DIL needing advice off a Gran.

*denied

YaYa you sum it up perfectley.

It just makes me so angry. There are nans here who have been dinied contact for no real reason who would love to see their grandchildren...then there's her. Who have family, who want her to have a relationship with them and she can't be bothered. She is so lucky and she has no idea.

Ive been told she is Toxic, ive googled it and she fits the bill.

YaYa sums it up perfectly.

Congratulations! Many, many families are far from, peace, harmony and light for all sorts of reasons, the previous posts have some good advice but I would just like to add that we can never change another person but we are in charge of how we react to their behaviour and by not taking it personally we can have far greater peace of mind and not be affected by others negativity.

The reasons for her behaviour and attitude may never be clear - even to her herself - what matters is that your own family is not negatively affected.

Just enjoy your own little family Redheadedmommy, many congratulations


Her loss!

Thank you! She is an absolute stunner (but im biased she is pale, dark brown hair and blue eyes!

It is MIL's loss. She is missing out on so much. When confronted she turned it all back onto us, blamed us and said some pretty vile things to my DH, who has done everything for her. He used to pick her up/take her home once a week, he'd take her shopping..all sorts.

Thats was abit of a rant, sorry! DH is free to have a relationship with her but I think he has given up. I really wish things was different.

Congratulations Redheaded Enjoy her, its nice you have given us "feedback"

Congratualtions and thank you for coming back to tell us the good news. There have been comments on the past about contributors with a problem, advice from members and then no more is heard so you never know if things have improved or not. Delighted to hear your news - may your new baby bring you much happiness.

Focus on your own lovely family. One day, when you become a mother-in-law (and it does creep up on you eventually!), you will know how NOT to do it!

Congratulations - enjoy your lovely little family and do not expend too much energy worrying about situation with MIL.

No MIL hasn't come through for us. I was in slow labour from 38 weeks, contsnat pain, i had 2 sweeps and was stretched to.2cm (as painful as it sounds!). I had these sweeps on a Friday so the contractions were much worser on a weekend.
We told them to come on a weekday as it would be alot easier for us.
They didn't come down 2 weeks and we was told we are being very awkward and it seems like we make no time for them!!

Alot of other things happened. including her telling people i am anorexic. i am no such thing. we have no contact now. its such a shame

Congratulations on the birth of DD2, Redhead! I hope MiL is also being more considerate. Enjoy your baby! xx

Congrats RedHead and thanks for letting us know. Lovely to have another little one to enjoy

Congratulations . Thank you for letting us all know.

I hope your baby encourages your MiL to be more cooperative. (Sometimes you just have to take people as you find them. It's not worth the angst of trying to change them.)

Congratulations

I know this is an old thread but I seeing as you ladies took time to help and wish me.well, i thought i'd update on the birth of DD2, who was born in August- 14 days late! She is fabulous

Good luck with the new delivery! Hope you have an easy labour.

To hell with it, I need grandchildren, I'll come x

Meant to send you x

Thank you so much
Im just letting it go this time as i don't know the full ins and outs, plus im almost ready to pop and really can't be bothered..plus hormones arn't helping.
Thank you all so much x

RedheadedMommy...lots of sound advice. My thought is...you've enough to cope with. You really do not need aggravation at this stage. If possible, close your mind to all the negative vibes created by MIL. If you can, sit in the sunshine and soak up all the peaceful pleasures that come your way, in readiness for the wee one's birth. I send good vibes from sunny Kintyre. [flower]

Shrugging it off is a good plan, redhead. Remain civil to her and enjoy your new baby. All the best.

I think i'm just going to ignore it this time, i havn't got the energy atm!
If she is suffering then i'd much prefer she'd tell us, however im sure she would let us know as she loves to moan! (she cancelled ones due to being 'ill' turns out she had a hangover..) But in all serious if she was suffering it'd be best for us to know as its a genuine reason and we'd sort something out, however, if it is just down to 'period pain' and nothing else i'll be annoyed as we had to go and travel to see her when i was in labour, so period pain just doesnt cut it.
Oh well. Its her loss if shes using silly excuses. athanks ladies

26 years ago my MIL did a similar thing. Cancelling a visit at the last minute because she had to mind her other grandchild. I unfortunately, voiced my objection, as this was the last straw in a variety of insulting incidents. She then told me, in no uncertain terms, how she preferred the other grandchild over our two children! The result was that she did not make contact with us or her grandchildren for two years, despite our Christmas/ birthday contacts. We had to make the first move. On reflection I now wish I had handled it differently. She would have continued to be difficult and insulting, but somehow we should have 'turned the other cheek, on her strange behaviour.
Some years later she did a similar thing to her 3rd set of grandchildren and their parents. Unfortunately she died a very unhappy person. X

A much beloved aunt of mine suffered from crippling and irregular periods for many years. She could barely stand up. It was far worse from the period pains that most women seem to get from time to time. I could write a list of the theatre and concerts when she couldn't use the tickets, holidays cancelled etc. - and this was the most uncomplaining of women. If your mother-in-law has that sort of problem (solved in my aunt's case by a hysterectomy in her forties), then her cavalier treatment of you and her grandchild is at least understandable.

I hope all goes well with the rest of your pregnancy and the birth is a doddle.