite a few of the letters that my experiences and feelings are not exclsively mine. THANK GOODNESS. Having said that I feel for anyone who suufers deeply upsetting times for any reason, such awaste of time and emotional energy that could be put to better use. "is this all there is" has rung a loud bell today as has the numerous letters about being rejected by children. My daughter has always had a difficult reationship with me. I put it this way as thats how it is. I have agonised over the years wondering about my mothering skills and have spent many hours talking to my husband(not her father) about it. Also asked friiends who have known me a long time for thier honesty about the situation. Dont want to bore everyone to the point of not reading this so wont go on ad infinitum, but just to give you an example was last year she told me to "p..s off back to (here we had moved from in august last year to be near to our two grandchildren). This was after a very bad falling out with her in laws who she and partner and GC had been living with for a year. Yesterday she said that I make her feel like shes let me down as a daughter when I cleaned one of the GDs boots as they were dirty. Too numerous other events/comments to wrote. At the moment things arent too bad but thats because the relationship is being steered by my daughter and if thats the only way then so be it. It never the less hurts like heck some days and as she is an only child makes me wonder where I went wrong. I didnt spoil her but did work full time out of necesity and remarried when she was eleven. Sorry to go on but feeling a bit like a squire peg in a round whole because of the move and also having a lot of "is this all ther is" moments!!!!

Hello janey - very frustrating for you - my advice would be to build your own life and go with the flow with the DD on the grounds that you do not want to be alienated from the GC. Sometimes we have to be pragmatic and accept what is less than ideal. Let her dictate her terms, but have your own life too. There is an element of this in most adult child/parent relationships when there are GC involved. C'est la vie.

I have the thought "is this all there is?" very much in my mind at present as I am laid up and on crutches. It is weeks since I was able to leave the house (OH has PD and cannot manage wheelchair and we live in a very hilly place; and family have been ill/pregnant so unable to help). Yesterday I just got really fed up with it - sitting in the same room in the same chair with my OH's progammes blasting out on the TV so I can't concentrate on anything else. Don't want to waste oil heating an other room where I could escape to.

I cannot wait to get rid of the plaster/crutches and be able to drive and get out and about again - and I certainly will not be thinking "is this all there is?" but rejoicing in the freedom to what I wish.

isthis i feel the same .i have gc all aged from 12 up to 26 so they dont need me as much as they did .am trying to find groups to join .but dont realy no what i want im 64 and was married 44 yrs xx

Hi everyone, new to this but had been an avid reader for some time . Retired early five years ago at 57 and felt very much like "is this all there is "? Was fine for about six weeks, bit like an extended holiday, but then wondered why l wasn't at work.
lt has taken me a long time to get used to it, did a bit of volunteering, joined a fitness group (didn't last long ) and then decided on an openings course with the OU. Took a bit to get used to the way they teach these days but enjoyed it and got a pass.
It seemed to give me a boost that l was still capable to learn something completely different (it was in Psychology ) and while l don't want to continue l am more content with things.

As you will probably know from other posts, I had been a carer for my husband for 15 years, until he died last January.
When people ask me what I am doing I say nothing.
I think I need time to do nothing and relax, read books, use the computer a bit, go for the odd walk when the weather's okay.
I do a lot of family history, but somehow that does not seem to count as doing something for some people. I also campaign about the NHS but again that does not count.
Maybe I should study genealogy on the OU. Then it would sound more important. Maybe I will eventually, but at the moment doing nothing is okay for me.

Somebody who worked for me said that she and her husband were walking through town with their two young children and said "Is this all there is?"
Then they met a Jehovah's Witness.
Be careful what you wish for.

Why do you call what you do 'nothing', jendurham? That is just doing yourself down and feeding negativity. Doing what you choose to do, what you can cope with at present, recovering (if that's what it is) from what you had to do in the past, is not nothing. Hope you feel better soon .

I people ask you what you are doing (I think that was when you say that you are "doing nothing") then say that you are convalescing. That is nothing more than the truth. If you had had a serious illness, you would need time to recover. A bereavement is no different.