Gransnet forums


Christmas tree conflict!

(88 Posts)
Anne58 Sat 14-Dec-13 16:40:43

Hello all,

I would value some opinions on this rather trivial issue!

We usually have a real tree, but this year can't go down that route. However, we have all the decorations (all silver, plain lights, uber tasteful!) and a fake tree up in the loft. This was bought five years ago, we used it the first year but then went back to real.

The tree is in 3 sections, and when put together is around 6ft 6 ins.

I am proposing that we put it up, but with just the 2 top bits.

Mr P doesn't want to bother tchsad says that he just wants Christmas over and done with, with as few reminders of the festive season as possible.

I appreciate that he is feeling down, and this will be a cut back Christmas, but so what? We have each other and a Lidl 3 bird roast in the freezer! (I know others have said that they weren't impressed, but we had one last year and found it suited us and was good value for money) and with the Morrisons tokens (thanks to those that supplied the missing ones!) we can buy the usual gammon/bacon joint thingy to apply curses to on Christmas Eve tchgrin

I have tried to convince him that NOT putting the tree up is akin to giving in, waving the white flag etc, but he remains unconvinced.

It will not cost a bean to put it up, and I think we would regret it if we didn't.

Your thoughts, please?

PS One year when we were going to be away for Christmas (we spent it in Bavaria!) I suggested that we didn't bother with a tree, and he almost pouted! Until we met, he hadn't had a Christmas tree for years, despite his ex-wife being German.

annodomini Sat 14-Dec-13 20:41:58

Do get that tree up, phoenix. It's a signal to everyone that you are still up and running. tchsmile

Deedaa Sat 14-Dec-13 20:52:55

I haven't decided about the tree yet myself. (For one thing I'm not sure which safe place we put it in last year!) Normally I love putting it up, but this has been such a bad month so far - DH has now got a horrible virus and doesn't want to get involved in anything. I've put up a few odds and ends of decorations to show willing and perhaps I'll feel more Christmassy by next weekend.

Anne58 Sat 14-Dec-13 21:08:41

Again, thanks to all who have responded.

I know I shouldn't, but I did laugh janerowena at your post about grinding St John's Wort and adding it to your husbands muesli! tchgrin

Now all I have to do is to somehow persuade Mr P to eat muesli!

Elegran Sat 14-Dec-13 22:12:26

If you can manage to get muesli down him you have achieved the impossible! Dh would never eat muesli or such things, though I did persuade him to have a little fruit yoghurt occasionally.

Anne58 Sat 14-Dec-13 22:15:38

Mr P would regard both with deep suspicion!

Might be a bit hard to smuggle it into a bit of toast and marmite!

Elegran Sat 14-Dec-13 22:21:44

Curried St John's Wort and rice? St John's Wort casserole with dumplings? (there's an idea, put it in the dumplings) Jam rolypoly with St John's Wort custard?

Elegran Sat 14-Dec-13 22:26:50

Title for a cookbook - "Wort Cuisine" or "How to con your nearest and dearest into taking medicine"

janeainsworth Sat 14-Dec-13 22:28:45

I have always found the sight of the Christmas tree very comforting, even when Christmas has been a sad one, for whatever reason.
I know it's a relatively modern tradition but it seems to symbolise the peace and goodwill of Christmas.
Put it up Phoenix, I hope MrP cheers up soon.

janeainsworth Sat 14-Dec-13 22:32:26

I once put some Bach Flower Remedy Mustard (for 'deep gloom for no apparent reason') into MrA's morning orange juice.
You have to be a bit careful with St Johns Wort I think, as it can interact with some prescription drugs.

Elegran Sat 14-Dec-13 22:40:51

Is it St John's Wort that can react with sunlight on your skin? Or am I thinking of something else.

Anne58 Sat 14-Dec-13 22:45:48

Mr P isn't on any form of medication, so that's not a problem. However he doesn't "do" puddings or deserts, and if I was to put it in curry, casserole or dumplings then I would be having it too!

Might not be a good combo with Dosulepin. tchconfused

Elegran Sat 14-Dec-13 22:48:46

Sounds like he does not "do" medication either.

Elegran Sat 14-Dec-13 22:50:43

I was right. St Johns Wort can make your skin sensitive to sunlight.

Anne58 Sat 14-Dec-13 22:53:19

Not much danger of a bad reaction this time of year, Elegran tchsmile

Anne58 Sat 14-Dec-13 22:56:56

PS I have just begun stage 1 of a cunning plan!

While he is engrossed in a film, I have just been up to have a bath, and somehow (innocent face emoticon) managed to take the step ladder from the cupboard under the stairs and put it in the spare room!

janerowena Sat 14-Dec-13 23:08:45

Maybe the tree will cheer him up?

I take the St.John's Wort, I should have said, I get dreadful SAD and it doesn't afffect me in any way. I think it only affects a few people. Yes, to the curry as previously suggested grin but he might get a bit suspicious if he has it every day! One year I did give him an ultimatum, take it or else, because he was unbearable. That was how I know it works. But when he said that it affected his work I knew that the only thing left was to give it to him for a few days when he gets really bad. Some people say it takes two weeks before it takes effect - not so in our family. Half an hour. And not addictive.

Ana Sat 14-Dec-13 23:12:55

I have taken it in the past, and I think it does work well for mild depression (and possibly SAD). It can reduce the effectiveness of warfarin, but as that isn't a problem in MrP's case I'd suggest getting some in liquid form and putting a few drops in his tea/coffee!

hummingbird Sat 14-Dec-13 23:40:09

It's your Christmas too, Phoenix! There's a point where you have to accept that he's the one with the problem, and so your own thing! I don't think I'd have the patience to pander to that behaviour ( but admittedly, I don't know how bad the consequences might be!). smile

Sewsilver Sat 14-Dec-13 23:45:58

Phoenix I really admire your spirit in the face of so many difficulties. Putting the tree up seems to be a symbol of hope for you even if Mr P isn't able to appreciate it. Strange how your step ladder has migrated itself.

Elegran Sun 15-Dec-13 10:02:59

Even stranger how the tree is going to migrate through a closed trapdoor and down the stairs.

janerowena Sun 15-Dec-13 10:30:50

Yes, if the tree makes you happy you have to do it, you can't let them drag you down with them otherwise things get really bad. I probably shouldn't be leading you astray but grinding the tablets with sugar is how I add it to his muesli, it's not the easiest stuff to disguise! But desperate measures for desperate times. He seems a little cheerier today, can't think why...

Riverwalk Sun 15-Dec-13 10:42:42

Only you know your husband Phoenix - as long as you're sure that the whole lighted and decorated tree won't tip him over the edge, so to speak, then I'd put it up as it will cheer you up and maybe DH too.

As an alternative to the tree, something I did one year when going to be away for most of Xmas week, was to put lights and tinsel, greenery, etc around the mirror and a large plant - it all looked very festive in an understated way. tchsmile

Anne58 Sun 15-Dec-13 11:17:03

One year (I can't remember why) we went out and cut a large bare branch, it was practically a mini tree, about 5ft high, sprayed it with white paint, wedged it in a silver bucket and decorated it with plain lights and silver baubles (no tinsel though) It looked gorgeous! I did suggest doing that again, but he knows how long it will take me to find the "right" branch!

PS The step ladder has now migrated to the landing! tchgrin

Elegran Sun 15-Dec-13 11:34:20

Keep an eye on that stepladder. It is aiming for the rooftop, to wait for Santa.

I have just posted on another thread about our first 1963 Christmas tree - a large branch painted white and hung with minimalist baubles. I must have been synchronised with you!

Anne58 Sun 15-Dec-13 11:41:36

What excellent taste you have!