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To want to send some men off to re-education camp when they make lame, sexist jokes?

(44 Posts)
JessM Wed 04-Dec-13 17:52:53

Sitting next to a chap at lunch today. We'd only just met. His nice wife sitting the other side of him. Someone comes round to collect litter (crackers etc).
Asked "Have you got any rubbish"
Man replies, wittily, "only the wife".
I splutter something along the lines of "what are you men like"
Why are they so clueless and gauche these older men? Why have their wives not instructed them with carving knives to their groins, that this kind of joke is neither funny, nor kind nor remotely becoming to the twit who uttereth?

baubles Wed 04-Dec-13 18:04:41

I have a brother in law who could be the man you describe.

For over thirty years I've been listening to his sexist, misogynist 'jokes'. I've had the 'that's not in the least bit funny' conversation with him many a time but it just bounces off him. His wife doesn't seem to mind his constant stream of innuendo nor does she object to being the butt of his pathetic jokes.

I'm told to 'take a chill pill' or 'lighten up' , I find him objectionable and avoid his company.

baubles Wed 04-Dec-13 18:05:28

Oh and he is the same age as I am so not young but not terribly old either.

KatyK Wed 04-Dec-13 18:09:28

Years ago I used to hear a lot of this. I can remember at a party in the '70s a man saying to another man, 'what happened to that suitcase you used to keep your ventriloquist's dummy in,' and then (pointing to the man's wife) 'I see you've still got the dummy'. Unbelievable. Can't say I've heard much of it in recent years though (thankfully).

ffinnochio Wed 04-Dec-13 18:13:07

baubles Sounds like my brother-in-law who has a crass ex-army mess style of 'joking'. I once told him he was dishonourable to say such a thing in front of women. Think that hit home.
He's watched his point's with me every since!

whenim64 Wed 04-Dec-13 18:29:49

I, too, have a BIL whose crass jokes are delivered whilst he watches for my reaction. He's not going to change, but fortunately I don't see him as often these days.

JessM Wed 04-Dec-13 18:58:58

there is a trend here. Its always the brother in law and never the husband... hmm

Ana Wed 04-Dec-13 19:07:05

OK, I'll buck the trend. My OH doesn't do sexist jokes as such, but he does make my blood boil on occasion when the subject of money, or payment, comes up.

He did it the other day when we were making enquiries about a new boiler. I made some query as to choice of thermostats or something similar, to which the answer was that X was more expensive than Y, and OH immediately chips in with "Spending my money again...?".

I can't tell you how cross that makes me, when I've worked for 40-odd years and am still doing so, whereas he's been retired for 20 years...angry

Agus Wed 04-Dec-13 19:24:45

Not my usual civilised behaviour but at a dinner party my BiL aimed one scathing remark too many at me. Something in me completely snapped and I aimed the contents of a glass of red wine back at him. The other guests told him my reaction was well overdue and time to admit defeat. Fortunately he now lives half way across the world and I do not have to suffer this buffoon any more.

Anne58 Wed 04-Dec-13 19:44:03

Try a long, cold hard stare while saying the words "So, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Notso Wed 04-Dec-13 19:46:09

Good for you Agus!

AlieOxon Wed 04-Dec-13 20:48:51

I like that phoenix. I shall save it for the right occasion....

Grannyknot Wed 04-Dec-13 22:07:35

Jeepers, why does the wife let him get away with it? Was it George Bernard Shaw who said "No one can put you down without your consent".

JessM Wed 04-Dec-13 22:58:52

I used to have a boss that referred to his wife (in her absence - he never invited her to any "dos') as "the poisoned dwarf". This was a man who didnt know whether their cooker was gas or electric mind you.
One day I told him it was unbecoming to refer to his wife in this manner and he never, ever did it in my hearing again.
Good word, unbecoming. You can criticise someone and flatter them at the same time. grin

I think it was eleanor rooseveldt grannyknot

Ana Wed 04-Dec-13 23:04:10

I believe the term 'the poison dwarf' was coined by Terry Wogan when Dallas was in its heyday, and referred to Lucy Ewing. (Well, she was rather short, although very pretty!)

LizG Wed 04-Dec-13 23:39:58

My OH refers to me as 'She who must be obeyed' and I totally agree so never complain smile

Anne58 Wed 04-Dec-13 23:54:56

LizG is your name really Hilda?

absent Thu 05-Dec-13 04:22:44

I was told a "joke" at a time when I was in abusive relationship which resulted in obvious physical damage quite often.

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?"

"Nothing, you have already told her twice."

It's not funny even if you are not in abusive relationship.

JessM Thu 05-Dec-13 07:32:52

shock absent

glammanana Thu 05-Dec-13 07:53:32

I have the misfortune to have as an aquantance a bloke who grew up with Mr.G they both went to the same school/same work place when they first came out of uni and same circle of friends but what a complete difference in their attitude to women,Mr.G would never disrespect anyone with crass jokes but this other chap is the most horrible man you could ever not wish to meet it has become such a problem that he is no longer invited to celebrations although he is GodFather to our eldest son as I cannot be sure he would not insult some lady with his sexist remarks the only person who laughs at them is himself,he asked DD why he wasn't invited to DS2s wedding and she told him some home truths which did not even scratch the surface with him,no wonder he has never married and is now a lonely man.

Agus Thu 05-Dec-13 08:33:25

Oh absent how could anyone actually repeat that trying to pass it off as a joke? Sick humour. Sorry to hear you went through such an ordeal like that. flowers

glammanana Thu 05-Dec-13 10:08:47

absent flowers

annodomini Thu 05-Dec-13 11:15:12

I know what I'd like to do to a man like that. It involves something very sharp in a very tender area. tchhmm

AlieOxon Thu 05-Dec-13 11:41:18


Deedaa Thu 05-Dec-13 21:48:35

I once served a man with a cup of tea and asked him if he took sugar. He said "I don't know, my wife makes it for me". I wonder what witty jokes that idiot used to make about his wife?