Cut out of their lives 3

I know Celebgran and it's the sadness that can make you be a bit 'short' with your loved ones. 6years of sending your love through cards & poems etc. is enough, 2yrs & 2mnths for me is enough also, no more can be done, it's in the hands of God now. (wish he would hurry up!)
Strange thing happened today! Going to my second Yoga class, on a Sunday I have to go round the block to get into the car park as the back entry is locked. So round I go, waiting at the lights to turn left and the car in front I saw a little pink bike & pink helmet, I just thought 'Ah! little girls Xmas bike', and then realized it was 'Them'! I could only see nasty s.i.l, then the lights changed and they speed away, so definitely saw me! I turn almost straight away left into the leisure centre, much to their relief I'm sure How can a glimpse like that, lift your heart & give you a few moments of happiness??

Yoga girl please be assured you have done all regarding your son can 2015 has to be year we concentrate on what we have.

Totally right smileless I have had shift in feelings of how to cope this year.

Of course we don't forget and we feel sad at times think of Tor and. Mollie all time, still have her baby photos up as it was a happy time but in the past now.

I got sooooo low last Sunday they seem worst day somehow that did ask ours son to try again, moth his sister. Sadly his response was he will ever forgive Tor for the pain she has caused us and he grudgingly said he would consider sending her his new address. I must not damage our relationship but he reassured me we may argue now and then but he could Never do what she has done.

6 years of sooo much effort cards, presents, poems in the end I have to walk away before I go crazy never ever one tiny response. I don't know my daughter anymore she is like some total stranger to be so cruel and unfeeeling.

Thank you Smileless wise words

Bless you Yogagirl, no one could ever think you heartless. You've reached that point now when you have to take care of yourself, when you know you cannot take anymore so there's only one option left. Begin (emotionally) to walk away, disconnect from those who no longer want you and focus on those who do.

We've reached that point too and I think Celebgran has also and it seems rather fitting as we begin a new year.

We will all be here for one another as friends to give our support, what ever path we find ourselves on, be it the path that goes no where, the path that takes us away from our estranged children or the path that keeps leading us back to them despite to cost to ourselves. I feel that I and my dear hubby have been on the road to no where for too long and it's time for us to take a new direction.

for all on here. Have a good weekend everyone.

Just want to add a footnote regarding not contacting my S. I did write to him a week or so before Xmas, asking him to come and stay & how lovely if we could have Xmas dinner together, no reply. This is a snippet of my pm to Smileless* & Celebgran
I wrote to him Xmas morning, wishing him a 'Happy Xmas'& saying how I was remembering all the joyous,happy Xmases of the past and saying I really hope he has a lovely day, ending with 'I miss & love you mum', I didn't expect a reply but 10mins later received one, I was afraid to open it, it just said; "How touching :'-( (don't have faces on my old pc) So I could take it two ways, either he was actually missing us on Xmas day or he was being sarcastic, I took it as the first and wrote back that I would phone him if I had his no. & that if he drop called me I would call him back, you guessed it, no call back.;
I've posted this in case others reading the post on here thought me heartless not contacting my S over Xmas, it was the 'Happy New Year' message I didn't send. [Confused]

Sounds like you had a great time seeing in the New Year Yogagirl. It would have been hard for you not to contact your son again but it's much harder when we do and are ignored or insulted.

Hope you're fully recovered now Celebgran from your festivities. Can't honestly say I'm sorry that tit's all over for another year, even though we enjoyed ourselves, but I will be sad when the little Christmas hats go.

House looks a bit bare now the decs have gone but it's nice to get back to normal, well as normal as I can be. Back to the gym in the morning; best to start the year as I mean to go on.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR"

I had a really great new years eve, out with my friends,12 of us in a really good Chinese restaurant, where we danced till we dropped! Midnight was great, with all the usual fun, conga out the door & all
Still have my Deco up, will come down Monday, if not before, have a class this morning, then 3 over the w/e, my Deco goes up less than a week before Xmas, so always leave it up for NYD.
Hope your heads better today Celebgran, sounds like you had a good night, and you Smileless. Well we are into 2015, who knows what the year will bring, can't be worse than the last two years for me & Smileless & 5yrs for Celebgran
Your philosophy on the coming year is the right & only one for us now Celebgran, I have totally let go, didn't contact my S at all in the end

Happy New Year one and all. Sounds as if you had a great time last night Celebgran and how lovely it is to read your positive post. Hope you're feeling a little less fragile and enjoy your tea.

Well, we've taken down all of our decs., inside and out. Isn't it funny how it takes a lot longer to put them up than it does to take them down. When I mentioned to dear hubby last night that that's what we'd be doing today, he looked surprised; don't know why, we've been taking them down every New Year's day since we were married....for 34 years!!!! bless him.

Hope you've recovered from your celebrations last night Yogagirl. We skyped our DS yesterday and had a lovely meal out with friends before going back to theirs for champers to see in 2015.

Enjoying Colin Firth as 'Mr. Darcy'. Hubby is plugged in to his IPad, head phones and all, watching football, although I keep catching him removing them every now and then and taking a look at the TV.

I'm with you Celebgran let's enjoy every thing we do and every one we have in our lives to share with. We too have much to look forward too this year and who knows what other lovely things my await, that we don't know about yet.

Happy happy new year smileless yogagirl nanban and all lovely grans on here!

Just off for afternoon rest very fragile lot dancing, lot drinking and then didn't sleep well so mmmmm but feeling. Good and positive. Sad for what I have lost but happy for what I have.

We have decided to enjoy each day and take pleasure in What and who we have instead of breaking our hearts any further chasing what we can't have now if ever.

Barbados In 10 weeks weekend away with good friends for husbands big birthday so loads look forward to.

Wishing us all peace of mind x

Oh dear, a couple of typing errors in that message ladieslet's hope that improves in the New Year. Did you spot them? Bet you did.

That's a really good idea for a New Year's resolution Celebgran; not spending time with people who drag us down would mean having more ti e to spend with all of you lovely ladies.

Hope you dinner party is going well Yogagirl. You'll have to give us all the details tomorrow so we'll know what we've missed.

In case I don't have time tomorrow, 'Happy New Year' dear Yogagirl and Celebgran and to all the lovely ladies who post on this thread..

Let's get 2015 off to a really good start, and hope it stays that way.

Echo that smileless! Gra bee work today and we just about dish up casserole and dumplings mmm.

We off to dance Tom night with friends and another friend just rang invite us round fri night sat. Night Chinese with other good friends feeling loved!

No. Or me cards for me in 2015 not to daughter or begging letters feel more. Positive thanks to great advice from lovely supportive friend.

Will still send mollie card for her 7th birthday,

Well done yogagirl busy girl doing dinner party, we cancelled Tor god mum fri and now glad we have as got invite. Another resolution not spending time with people who drag us down !

Happy new year enjoy smileless and yogagirl and rest of grans too.

I feel good and slightly puzzled Yogagirl and will hopefully be 'panic attack free' in a few days when our gc's bday card is posted through their door.

I don't take this as an indication that they're going to have a more mature and dignified attitude though as they were outside their friends, in full view of my mother's living room window on Christmas Eve. They were laughing and talking loudly with my little gc in full view so the regular public performances of 'how happy and in love we are' and 'what a happy family we are' continue.

Glad to hear you've got your New Year celebrations all planned Yogagirl. What are you up too Celebgran? We're off to one of our favorite restaurants for a meal with friends and then back to their's to see in the New Year.

We've had some good times in 2014. The highlight spending over 3 weeks in Aus. with our beloved son and his lovely wife. There's been some great highs and some pretty awful lows so here's hoping there are at least as many highs in 2015 and a lot less lows, for us all.

Thank you Anya
Hope your hubby feeling better Celebgran I think it's better not to go on FB, too upsetting!
Well no return card Smileless, how do you feel about that, good or puzzled? I have still to write out my GC cards, keep picking them up and then putting them down again . I had a nice, but muddy, walk in the woods today and got all the fresh food for my little dinner party tomorrow, so can relax now till then. Apart from the thought of my 'tax return' that I must do in the next couple of days along with my invoices for my work .
Well I've already told you about my Xmas with pm, so won't repeat. Going out with friends to celebrate New Years Eve, so have that to look forward too. What is everyone else up to?

Day started well but all went pear shaped somehow. Wether it is result of chest infection and anti. Biotics or my good friend becoming grandma but feeling had horrid afternoon and evening. Cooked turkey dinner for us but we had words and was not huge success,

Xmas eve. Arrived at sons as they disappeared take boys routine appt doctors strange timing were home pdq but was hard as we had long trip and Gra was not well either was so good see my son but did feel partner tad lazy not at all how I would be! Still on whole was good time but we did feel cold quite a bit! Not sorry we returned Boxing Day.

I have just been on Awful lowl someone told me my daughter on f book under her nickname Tor and found it no photos of little ones one of her it hurts.

Still got nephew and Monika and Danika coming tomorrow and seeing friends Tom evening.

Sorry be such wet blanket.

So glad your Xmas went well smileless and that card not returned.

for that!

Hello ladies. Thank you so much Gagagran Ariadne Agus and Anya for your lovely words of comfort and support . I hope all of you and my dear friends on this thread had a lovely Christmas.

We had a lovely time, thanks to dear friends and their son. They came to us on Christmas Eve and we had a take away; we went to theirs for Christmas day and they came to us on Boxing day and my bro joined us too.

We skyped our dear son and d.i.l. in Aus. on Christmas day, they were in Thailand. It was lovely to be able to see them but it's bitter sweet in a way. Being able to see him and talk to him face to face some how reinforces the distance between us. When it's a telephone call you tend not to think about how far away they are.

The card never did come back and as it's our GC's 3rd birthday in just over a week we'll be posting another card and will have to wait and see what, if anything happens.

Can't decide whether to go to the gym tomorrow or wait until Saturday for my booked session. More cold turkey and gammon for lunch today and dinner this evening and for at least tomorrow too.

Well there's plenty ofhere today and I hope the sun is shining for all of you lovely ladies too.

I may not post on this thread, but I do look in now and again. It makes sad to read your stories but I now appreciate how very lucky I am in this respect. I have been thinking this over Christmas especially and all the grans who don't get to see their GC have been in my thoughts (((hugs))))

Ditto yogagirl kind when others remember us, our 6th Xmas without daughter and little ones. We had lovely time with our son but that horrid ache inside is there it seems so permanent now.

A good friend just become Grandma and it brings back the memories they are so bittersweet now

I will bounce back but for now it hurts.

How very kind of you Gagagran Ariadne & Agus. Your words mean a lot to us on here, thank you & Merry Christmas

If I could make wishes come true I would dearly wish for you all to be reunited if only your DC could remember the love you had and still,have for them.

You are in my thoughts today and I hope 2015 is kind to you.

Echoing what gg says -thinking of you all. X

I am so sorry for all the sad Grans on this thread who love and miss their DGC and DC. I truly hope that 2015 brings happier times for you all and your sadness is eased.

Try and enjoy as much as you can of Christmas Day and remember that noone can stop you sending loving thoughts through the air to your lovelies.

A Happy Christmas and a Good New Year to everyone.

Thank you Crafting
"MERRY CHRISTMAS" to all xx

I am not a poster on this thread, thankfully not having the same problems. I have been touched by all your troubles and the support you give each other. I would just like to wish you all well this Christmas and hope that you all soon have the relationship with your families that you wish for. I hope that 2015 is a better year for you all ((huggs)) to you all and I hope your children and DGC realise how much they are loved.

Hello Girls
Hope your feeling better Celebgran
I would normally be able to recognized my Laila & Jack Smileless, but the photo's were small & unclear and the cow suit didn't help either . Yes it has definitely helped putting away the photos, that were on the coffee table and from my mobile. I still have a very cute one of them on a bookcase nearby my bed, but its not staring me in the face and I still have a large one in the hall way and a long one above with three pictures in the same frame, the long one is above eye level so doesn't catch my eye, but the large professional one is at eye level and really lovely of them both, I did say to myself 'right, that will have to come down', but it's still there I've also tried to stay off the 'parents of alienated adult children' forums, of which there are more than you could imagine, but still find myself 'dipping in' I was on for a few hours this morning before I realized what the time was . The stories on there are so sad and shocking! Our page is different, even though it's about the same situation as we chat about other things too, so it makes it more like chatting to friends
I had my big 'Yogi Christmas dinner & dance' on Sunday, which was a great night and then yesterday I meet up with all the (prev. in-law) family in London for our Christmas meal, another good evening and definitely back to normal with my prev. father-in-law, all very happy, loving & giving, so 'good job' another bad deed undone from my nasty son.i.l. Relaxing today, wrapping present, no yoga classes till Saturday, so I'm just going to have a rest. Doing a little last minute shopping tomorrow and meeting up with some friends for an Xmas drink in a pub! long time since I've done that
Thank you Nanban I learnt at our family Xmas meal yesterday that my ED&GC are going to Lapland for Xmas, my ND said she doesn't believe it, but I know you can go for the day or for 3 days, so think it is true, but just made me think they are enjoying their lives and so will not be missing me and that it's for sure on the cards that I will not be seeing them again
Smileless so sorry to hear about your panic attacks. I haven't sent my precious GC any cards this year, first year I haven't, third Xmas without them, and I was going to put an advert in the paper again, wishing them a 'Happy Christmas', I had even got the photo ready, a really cute one of them both in Santa outfits, but didn't in the end, and do you know I feel better that I didn't, I feel lighter I will be putting Christmas cards in their gift bags and money in their bank accounts I open for them though.
think you may need these, as I seem to have written a novel