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To use my second name rather than my first?

(28 Posts)
Lilygran Wed 29-May-13 14:54:16

My parents gave me two names but chose to use the second. I've never been addressed by my first name and this has never been a problem until quite recently. Anytime I get tangled in a bureaucratic web, I now get treated as a dubious character with an alias. Latest was a surreal conversation with the doctor's receptionist who has now told me that in order to prove my existence I will have to take her my birth certificate or passport. I've been registered with the practice for over 20 years. Anyone else have this problem? And if so, what do you do about it?

sunseeker Wed 29-May-13 14:58:52

Needless red tape it seems to me.

Reminds me of my two uncles, one was called Albert William and the other William Albert (my grandparents obviously not that imaginative!). The one named Albert was known as Bill and the one named William was known as Albert - I have never been able to work that one out confused

Movedalot Wed 29-May-13 15:06:33

One of my brothers was always called his second name. Parents wanted it to be his first but then the initials would not have read well.

DS3 was always called by a diminutive of his name and when he was 18 decided to change it. All he did was apply for a new passport and included a letter I had written as an explanation and it was done. Legally you don't need a deedpoll, just need to be in common use.

Ask to speak to the practice manager to explain.

numberplease Wed 29-May-13 15:18:39

I`ve got 2 Christian names, and have always been called by the second one, but to save confusion, I use the first one at the doctors, etc.

Lilygran Wed 29-May-13 15:18:42

Thanks, Movedalot. I was laughing helplessly by the end of the conversation so they probably now have me tagged as a difficult patient!

Enviousamerican Wed 29-May-13 15:23:22

I do what numberplease does. Called the second name for family,first for some school friends and legal or medical dealings.

gillybob Wed 29-May-13 15:40:58

Oh Lilygran how I understand your problem. My husband has always used his middle name. It is the name by which he is known and has always been addressed. Problems often arise as his passport shows his full name and he has to remember to book any flights etc using his first name which is completely alien to him as he doesn't ever use it. He spent some time in hospital recently and once again the "name problem" cropped up when the name above his bed was his first (and not his user) name, all his notes were in the "wrong" name too.

I have always cursed his parents for not naming him the other way around. If that was the name they wanted him to use then why make things so awkward?

Sunseeker confused grin

Tegan Wed 29-May-13 16:00:23

Probably registered with the practice with your second name and the computer has thrown up an anomaly [is that the right word]. Everyone now has to produce a photographic id when they register with a doctor along with a utilities bill [I think it's another way the government can find out how many illegal imigrants there are?].More red tape, I agree, but probably necessary. The latest computer programme asks for the christian name first so if a patient gives a surname and a second christian name it's possible to bring up the wrong patient.

Marelli Wed 29-May-13 16:09:07

I'm known by my second name as well, and have never been called by my first, but it hasn't really caused any problems. DH's first name is never used, but the Gaelic equivalent for it is the one that he's called by. This really has caused problems, as he has to remember this when he fills forms in etc. If I'm not there to remind him, he always writes his 'own' name confused.

Gagagran Wed 29-May-13 16:15:46

Apart from by my parents and siblings I have always been known by a diminutive of my first name. One sister is known by her second name and one brother by a diminutive of his first name. DH is known by his second name.

What a confusing lot we are! grin It's a lot easier just being Granny!

Ruthdpl Wed 29-May-13 16:45:12

Same here. I've always been known by my second name. My parents always said that the names in the right order 'scanned better' but if no-one was going to use the first name, what does it matter how they sound?!
Anyway in official dealings for bank cards etc, I make sure that both my names are on there in full so that at least one name tallies with the signature. I also put both names on any forms and sometimes insert a note to say that I am 'known as' my second name for the avoidance of confusion.
I blame the parents!

mollie Wed 29-May-13 19:52:00

I would have thought that you could use any of your given names without any hassle but would have to explain any adopted ones. What you need to remember is that if you are known by one name in one place and by another somewhere else it is possible your two aliases may collide. Nine years ago I had the terrifyingly hysterical experience of trying to locate my son at a central London A&E and had to run through a series of names that he was known by before his admittance could be confirmed. He had different nicknames for his different groups of friends and unfortunately I didn't know the nickname for the group he had been with (and had yet to meet them) and they didn't know his real name. It was a surreal experience.

susieb755 Wed 29-May-13 20:24:41

Likewise Mollie - I rang the house share where my son lived, and was told he didn't live there- I had to ring back and remember what they called him ! I the bought him ryan air tickets in the name he is known by, as he had changed most things to that, all except the ruddy passport, so had to fork out £110 at the check in to change it - the tickets only cost £32..

Gally Wed 29-May-13 20:27:48

I have 2 christian names and am not known by either of them! The staff in our village bank has recently changed completely which has caused a lot of problems, but, as I told them, I have had my account there for 32 years with no hassle and I'm not about to change my signature for anyone. I am fed up with explaining the whys and wherefores to everyone - so - too bad wink

Faye Wed 29-May-13 20:51:10

My mother had three given names and was called by her third. She always said it was annoying having to explain. I always told her it makes no difference you just go by the name you use but she always signed her name using her first initial then went into explanations.

specki4eyes Wed 29-May-13 22:24:16

Yes one of my DS's has always been called by his second name and in recent years it's created huge problems for him because he works in the defence sector (has to sign the Official Secrets Act etc). I was amused to learn only recently that he's woven a huge tale around this - saying that his father and I didn't agree on names which resulted in the use of his second name - complete bunkum! I wonder to myself how many years he's been peddling this story! But he now has to carry identity docs with him - "all your fault mum"!!
I told him to get his name changed by deed poll- does anyone know if this would work?

absent Wed 29-May-13 22:31:36

One of my sisters-in-law was actually named Patricia, but her grandmother said that it wasn't a name, just the noise made when someone sneezed. Consequently, she has always been known by her second name. That's granny power! grin

nanaej Wed 29-May-13 22:39:24

I have changed my name by deed poll but the only place I forgot to inform was the NHS so my medical card is still in a previous surname. It always takes me a moment when I am called at docs to remember it is me!

Nelliemoser Wed 29-May-13 22:52:05

A lot of older people seem to do this. An Aunt was Evelyn Annie always known as Auntie Anne. My MGF was Joseph Arthur known always as Arthur.

Not to mention the family history problem I had with a couple of sisters first one born C1871. As Martha Maria B. The second born two years later just called Martha B! Both were still alive in 1891.
Martha Maria later turned up as Alice B my fathers foster mother in 1915. This identification problem was finally confirmed by her death certificate which had her down as Martha Maria known as Alice.

absent Wed 29-May-13 22:56:14

How about David who later became Edward VIII and Bertie (Albert) who became George VI? I bet they didn't have to produce a passport when they wanted to see a doctor. smile

Enviousamerican Wed 29-May-13 23:00:19

I was named after my gran. I think she called me by my middle name because she wasn't comfortable addressing me by her name.

grumppa Wed 29-May-13 23:20:47

When my mother and father divorced back in the 1950s she set up in business on her own and took a different first name and surname, taken from the author of a book she happened to be reading at the time. She had no trouble setting up a bank account, etc. in the new name, and her business contacts who met me assumed her new surname was mine.

Things got more complicated when she travelled with her (married) partner and he had a suitcase with his initials on but did not like to use his real name at hotels. They adopted a risible third surname starting with the appropriate letter for satisfying hypocritical hotel managers and receptionists that they were married and respectable, and I ended up using it too when I travelled with them in the school holidays.

What computers would have made of this lot I dread to think.

Hunt Wed 29-May-13 23:32:06

It was on my friend's wedding day at the registrar's that we learned that her husband to be was not christened with the name by which he was known . We thought she was marrying the wrong person. When I went to college I thought it would be fun to to tell everyone that my name was Frances ( my middle name ) Couldn't keep it up though as I never remembered to turn round when anyone called ''Frances''!

pinkprincess Thu 30-May-13 01:07:34

Two of my sisters have always been called by their second names.
One of them has the first name of Anne, because if that was her second name her initials would have been Jam.
The other was my mother's third girl and she was hoping for a boy and told my grandfather she would call him after him. When she turned out to be a girl my grandmother came up with a girl's name she liked, but my mother did not favour it.She was given the female version of my grandfather's name as a second name, my mother loved it, decided she would be known by that name, but kept the first name so not to offend my grandma.

AlieOxon Thu 30-May-13 19:05:14

My mum was Eleanor May, known as May, she signed herself E. May....