Modern manners

a note from the couple to thank you would be correct but they may have only just received it following a honeymoon and maybe even a move into a new home. Try asking your good friends whether they have received it yet and that may jog a card to say thanks

Eighteen months ago I was invited to a wedding which I would have loved to attend but my husband's health meant I couldn't go. We decided we would send them a cheque for the equivalent of what I would have spent on the rail ticket (I didn't want to drive all that way on my own) and hotel costs. It came to a good amount as it is about 300 mile away. I have never had a thank you, a wedding photo or phone call - nothing. I know they received it as the cheque was cashed.

Yes, it's not modern manners. I send flowers every year to an elderly lady for her birthday, she's now 91 and I've never yet had an acknowledgement. When I visit I do ask if the flowers have been delivered just to be sure and they always have been.

We were invited to friends' son's wedding about 14 months ago. It was a last minute invitation so we gave money (quite a reasonable amount). To date we haven't received an acknowledgement and I hear they have split up already.

Also sent some money to friend's grandchildren several weeks ago as a thankyou, have heard nothing yet.

DIL always writes nice thankyou notes and is getting DGD1 to start writing her own. DD1 &2 tend to phone to thank us, although DD1 sends a written note from DGS. And several of DC's friends and my friend's DDs have sent lovely thankyous with photos

As I said examples of BAD manners. But I don't think we should sink to sounding like caricature old dears lamenting modern manners, there have always been instances of absence of good manners as if everything from our youth was perfect!

I would give them three months. With a list delivery may be delayed until after the honeymoon and then unwrapped bit by bit. I have had thank you letters as late as three months after the event - but I have always received them.

I am useless at sending 'thank you' letters , fortunately my girls are much better. Two sent hand made cards and the youngest had a group photograph printed on a card to send to some and a picture of the bride and groom for those who were not at the reception.

Pity it is too expensive now to post pieces of wedding cake. We received a piece of funeral cake from my OH's cousin following the death of his wife. Don't think you can put that under your pillow!

WE attended family wedding in Ireland gave the. Substantial cheque did not receive thank you for several months finally got card with photo on but quite Impersonal. We also gave some euros to brides sister who had new baby no thank you is sad. And I don't send again if no thanks. IMO if someone takes trouble to send gift a thank you is essential even if just a text.

I don't think it's * modern manners* it's BAD or an absence of manners. Often comes down to upbringing but I have experienced plenty of examples of good manners from DDs' contemporaries. I like for instance Thank You cards for baby presents with a picture of the said baby. Who cares if it comes 2 months later? What new mum has the time to churn out "bread and butter" letters?

Not the whole night Aka . I also sleep-walked later, tried to get into the wardrobe instead of the bathroom. Ex-DH must have wondered what he was taking on!

Shysal you honestly spent your wedding night writing thank you letters?

I understand this frustration, I had the same issue and it became quite awkward as time went on to say anything.

In the end we said to the parents of the bride. It was dropped into a conversation about how they were and settling into married life. We made up a small lie about hearing that several things hadn't arrived and that we were having problems with the mail in general so wanted to know if they had received their wedding gift, as we'd hate to think it had gotten lost and they thought we hadn't bought anything.

It turns out it was a perfectly innocent mistake and we were emailed by the happy couple not long after who were very apologetic, regardless I was still a bit irked, but life's too short to hold onto it.

Best of luck!

I wrote some of my thank you letters on my wedding night, and more each day of the honeymoon!

The etiquette now seems to be that it's fine to send thank yous months afterwards. My daughter-in-law sent very nice cards thanking people for baby gifts, complete with photos of the baby, but about three months afterwards.
I think it's nice to receive an email or text right away, just to say that the gift arrived safely

Thank you gransnetters for all of your feedback. Probably letter will arrive in the morning now!!!!! Will post when an acknowledgement is received!!

Recently I received a thank you for a wedding present (quite a modest present) on a card printed with a photograph of the happy couple. A lovely touch.

On a slightly different note my girls (now in their thirties) always wrote proper thank you letters at Christmas and birthdays (and still do). Not a scribbled note on a card or tagged on the end of a parental letter but a proper letter with address, date etc and with a bit of family news as well.

We used John Lewis to send a wedding gift voucher to our friend's daughter. No reponse from JL that they had done it and had to ask bride's mum if it had been received. We then received a 'thank you' note. Left us feeling a bit flat. Ho, hum!

We went to a wedding last July and still haven't received a thank you for a gift

My Godson was 21 last year and didn't receive a present as I didn't get a thank you for the cheque I sent him for his 18th.

His sister got presents for both as I received a lovely thank you card for the 18th and then for the 21st.

Tell you what I noticed recently when doing a lot of phone interviews with younger people. When you call their mobile (and bear in mind they know a recruiter is going to ring them at that particular time) they nearly all just say "Hello". Is this because most of the time people look at their phone and know who is calling? Doesn't get the conversation off to a great start for me though as I need to check that I have dialled correctly (and that I am not talking to someones partner, child or mother in law come to that) . Not asking much really is it, that they answer an expected business call with a "Hello Chris here"

I had this situation having sent a gift from a large store and approached the parents implying that I was concerned that the gift hadn't been delivered. Some young couples send the thank-yous as presents are received which is a nice touch.

Exactly the same situation but about 5 years ago and I'm still waiting! Didn't send anything when they had a child.

I guess that's the difference - modern manners demonstrated with a personal touch. When I got married, we sent a printed thankyou notelet and added a few words.

My son and daughter in law waited until they had received their wedding gifts (six weeks from JL) and their photo's and then sent everyone hand made 'thank you' cards with a photo.

I would leave it a couple more weeks, then enquire if all their JL gifts arrived, as you know it can take a few weeks. My brother's step-daughter and OH were really slow to acknowledge presents, but they had been busy making hand made thankyou cards, a few at a time, enclosing a CD of their wedding photos. All forgiven!