Gransnet forums


Just heard from DD......

(98 Posts)
j08 Sun 24-Mar-13 17:38:48

that they will not be bringing the grandsons here on Easter Sunday as they are going to a hard boiled egg competition in the local park.

They have come here, and had a lovely Easter Day, (egg hunt in the garden, outing in the afternoon) since the older one was born. And now they are not coming because of a local authority painted egg thing in a poxy Outer London park!

It's not as though they never do anything locally. Only this weekend they have gone to drama/football Saturday morning, then straight on to a cub sleepover, and now older one going swimming with youth club.

She proposed coming here on Easter Monday, but it's not the same. They don't need to do everything that's going. I think she is in danger of making them selfish.

I have said, no Easter Sunday visit, no Easter eggs.


cary Mon 25-Mar-13 22:22:54

Hi j08 Sounds like you are understandaly upset but try and remember what it was like when you were that age, I think it was nice of your daughter to offer to come over on the Monday. When children grow they become more independant and busy!! but its not to say that they don't love you.

I hope all goes well for you smile

j08 Mon 25-Mar-13 22:33:29

Trendygran you are not being unreasonable. (sigh!)

gracesmum Mon 25-Mar-13 22:34:41

Trendy I feel for you. Why should we have to be super tactful and take out place at the end of the queue, pathetically grateful that our offspring can find any time for us at all? There are many times when I suspect that a phone call is the prelude to a request for babysitting - I don't want to be cynical, but when there is no need, it can be a long time between calls (and before anybody says I should ring them, I know that the phone is ignored if they are not in the mood to answer it.) I too got a snide remark about scoring low on availability when I couldn't do a babysit next month because I have to take DH to his follow up appointment after his mini strokes last month. I did get an apology immediately afterwards so she clearly felt bad, but the damage was done.
Like you I do not want to fall out so I bite my tongue, but maybe we should risk being a bit more outspoken?

gracesmum Mon 25-Mar-13 22:35:12

"Take our place" was what I meant.

j08 Mon 25-Mar-13 22:36:16

Thank you Cary. (smile)

NfkDumpling Mon 25-Mar-13 22:42:35

As they had a large garden my parents started a tradition of Easter egg hunts when my DC were little. It was sad when they grew to an age when they no longer wanted to do it. Us adults all missed it. Now, this year, my DDs are brining back the custom now the DGDs are old enough. Now I feel really sad that my mum is bed bound in her care home and won't be there. I don't think I'll tell her.

Ana Mon 25-Mar-13 22:43:19

gracesmum, I do so agree with you about a phone call being the prelude to a request for a favour - usually babysitting! You want to believe they've just phoned for a chat, or to see how you're doing....but so often with my DD there's a not-so-well hidden agenda. Sigh...

gracesmum Mon 25-Mar-13 22:45:44

Again, I am glad I am not alone in this! I hate to criticise my own children, but I can see it coming time after time. It's like when they were students and needed a hand-out!

POGS Mon 25-Mar-13 22:55:19

Oh dear I find myself nodding, yep, sounds about right, just like mine.

Then I thought, oh blimey, I did that to my poor old mum and dad too. grin

gracesmum Mon 25-Mar-13 22:56:43

What goes around comes around?

Ana Mon 25-Mar-13 22:57:49

I didn't! (Only because it wasn't possible smile)

Deedaa Tue 26-Mar-13 20:33:39

Have to admit I have no idea if I will see any one over Easter. Must get round to floating the idea of Sunday lunch to my daughter or it will be just a quick egg handover. I know my son & his girlfriend can't come as he'll be working but I expect he'll be around some time. I will have to go and see dear Mother in Law so she can tell me she hopes I haven't wasted any money on chocolates for her and then get really mad if I haven't grin

Galen Tue 26-Mar-13 21:25:31

Dd says she doesn't know if she's coming this weekend. I'm definitly not going there as they will be panic packing and I'll be in the way. I'm keeping a low profile!

Deedaa Wed 27-Mar-13 22:40:46

Floated Sunday lunch today & my daughter said she'd presumed I'd ask at some point. She also remarked that she hadn't actually asked if I was going to look after the new baby when she goes back to work. I said that I'd taken it for granted that I would, although I haven't mentioned it to her father yet. I suppose some people organise this stuff - but where's the fun in that?

j08 Wed 27-Mar-13 22:49:09

DD has today informed me that when they come to visit on Easter Monday they will be leaving the kids here for a few days.

I'm fine with that. hmm grin

JessM Thu 28-Mar-13 15:50:15

Lucky you! Enjoy.

j08 Thu 28-Mar-13 16:01:21

Thanks Jess. smile

grannyactivist Thu 28-Mar-13 16:08:08

jingl do NOT hide put the Easter eggs in a safe place, 'lose' them and then 'find' and eat them later in the year. We shall be watching!

soop Thu 28-Mar-13 16:09:23

Jings I would be bowled over with joy if I could spare an hour with the Wee Man over Easter. You are soooooooooooooooooo lucky. Enjoy! smile

Butty Thu 28-Mar-13 16:17:12


j08 Thu 28-Mar-13 16:27:27

grannya grin Good memory you've got!

j08 Thu 28-Mar-13 16:28:10

Thanks soop and butty. smile