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Tired and unreasonable

(29 Posts)
Caramac Sat 10-Aug-13 19:04:04

I do love being a granny but am finding it so much harder than mummying. I don't think its just because I am older. My daughters are happy for me to discipline little peeps, they seem to recall I was fair, mostly, with them and think my values and standards are good. Trouble is, I want to be nice granny, not the one who puts them on the naughty step etc whilst Mummy watches (and sometimes clearly disagrees but doesn't want to rock the boat). I am ashamed to say that sometimes I am too strict but I am so tired because I work and have a few health issues although nothing major and just want some peace and quiet. I provide some childcare (12hrs a week) and see them most days. What do others think?

j08 Sat 10-Aug-13 19:06:38

I have given up trying to pussy-foot round my two. When necessary they get it both barrels. I think I shout more than the other gran.

Either they love me or they don't.

j08 Sat 10-Aug-13 19:07:24

I'm not sure I like the naughty step. A quick shout and it's over I find.

nanaej Sat 10-Aug-13 19:10:01

As long as they can see you are being fair they will continue to love you to pieces!

Galen Sat 10-Aug-13 19:18:03

I don't even know what this naughty step is? Can someone enlighten me?

whenim64 Sat 10-Aug-13 19:27:42

Supernanny Jo Frost used to recommend one minute on the bottom stair for each year of the child's age, as time out from naughty behaviour. After, they say 'sorry' give mum a cuddle and do the same blinkin' thing again! grin

nanaej Sat 10-Aug-13 19:29:56

A place a child has to sit when they have 'been naughty' They are supposed to sit there for the equivalent number of minutes as their age! Bit like 'time out' . If they move before time is up the time all starts again.

I have never used it as i was not convinced the kids would stay anywhere and i would spend the whole day turning over the egg timer & putting said child on the step /chair! grin

Galen Sat 10-Aug-13 19:30:05

Bit like the nuns making me stand in the corner when I'd been cheeky?

nanaej Sat 10-Aug-13 19:30:51

Sorry crossed post when

merlotgran Sat 10-Aug-13 19:31:46

I used to find running around brandishing a wooden spoon and shouting, 'Who wants some?' worked wonders. wink

nanaej Sat 10-Aug-13 19:32:08

I remember having to stand in a corner because matron found a hair in my hairbrush! confused

nanaej Sat 10-Aug-13 19:33:01

I threaten 'BIG TROUBLE' ..they never want/ed to experience it!

whenim64 Sat 10-Aug-13 19:38:21

My daughter's mischievous twin boys are told 'I will count to three. If you don't do as I say and I get to three, you will be very sorry! One....two....right, now behave yourselves!' She never gets to three, and no-one knows what will happen, including her! grin

Caramac Sat 10-Aug-13 19:45:45

Well folks you have certainly lightened my mood! To be honest, I don't want to shout and I definitely don't want to smack so I prefer the naughty step, it is time out and removes little one from situation where problem is occurring.
merlotgran, my children remind me of when I brandished a wooden spoon and especially the time when I broke it when whacking a stair! (Not on them as they would like to suggest). You have me laugh out loud! I look a complete loon! and I might just dig out a wooden spoon although if I shout out 'who wants some?; they are likely to shout 'ME!' thinking I have been baking and they can lick the spoon. Oh I can't stop laughing now, Thank You! : )))

whenim64 Sat 10-Aug-13 19:47:01

Caramac I am quite strict in my house. My mantra is 'we don't behave like that in my house!' They know I won't tolerate jumping on furniture or fighting over toys. I don't stop them having fun, making dens, playing on the stairs and trying all my 'smellies' in the bathroom. They have to sit at the table to eat and be well-mannered. I'm always shattered when they leave, but I was shattered when my own children were that age. grin

Nelliemoser Sat 10-Aug-13 19:59:45

Galen You! Being cheeky to nuns surely not! wink

Galen Sat 10-Aug-13 20:04:08

I didn't think I was, I just asked questions! That was being cheeky!

absent Sat 10-Aug-13 20:40:35

It's the not listening that gets me. The noise level with five children in what is quite a small house can become horrendous. The girls do tend to hear what is said to them, although not always, and make at least a token effort to comply. The baby is sheer magic and is learning all sorts of things every day, such as putting his sippy cup down on a coaster (!). The oldest (11) thinks he's big enough to do whatever he likes and sometimes I do have to sound quite fierce to get through to him, for the umpteenth time, that he musn't fight with his sister or wind up his little brother. Little brother is in a world universe of his own. However, if the others shut up for 2 minutes and I get him to look at me when I am talking, he does pay attention but gets very upset if he thinks he's being told off. The age range 1–11 makes things quite demanding too. Totally exhausting, generally hugely enjoyable – and the peace and quiet comes after they have gone home and it's wine o'clock.

Caramac Sat 10-Aug-13 20:48:46

I find the Mummies revert to being my (little) children when at my house...

Nonu Sat 10-Aug-13 21:41:36

Well Caramac , hate to say it but childcare is a young womans game .

it is good of you to provide childcare , for whatever reason , but it is tiring for grannies !!

numberplease Sat 10-Aug-13 22:40:30

I`ll never forget my mother chasing my horrible step-sister round the kitchen brandishing an HP sauce bottle, after she`d been giving lip, step-sister locked herself in the pantry till things calmed down. No idea what would have happened if she`d caught her!

FlicketyB Sun 11-Aug-13 08:59:43

On my kitchen wall is a picture of me looking fierce with open mouth out of which is coming a speech bubble saying 'No'. It was drawn by my 6 year old DGD when she was just 5.

I am not bothered by the picture, it is quite a good likeness and quite accurate. When the DGC are too pressing I put on my Paddington stare and say very firmly 'No'. DGS (aged 3) got it recently. I had driven for four hours to reach them and as soon as I got there I was assailed by him, delighted to see me, but brandishing sword and axe - he was being a Viking - however after 30 minutes of having an axe held to my throat and him refusing to stop when asked pleasantly I decided enough was enough and he got the stare and the No.

DS & DDiL have no problem with it and as DS says, it always very effective with him when he was a child.

Bags Sun 11-Aug-13 09:06:22

I was quite timid when I started out as a Cub leader. Not good. Now I bellow when it's needed. It doesn't seem to bother them. They keep coming back. So long as you are seen to be fair and to have rules for good reasons (rather than just rules for rules' sake), kids aren't bothered by firmness. In fact, I think they find it comforting to have clear boundaries.

Greatnan Sun 11-Aug-13 09:26:25

Absent - you are star and well deserve whatever you have after 'wineoclock'!
I have done quite a lot of babysitting, sometimes for three boys under three (two families, they lived next door to each other) but I got away without child minding because my own career was in full swing when my gc were small (and I was helping to support both families). My daughter was also working full time when her gc were born and now she lives 12,000 miles away from them! My other daughter does not work and does occasionally childmind but she is not really well enough to undertake it for long periods.
I am in very good health, but the thought of having young children to care for all day makes me exhausted. I take my hat off to all you grandparents who are giving such wonderful service to your children.

Anne58 Sun 11-Aug-13 11:13:09

We had a "warning code" to use in public places when a full telling off could have been embarrassing. We would say " (name), A B C !"

Which stood for Attitude, Behaviour, Change!