Gransnet forums


Birthday let down

(31 Posts)
Anne09 Tue 23-Jul-13 16:45:09

Hi gransnet friend feeling really down today. Hubby away back to America for four weeks. He took me out for a lovely bar lunch yesterday but darling daughter presumed we were all going . So as you can see we are bad parents. We had a family BBQ on Saturday bouncy castles all family so why are we made to feel guilty because hubby wanted to go on our own. I mean the kids have been at our house every day for the last three weeks eating both lunch and dinner . So the out come is I'm dreading tomorrow which should be my birthday as I think she is going to do her best to spoil it. So I feel like running away so I don't have to see them. What she forgets is she has two brothers who never seem to have my full attention. I thought life would be easier but it just seems to be one drama or another her way or no way. This happens every now and again so you would think I be used to it. I will wait and see what tomorrow brings joy or sadness but I'll wish myself a happy birthday . Anne09 wineflowers for me xx

Anne58 Tue 23-Jul-13 16:53:26

Oh Anne don't let it get to you, and every good wish for your birthday tomorrow!

sunseeker Tue 23-Jul-13 17:16:33

Happy birthday for tomorrow - don't let her spoil your day flowers

Gorki Tue 23-Jul-13 17:19:26

Happy Birthday Anne and don't let anybody spoil it .flowers

Bags Tue 23-Jul-13 17:22:18

Happy Birthday for tomorrow, Anne. And remember this: you have done nothing wrong. Eat cupcake, drink wine and brew and be merry! flowers

KatyK Tue 23-Jul-13 18:08:28

Happy birthday for tomorrow Anne. At least she wants to celebrate with you, I can't imagine my daughter wanting to spend my birthday with me!

petra Tue 23-Jul-13 21:00:56

"her way or no way" I've got one like that.

ginny Tue 23-Jul-13 21:03:05

flowers Tell her to get over it. You and your DH are entitled to have a lunch on your own. Does she take you everwhere she goes ?

Happy Birthday.

Mishap Tue 23-Jul-13 21:07:58

Have a happy birthday. Why do our adult children find it so hard to think that we might have emotional lives of our own as a couple? - we are past it apparently. Don't let it get you down.

Deedaa Tue 23-Jul-13 21:09:16

How old is your daughter? I think one of the first things we have to learn as adults is that our parents have their own lives. In years to come I bet she'd be appalled if you expected to be included in everything she was doing. You say it's her way or no way, but it needs to be the family's way and she fits in with that. Sounds so easy doesn't it hmm Good luck and have a lovely birthday flowers

glassortwo Tue 23-Jul-13 21:15:47

Anne Happy Birthday for tomorrow, but dont let her grind you down, enjoy your day flowers wine cupcake

annodomini Tue 23-Jul-13 22:17:56

Happy Birthday Anne. wine Cheers!

kittylester Wed 24-Jul-13 07:09:53

Happy birthday Anne - have lovely day. flowers

Ella46 Wed 24-Jul-13 07:24:14

Anne Have a lovely birthday with your husband cupcake flowers

It's your life!

LizG Wed 24-Jul-13 07:33:07

Happy Birthday Anne flowers

Marelli Wed 24-Jul-13 09:35:17

Happy birthday! flowers

shysal Wed 24-Jul-13 09:51:15

Happy birthday. Think only of your own wishes for once. cupcake

russet Wed 24-Jul-13 10:05:41

Hi Anne

Please don't be too hard on yourself. It sounds like you have fallen into a way of life which you are now finding a bit too much. Perhaps you can make a plan to change things slightly, a lunch with a friend, perhaps join a walking group, whatever takes your fancy. Happy Birthday.

glammanana Wed 24-Jul-13 10:24:16

Anne have a Happy Birthday to-day and treat yourself do something you wouldn't normally do and wine [cake] & more wine

gracesmum Wed 24-Jul-13 10:28:08

So many Mums martyr themselves (self included) because we don't want to hurt/upset/inconvenience our offspring. Goes with the territory, but with the support of friends who truly understand , sometimes you have to take a deep breath and say No, me first. Not easy (I know, I'm rubbish at it, but at least I recognise the principle)
Happy Birthday flowers and maybe a wine or two!

Nelliemoser Wed 24-Jul-13 11:10:03

Anne09 Have lovely birthday and think about yourself! Don't tell your DD what you are doing. you are not being selfish.

Grannyknot Wed 24-Jul-13 14:28:48

I was away with my husband for my birthday earlier this month so my son met me 2 days before the day and gave me my pressie and my daughter said "See you when you get back, love you lots". I am surrogate mother to a whole host of young adults apart from my own two, extended family, nieces and nephews etc and I told them all, "I'm off on holiday, save your dramas for when I get back!" smile Strangely enough, they managed without me for 2 weeks!

I hope you had a nice day, happy birthday flowers

Gorki Wed 24-Jul-13 14:48:12

Belated Happy Birthday greetings Grannyknot.I seem to be following you round the forums this afternoon. I would rather have been following you around the Hebrides !

nanaej Wed 24-Jul-13 14:53:30

Happy birthday! Hope things were OK and daughter was not thoughtless!

Gally Wed 24-Jul-13 15:53:57

Happy Birthday flowers Hope you had a peaceful and private celebration!