Cut out of their lives 3

Omg yogagirl my dear husband will be 70 next feb!

Must try shake off our sorrow and enjoy each day !
from us too xx

Thanks yogagirl I had to type it out long way could not get it to paste!

Must not get too down just enjoy what we have including our lovely support group.

Is good as we chat a out happy things too !

Today we decided spend day together I cancelled my club walk and lunch and we going out together !

Just walked to shops and got talking to elderly neighbour 90 just got over shingles, her son was estranged for years, came back when husband was dying. Still does not see much of him, so guess things never the same again.

Awful awful time with my bedridden client yesterday! Just let's say she had diarrohea! Being soft I felt had to do quick manicure then change sheet and try wash her after donning rubber gloves! Her carer could. I come back til today! One was coming last night but felt mean leave her like that!

Morning Girls
I had a very busy week last week so now catching up with all the news no bunny ears
celebgran glad to hear about your grtniece bring some joy to your heart. Enjoy Danika's 1st B/day party. How in God's name could your D get you arrested for sending such lovley gifts! Mollie will be sad when she gets to know all this.
ashmore Good luck with your move & hang on in there, my ND is in the same boat, fed up, but things are moving in the right direction at long last, so a move is in sight now.
Smileless what wonderful memories you will have of your trip to Oz with your lovely son & d.i.l sounds amazing So sorry to hear about your DH, 'sad heart syndrome', think we all have that. Thanks for ND her f.i.l was 70yrs.
Well done Celebgran on the sharing that post, it was very good.

Please dont tell me that it`s time to get over this. it`s time to move one; it`s time for you to be happy agian. To tell an Alienated Parent of Granparent to move on is like telling the sun to stop s hininig. Instead ofsayingthings like this why not take a moment to evaluate your own feelings you are encounteringi n the face of my grief. What are YOU FEELING? iS IT PAINFUL FOR YOU TO SEE MY SUFFERING? dOES IT ANGER YOU? dOES IT MAKE YOU SAD, MAD, OR DISGUSTED? HELPLESS?

Please understand this is my child and my grandchild that I am grieving over. Please understand that this is living grief, unlike any other grief most people have ever experienced. I have no closure, no memorial service, no one who sends me a sympathy card, or makes a phone call to see how I`m doing after losing my beloveds. this is years upon years of unresolved issues and unresolved grief. How can I resolve it? The persons responsible for my grief still live and thrive while I mourn for them and pray for them everyday; while I beg them to reconcile whatever it is they have agianst me. Most of the time Parents and Grandparents do not know what they could have done to caused such a chasm, and we`re never told. When we try to ask why we are met with only more silence.

So next time youre inclined to tell a griveing Parent or Grandparent to just get over it, I ask you ....which one of your children or grandchildren could you live without? If my grief is uncomfortable for you, just imagine how I FEEL.

G day smileless ! Can't believe your hol coming to close, what amazing lovely thing for your n son to say about if he has children, that must have helped your husband a lot.

When am on desk top will try cut paste the spiel.
It is a response to people who tell you to move on and get over the sadness !

Goes on to say it is my son/daughter and grandchild I have lost moving on not really an option is very good will deffo try paste it. I don't know how to attach stuff to a post?

We have invite to Danika first birthday next Monday! So pleased.
Of course is horrendous that we never saw our own little mollie on her first birthday our daughter gave us message via police that she would accept presents via our son ! We posted her a gold bangle and other bits, and delivered a walky thing, for which I got reported to police and arrested! Released without charge of course but still something I could never forgive her for. No word of thanks for rest gifts.

Anyway on brighter note we do have our lovley son who is In Quatar at moment for week, business and his lovely partner, and good friends.
We enjoyed lunch out today with lovley friends, and disco last night.
Dear husband just given me back massage, very relaxing.

Will be painful to say goodbye smileless but think of lovely memories you,will take home! Is your son going to settle in oz ?

How you yogagirl hope weekend gone ok.
Same to you ashmore.
Night night all!

G'day to you all from Oz. Oh dear, only 2 more days , trying not to think about Tuesday evening when we have to say 'good bye', it's going to be sooo hard leaving my lovely boy as it feels as if he's the only son we have now.

Bless you Celebgran. It's frightening what an effect all this emotional trauma can have on us physically so I hope your health is OK and that you're managing to get some relaxation. I'm so pleased you have your brother's gd to enjoy, although as you say, there is poignancy there as it brings home to you all that you've missed out on with your own gc. Hope you'll be able to enlighten us on the interesting spiel you've come across.

When dear hubby was in the hospital, lovely s took hold of his hand and said 'I promise you that no matter what happens in the future, I will never deprive you of any children I have'; at least we have the possibility of being grand parents in the future.

This has been a very special time. We have become so much closer to our d.i.l.. She's put a lot of effort in to planning outings for us all to enjoy and I feel a closeness between us that wasn't there before. We've had a lovely day at the wildlife park we had to leave so abruptly a week ago when hubby was taken ill. They are both back at work tomorrow, she is going to a concert this evening with friends and our lovely s has preparations to make before school begins again so it's just the 2; of us this evening. We'll walk down to the sea front (only takes about 10 mins.) and find some where nice to have a meal.

I hope your DD and her hubby are OK Yogagirl following the shock of their loss. I don't think any of us will never understand why we've lost what we had Aka; I guess some things just can't be fully explained.

Hoping I'll be feeling the vibrations of your joy Ashmore when your sale and purchase go through. It's been great keeping in touch with you all. I just know I'm going to need you for those first few days back home with my lovely boy so far away once more, and I know you'll all be there for me. God bless each and every one of you and enjoy the rest of your weekend.

smileless I have been worried and missed you posting your poor thing what a shock, I can so feel for you and husband. So so relieved his heart ok. Like me he must,try learn to relax this emotional stress just not good.

Oh it sound absolutely wonderful I really would love to go to oz now!

Try not get too down about son I do know exactly how you feel.

No Tor never even responded to Easter card tell her about her dad accident,
Hard to think any different for some weird reason they do t give a damn.

On Bright note we have lovely time with Danika her mum makes us so very welcome we feel human again! Is poignant to see then stages we missed with mollie ie crawling now and trying take step she will be 1 next weekend!
Of course it still makes me sad not to see our own little ones but fantastic we can enjoy my brothers grad daughter.

Good to hear from you ashmore sounds like move may be stressful.
well deserve after giving up for lent! Well done.

aka sometimes are harder than other.
Have good weekend all

Aka

Thanks for the smileless, having a dark night so it's welcome. Thinking of what we've lost and trying to understand why.

G'day ladies from Oz. Sorry about the long absence; got back from a 1200 mile round trip yesterday to 'Monkey Mia'. A beautiful and quite isolated spot with very bad internet connection; so bad that we couldn't get on line at all.

Dear d.i.l. booked the whole thing. Rooms with balconies over looking the beach, so close that we saw dolphins swimming right up close to the waters edge , fantastic pelicans on the fore shore, emu's wandering around the site, turtles around the pier. Had a boat trip one lunch time and saw more dolphins, turtles and sting rays. Had a day's trip being driven through the 'bush' in a 4 x 4 and saw an echidna (don't know if that's the correct spelling, they look like hedgehog but bigger with longer spines), feral cats and the best sighting of all, a kangaroo running full pelt in the same direction as our vehicle as if it was trying to out run us.

Evening cruise with sails only so very tranquil. More dolphins and turtles and then a manta ray came out of the ocean, twice. It was enormous, hubby reckoned it must have been close to 5 meters wide. One of the most amasing things I've ever seen .

Please pass these on to your DD Yogagirl and my sadness for her loss. What a terrible shock for you all.

SO sorry dear Yogagirl about the way your cards and poem were returned; they never fail to disappoint do they . We keep hoping for something, any thing but we never get it do we, as the following will demonstrate.

Day before our long trip no sooner had we arrived at a wild life park we had to leave and head for the hospital. My darling hubby was having very bad chest pains, his face was pale and tears were running down his face. We feared the worst but thank God it wasn't his heart but a severe panic/anxiety attack. Although we were told that prolonged periods of emotional trauma can result in 'sad heart syndrome' where the heart muscle can be damaged, they assured us his heart is fine.

Thought about you dearCelebgran and all the health worries you've had and never once being contacted by your d. Our s didn't fail to disappoint us either. NS 'phoned him to tell him his father was in the hospital and what his symptoms were (before we knew he was going to be OK). Told us his bro was shocked and asked to be 'kept posted' . He didn't bother to send his dad an email or text wishing him well . And it goes with out saying hasn't bothered to send a message saying he's glad or happy or relieved that he's OK.

Of course, if we hadn't knows ds had 'phoned his bro we would have been none the wiser and spared the awful truth which is he simply doesn't give a damn.

So, as far as that goes, if I do change my name upon my return Ashmore it's not going to be the one I'd foolishly hoped it would be. Sounds as if you've got a better counsellor I do hope she can give you some much needed support and comfort. Whatever the reasons why we're deprived of our gc the pain is still the same and what we all want and deserve is justice. Keeping every thing crossed that all goes ahead with your house sale and purchase. Try to be patient just a little while longer; it'll be well worth it I'm sure.

Well, sorry for the extremely long post ladies . Good to see that you are all well and coping as best you can. That's all any of us can do isn't it. Here's some Ozy to brighten your day. Best wishes.

Hope you all survived Lent, I gave up alcohol so made up for it on Monday after work.... Pushed the boats out with a Baileys or two...

So sorry for your loss Yoga girl, not nice when things come out of the blue. :'o( , having said that waiting for the inevitable is no way either. Hope you have some happy memories to treasure.
Celeb gran, your 'spiel' sounds intriguing. The living bereavement is the bit my first counsellor worked round.... Though she was not vey experienced with an Adoption saga...
However hopefully my new counsellor is going to be Good news. The only thing good I have ever got from the RCN, they found me a counsellor who was an adoption team manager at a SS in the north west. I am really excited, and it proves there are some good SW out there, just not in Surrey! She has given me food for thought after our last session where we discussed what I 'needed' from our sessions. My first comment was revenge, her comment was to see it as justice!

Still have not completed on this stupid house move and so close to calling it all off, another example of cutting my nose off ...at this late stage. Hopefully now on Monday, but if sooner you will not have to be told here!!! The whole of England will know! It may even resonate through the earth to Oz!

Hope you are having a good time down under Smileless and perhaps a name change on your return.....
The Little great neice conjures up all sorts of memories! Sort of an oxymoron. There are only two 'deputy' sisters at our hospital, me being one of them, mainly due to us having younger 'senior' sisters and we do not feel 'comfortable' being their older 'junior' !! It's getting late, perhaps I should go to bed!

Hi all do hope smileless is doing well I. Oz we. to heard lately!
How are yogagirl after sad shock and death on Easter Sunday .

I can't attach things but just read very good spiel on Our situation.

Will try and put some of it when feeling clever. It is response to people who say move on ! On lines of having lost a child and grandchild is like living bereavement with. No closure. Is very good.

On cheerful note spent lovely afternoon with my little great niece it is her first birthday next week and we are invited! She is shy and tearful for few minutes then absolutely fine, such a sweetie.

Hope libra chick ok not heard for ages,

Oh gosh yogagirl what a shock! How old was your father I. Law? Wonder what it was.

Oh dear sad to have tragedy o . Day full hope.

Missing not seeing my son this Easter. But must not be selfish he just got back from America on business and away again shortly.

Meal was lovely thanks yogagirl. My old friend can be very rude to waitresses unfortunately we were politely asked if would mind moving before we had been served, as table 5 had be fitted in tiny restaurant, waitress so pleasant but my friend made awful fuss!m we were offered free drinks, sweet or bottle wine to make it right !
Cancelled seeing them tomorrow now, don't feel that great and we just want try unwind and relaxl
yogagirl and maybe?
Hope still having fun smileless x

Happy Easter Sunday Girls

So sorry Ashmore for your terrible situation, I hope you can still get to see your beloved GD , you might need a little tonight too!
Smileless hope your still getting all those lovely cuddles from your DS. Can't you find a little cubbie hole for your hubby to practice his whistle in
Thanks for the hugs, I certainly need them Celebgran hope you enjoyed your meal out.

Well I was going to meet up with my ND after my morning Yoga today, but tragedy took over! My ND f.i.l passed away this morning, he had been to hospital the week before complaining of stomach pains and they sent him away saying it was indigestion! He felt unwell again yesterday and went to bed, his wife Linda realized something was wrong and called an ambulance, two and half hours later he was taken to hospital and died!! Same thing happened to my dear Dad, I took him to hospital, they said it was just an infection, kept him in and then when I phoned the next day to hear how he was, they told me he was dead!! Such a shock when it happens like that, out of the blue. My dear Mum died on Easter Sunday too, so we are all feeling very sad today
Hope you all enjoy the rest of the Easter Holidays

Yogagirl that's horrid nasty thing to do sending that back like that! big hugs to you .

So glad you enjoyed some quality time with Nice d.

We just had meal out with Tor. Godparents and wine helped!
We seeing them again Monday which will be nice, picnic if good weather drinks so ours if not!

Quiet day together tomorrow.

Try keep yogagirl. Not easy.
Good hear from you ashmore sorry negative about your little grandchild.

Happy Easter to everyone, I have been kept hard at work and come home and need to go straight to bed, so no laptop time for me. The house move hopefully will be exchange on Tuesday and Complete by the 1 or 2 May. Then to look to a new chapter. Get through to the next court case and hopefully put the last two years behind us.
My new counsellor got through the RCN was an adoption SW for 30 years and can't believe what has happened to our family at hands of local SW teams. It only goes to make me hope I can move forward to ensure those responsible pay for what they have done. If only someone would acknowledge my concerns. None of it will go towards any future with our Grandaughter who will soon be permanently with her new adopting 'mother'. It seems such a young child going to a single parent is a sign of getting the deed done before anyone can find fault. Only to make me determined to make sure someone, anyone is punished. I constantly have to remind myself it could be worse. At least mine is a legal spiteful rather than family spiteful.....

I thought we were promised a nice Easter break..... I am sitting in my office freezing, the sun may be shining but it is so cold!0

Seems it is a mixed bag of good and bad since I was last here.

HAPPY EASTER
Well I sent the Easter card to my darling GC, with poem for my D on Weds, on Thursday, when I got in from my work, it had been posted back all ripped up!, I'd put in the card "Love, hugs & Kisses (wish they could be for real)"
Spent the day with my friend yesterday, we went to church in the morning, then coffee & Hot cross buns, nice walk in the country, then lunch with a little bubbly , I then popped in to see my ND&partner as they lived near, gave them their Easter Eggs, my ND painted my nails with gel, looks great. Then James gave me a fire juggling & fire eating demo! I stood well back (His an entertainer) So had a nice day yesterday
Well enjoy your Easter girls, not too much chocolate now! must dash, Yoga calls love the bunnies xx

Very happy Easter to all of us and for you smileless all way off in oz
Hope we all have some fun this weekend

Nippy here in frinton and we have posh new tv delivered yesterday. Very impressive.

Also we out tonight with our daughters godparents steak bottle wine deal nice pub should be good.

Happy Easter to us all x

G'day ladies and a very happy Easter to you all . Another lovely day in Oz.

Hubby bought a bird song whistle for a mate which is supposed to sound like a Kookaburra, well it did when the bloke who sold it to us blew, when hubby gives it a go it sounds more like a duck in pain . Trouble is he reckons he'll have to get some practice in, in order to perfect it; not sure I'll be able to stand that.

Glad you'll be keeping yourself busy this weekend Yogagirl and have some socialising to look forward too, even though you wont be seeing any family which always makes it harder.

Good to know I managed to make you smile Celebgran , this bunnyitis must be catching, hardly surprising though as they're rather sweet aren't they.

The two best things about this trip are beginning each day with a hug from our DS and ending each day with another hug and 'see you tomorrow'; if only the rest of our tomorrows could begin and end the same way.

So much easier living with the situation when we can see our DS as we are doing now; so much harder when we're at home and he is so far away .

for all my gransnet friends. Whatever you're doing, have a lovely weekend.

Morning Girls
How lovely, holding a Koala & seeing Kangaroos, you lucky thing you Smileless Hope you enjoyed your meal with your NS. I just got the Easter cards out of the cupboard & the poem to send, then saw your comment Smileless, so not sure wither to send now, as I think you're right.
I think my nasty s.i.l has purposely got my D hooked on cocain & pot due to my saying the situation is all down to his drug addiction, he is so evil he would have thought 'right I'll get her D hooked, so that the drug addict is then her D!', my D being in a terrible state when this first started, would have been easy to persued that it would make her feel better!!!
Oh Celebgran sorry to hear your sad & no reply from your D, it's a family time of year Easter, so hightens our emotions. I always did an Easter egg hunt, even though my C are all grown up & of course the last few with my little darling GC, but nothing this year I have got nice eggs for my ND & her partner, she gave me mine yesterday & little nice gift too, so I'll not be seeing any family over the Easter hols, but then I do work right through as normal, I'll no doubt meet up with friends & I'm out this Friday & Saturday evening & next week as well, then Thursday after my yoga class I'm dashing to a friends surprise b/day 'do', so got things to look forward to. Rather it would have been a nice family BBQ or family Easter dinner though, really miss all that

Omg how fantastic to hold a koala! And see kangaroos, exactly the kinda fun things you need

I got bunnyitis!

Smileless you managed make me smile today when have had weepy one !
Yes is so to try again and be knocked back again.

Never mind keep smiling, and do enjoy that meal smileless!

So great to still hear from you all that way.m

G'day ladies. Another day of down under in Oz and another lovely day with our DS. He's coming round to our place this evening to cook us a meal. Our dil works long hours so we wont be seeing her tonight. He is a fab cook and it's a treat to be so well looked after by him.

Held a Koala today they're soooo cute and very soft; it's like holding a baby. Also fed some kangaroos, yes I know typical tourist behavior when in Oz but impossible to resist.

I know I'm a long way from you all but you are here with me in my heart and prayers, especially you Yogagirl and Celebgran. Of course you must do what you feel best Yogagirl but after her terrible treatment of you just the other day, I would advise against it. She's obviously not ready to receive it in the manner in which it would be sent and you may find she uses it as an excuse for more disgraceful behavior. What ever you decide of course I wish you well.

We've all said it so many times Celebgran that we're damned if we do and damned if we don't. The trouble is that even though we tell ourselves that we don't expect to get a positive result when we try and make contact, that's precisely what we're hoping for and it's so painful when we're rejected once again.

(you're so right about the bunnies Yogagirl) for all my dear virtual friends on this thread. Stay safe and keep strong.

Best wishes

Oh yogagirl only infowar upset you I feel bit tearful today think cos we didn't go yesterday and she doesn't seem care about her dad accident, so sending Tor that card only upset me more, damned if we do and damned if we don't, really is hard.

Not suprised rest family disgusted is no way to behave.

Our son home thurs but off to Quatar end April then we away so will be little while. Had 3 texts from Washington bless him.
Do you find feel so lonely now without her as she was one who saw us more, but with daughters it's different isn't it.
Have good day today and smileless hope you having fantastic time still.

Thank you Celebgran and you're lucky you have such a good S, he is not in America long, so you'll see him again soon. When my ND goes away, I feel terrible, but don't let on to her. The whole of our family are disgusted with Jenni, her bad language in front of her little C & on FB, they have all blocked her! Do I send the Easter card with poem now??
just wanted to put some bunny's on, as they are so cute