Gransnet forums


To expect personal messages not to be offensive

(75 Posts)
Flowerofthewest Tue 12-Nov-13 10:58:45

Today I received a cutting personal message in answer to comment on a post. I will not give the person's name as if she wanted it to be known and did not expect to be criticised on the forum she would have commented for all to see. She probably will now.

Tegan Tue 12-Nov-13 13:58:48

I must find out more about the Bad Housekeeping Institute smile. If ever there was something I should be a member of it's that!

kittylester Tue 12-Nov-13 14:19:53

I'm coming with you Tegan - I could maybe give lessons!! grin

gracesmum Tue 12-Nov-13 14:25:30

I was under the impression I was a founder member grin I should be entitiled to honorary membership at the very least!!

Flowerofthewest Tue 12-Nov-13 15:18:40

FYO Phoenix and I are having Christmas Lunch together wink

Flowerofthewest Tue 12-Nov-13 15:19:52

Phoned said daughter to tell her of my faux pas, she just said 'Oh Mum!!!'

And she isn't a member but is thrilled that there is another Danger somewhere in the world.

Anne58 Tue 12-Nov-13 16:01:24

grin grin

Bags the reason I didn't ask on the thread itself, was because I regarded it as private, that is that if Flowers daughter was indeed a member, either party might not have wanted it in the public domain, hence the PM (which I have posted in full somewhere up there^^^)

I do hope this makes sense?

Aaaaanyway, move along, there's nothing to see here...........

Nonnie Tue 12-Nov-13 17:09:27

I had a very nasty pm from someone who is no longer a member. One of the things she accused me of was bring 'only a housewife in poor health' I still wonder what on earth she meant, what is a housewife these days and why did she think I was one and she was not? Poor health, not me, fit as a fiddle mostly with the odd thing wrong which gets dealt with. She finished by saying she had blocked me thereby giving me no right if reply! I shrugged it off as the rantings of a lonely old buddy and forgot about it until I read this thread.

All other pms I have had have been from lovely helpful people.

Anne58 Tue 12-Nov-13 17:28:10

Which is as it should be, Nonnie smile

Ana Tue 12-Nov-13 17:39:32

I take it you meant 'old biddy', Nonnie! grin

You're absolutely right, phoenix. PMs should be between supportive and/or like-minded members, not used to cause trouble or offence.

JessM Tue 12-Nov-13 17:56:07

Yes well nonnie - as i said there this can happen and GN need to know, because that kind of thing can really upset some people and it needs to be nipped in the bud.

Lona Tue 12-Nov-13 18:27:31

Nonnie I think quite a few of us got nasty pms from that particular ex member, and GNHQ were most certainly informed!

Flowerofthewest Tue 12-Nov-13 20:27:26

Nuff said, s"*t happens. All kissed better now. Lets move on.

deserving Wed 13-Nov-13 09:05:46

Get rid of GN just send PM's to one another. Bit like sending letters, only that helped the postal service.

deserving Wed 13-Nov-13 09:11:34

Apropos of nothing, Do tumbler drier balls work?

Nonu Wed 13-Nov-13 09:16:51

Not right thread , Deserving !!

Tegan Wed 13-Nov-13 10:52:51


Anniebach Wed 13-Nov-13 11:12:35

Within days of posting here I had nine PM's from the same person , all unpleasant and a warning that she had great influence here

whenim64 Wed 13-Nov-13 11:23:41

I think I would have blocked her from sending any more after the first, Anniebach. It's very unpleasant to receive such pms from a complete stranger!

Elegran Wed 13-Nov-13 11:24:09

I hope that you reported them all, Anniebach

Anniebach Wed 13-Nov-13 11:38:26

I was new here, didn't know about reporting or how to block , have never bothered with PM's, but I did receive some warm greetings from other board members which more than compensated for the warnings and demands

Anne58 Wed 13-Nov-13 11:45:53

Must confess, I'm now itching to know who it was, Anniebach ! grin

BAnanas Wed 13-Nov-13 12:02:12

I'm amazed that anyone would send a vitriolic pm, if I had a disagreement on a forum I wouldn't bother continuing an argument via a pm, it's kind of futile arguing with someone you haven't met or don't really know. We are all entitled to feel differently about certain issues. It's unbelievable that anyone on GN would feel that they have any more influence than any other member.

kittylester Wed 13-Nov-13 12:13:41

Took the words right out of my mouth phoenix grin So, it wasn't either of us - unless that's a double bluff. confused

Elegran Wed 13-Nov-13 12:16:30

Delusions of self-importance, Bananas.

There is the other side too though - people posting veiled (or not-so-veiled) remarks about some members clearly having the ear of HQ more than others. What it boils down to is that people are all different, some are nasty, some are wonderful, some like to think they rule the world, others complain that they being trampled by everyone else and the world is agin them. Just like the real world.

That reminds me of someone who posted on a fun thread recently (I think it was one of the quotation ones) that we should all stop wasting our time on here and make contact with real people. I think in the last few weeks we have seen the wide outside contacts of Gransnet members and their wealth of real live care and feelings when one of our number is in danger.

Galen Wed 13-Nov-13 12:39:11

I had one in the past from a very nasty ex member, as did several of us!