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Roadside memorial bouquets

(190 Posts)
NfkDumpling Thu 11-Apr-13 19:56:45

Nasty bend on the coast road and must have been another fatality as a lovely old oak tree is festooned with coloured cellophane. There's probably flowers hidden somewhere in there, but all that's visible is the wrapping.

If people go to the trouble of buying flowers to mourn the loss of a loved one - why can't they take the b****y wrapping off? Is it so no one knows they've been cheapskates and only got a petrol station bunch? And in a few weeks time when the contents have long disintegrated, the b****y cellophane is still hanging there.

It makes me really, really annoyed. Is it me?

Stansgran Fri 03-May-13 17:48:07

I call them Cellotaphs and I do feel they started after Diana died . Near us there is one which is where a pet dog died which seems a bit much.i feel flowers should be for the survivors as in Positive Pam . Often wondered if a flying squad of flower arrangers could be mustered when there were large numbers of flowers so that they could be made into flower carpets like they have at well dressings and flower festivals.

Freda13 Fri 03-May-13 17:19:20

I agree with Movedalot. I would not like my relatives or friends to place flowers or remember me at the place where I met a traumatic end. I can't understand it really, people returning to the place you were for a few fleeting minutes before you died. It's much nicer to remember deceased friends and family in happier times. I don't even want my family to have to visit a cemetary to remember me. Just have some flowers in the house and think of me now and then.

seasider Sun 14-Apr-13 01:56:54

Positive . I agree with you that if laying flowers brings some comfort to the bereaved why should we knock it. There is a spot near us where a 6 year old boy died of an asthma attack at the side of the road. The spot is marked by a little windmill that is replaced every so often. It must be a few years ago now but very time I drive past I remember the poor little boy and how serious asthma can be. GS is a sufferer but thankfully it is only mild .

POGS Sat 13-Apr-13 22:42:39

Positive

Very nice post. Thank you. flowers

positivepam Sat 13-Apr-13 22:39:38

Can I just say thank you to you all and nobody has offended me in anyway. I believe everyone is entitled to their own views and I suppose I was just trying to put another side to it. I have to agree about the cellophane though, I don't understand why people do not remove it, flowers look so much nicer without. I do however think that flowers should just possibly be placed at the time of the incident, but not then every year afterwards, but again that is just my view. I agree also sending flowers to the bereaved is another way, but I suppose if you don't know the people but just want to say how sorry you are this may be the only way. And in a way, it seems to have become another of those traditions. I send my best wishes to all Gransnetters that have been through tradgedy and I know there are many. flowers

Bags Sat 13-Apr-13 21:18:46

Biodegradable, UV and weather sensitive tributes seem like a good idea to me. Ultimately they cause no problems.

NfkDumpling Sat 13-Apr-13 21:08:15

Absent I had noticed from observing memorials tied to a tree on a nearby main road that the cellophane first looses it's colour, then goes brittle and dirty grey and final disintegrates and blows away to reveal at last the remains of the original tribute - a clump of desiccated stalks.

I like the idea which seems on the rise of a permanent marker, a small cross or flower vase or a shrub with a marker.

FlicketyB Sat 13-Apr-13 16:51:44

I would rather send flowers to the bereaved relatives. They are the ones that need them and will benefit from them.

Bags Sat 13-Apr-13 08:15:07

positivepam flowers

Bags Sat 13-Apr-13 08:14:06

There is a site not too far from us where a young man died in a car crash several years ago. Flowers and other things are fastened to the tree that he crashed into. They are refreshed periodically. The site has been refreshed recently with daffodils. Sometimes football scarves are tied to the tree as well. There is always something. It must be five or six years now. I don't think he was out of his teens. Imagine if it were your son.

absent Sat 13-Apr-13 08:02:33

NfkDumpling Cellophane is made from plant material and is not plastic. It is also biodegradable so not quite so awful as you think. Flowers without any sort of wrapping are best though.

POGS Fri 12-Apr-13 23:52:11

POSITIVE

Please accept my apology if I have offended you. . flowers

glassortwo Fri 12-Apr-13 22:56:13

positive flowers

annodomini Fri 12-Apr-13 22:48:57

positive, I didn't know. What a dreadful loss. I will think of you the next time I am driven to feel censorious about these roadside memorials.

NfkDumpling Fri 12-Apr-13 22:31:04

Positive your loss is truly terrible. Leaving tributes is very laudable and touching, my point is that the tribute is hidden by coloured plastic. The flowers inside my be lovely - or may not actually be there. All that is visible is a pile of multi coloured cellophane. Several times I've thought some one had been fly tipping. I know in other countries the wrapping is removed to show the flowers. Why can't people do it here.

positivepam Fri 12-Apr-13 22:15:30

Gosh when I read some of the views posted on this thread it made me quite sad. People have usually died at these places, by some means or another and if it helps people to place flowers or whatever there, what does it matter and what has it got to do with anyone else. When my son was murdered by a church, many people placed flowers, some friends, some strangers and I was really touched by their thoughts and kindness. These are acts of kindness, if you don't like it don't do it but don't knock the people that do please. flowers

harrigran Fri 12-Apr-13 17:41:44

I don't like to see flowers by the side of a road. I would not go to a hospital ward and tie a bouquet to a bed. Flowers belong in vases in a place that the deceased loved.

jennyjay Fri 12-Apr-13 16:54:33

I'll admit some displays are quite a distraction, but in the fraction of a second that you see an obviously organised flower arrangement for mourning, I don't know about you, but my mind straight away thinks ''an accident happened here'' and that I suddenly become more aware of my actions at that precise moment in time - either slowing me down, or taking that extra precaution looking around for bikes etc.

In a away.. possibly like those new 'flashing 30' lights along the roadside - you could be in a world of your own until that catches your attention and brings you back to reality.

However! I know this article is about some arrangements looking unsightly which I quite agree with - there are some lovely flower arrangements available without loud wrapping.
It's always a sad thought seeing a fresh bouquet though sad though a collection of withered forgotten flowers shares the same sad thought too..

Nonu Fri 12-Apr-13 16:52:05

Perhaps they are safer drivers in this area Laugh !

{wink]

glassortwo Fri 12-Apr-13 16:16:18

nonu there are lots in this area, but we have lots of narrow country lanes which are popular with bikers and fast cars.

Nonu Fri 12-Apr-13 15:31:45

When we are driving round the States we very often see floral tributes + crosses . Particulary on bends where the Bikers love to drive.
I think it is nice because if it happened many, many miles from their home , people are possibly not able to visit regularly.
I do not seem to have seen them so much in this country .

Gally Fri 12-Apr-13 15:25:47

There's a 'memorial' near my village which is festooned in football kit, scarves and heaven knows what else, still there after 5 years. It looks as if someone has dumped a load of old clothing by the roadside. I really do think that 5 years is long enough and, if they must, the family could lay flowers on the anniversary of the accident.

petallus Fri 12-Apr-13 14:44:04

I heard there is an organisation that takes it upon itself to place these flowers.

I agree they could at least take the cellophane off.

NfkDumpling Fri 12-Apr-13 14:01:50

Around here discrete little crosses have started to appear. I think these are much better than cellophane heaps and do bring home accident black spots. They make me think about how I'm driving.

glassortwo Fri 12-Apr-13 13:22:14

My FIL takes flowers to the crematorium on birthday, anniversaries, Christmas etc, I dont like leaving flowers at the crem, I like to see them at home and remember the person in the places they loved and not among lots of other flowers in some cold crematorium, which is the last place my MIL would be if given the choice, so I dont understand the flowers by the roadside thing, but everyone to their own I suppose.