...to be glad when the weekend is over?

Galen - it's the other way round in our family. I'm the only veggie but I do cook roasts for the rest of the family if they are around. Yesterday, DH, DD2 and SiL were painting the house so I did them a roast chicken for when they called it a day. In my own kitchen I can do it standing on my head, but in DD2's it was a lot harder, plus watching 3yr old DGD at the same time. Makes me think back to when the family were all at home, plus my mum and step-father, making eight of us every week. Happy days.

Since DH died I rarely bother to cook a roast either, Galen. I do miss it.

We normally have roast meat of some sort and make it last two or three days. Tonight I am making curry with yesterday's pot roast veal and Saturday's left over escalivada from the barbecue.

As all the family except me seem to be veggies, and I'm usually on my own, I really can't remember when I last had a roast dinner?

jingl sticking the easy-to-cook joint in the oven is the easy bit - getting all the other bits ready and hot at the same time is what I find stressful.
So we only have a roast dinner if any of the DCs are there, and then it's usually in the evening.
But I like the main meal in the middle of the day in some ways, as the rest if the day then seems more relaxed, as the thought of cooking the big meal isn't looming over me.

Soutra and Deedaa I don't know what to say as I'm not in that position, yet. Is there no one who can take over care duties and give you a break?

Does anyone else still cook Sunday roast dinner at midday? Even if it's just the two of us I still get a little easy-to-cook joint and cook it up with all the trimmings. Makes Sunday special. And it's enjoyable! (the eating)

And then have Sunday tea, with cake.

Since I no longer work, I love Mondays. i go to a Pilates class and catch up with my friend. It sets me up for the week. Saturday night tv is very poor, so I prefer week days for tv.

Could you plan special actiivities for weekends? I have Sew Sundays. I usually do little bits of sewing and knitting as and when I can during the week but Sunday afternoon is my afternoon for having a good run at big projects. I am currently making a quilt with some applique work on it and on Sunday afternoon the living room furniture is pushed to the corners so that I can spread it on the floor and do work on it.

Not everybody sews but most people have something they do that could be made an indulgent whole or half day activity kept specially for weekends. Even just sitting in comfort and giving a whole half day to reading novels, is a way of differentiating weekends and making hem indulgently special.

I suspect that for some people just telling their DH that Sunday belongs to them and although they are in the house, they intend to devote it to their own activities and that DH will have to look to himself for the day might be difficult and may be the first step forward. He will have to make his own mid-morning/afternoon coffee, possibly fix his own lunch. Could be the start of a whole new world.

Soutra
I know several men , now retired that seem to sink into apathy about going out. I have a friend who when she suggests going somewhere [just for a wander about and a coffee] says 'what for?' These men are all able bodied as well! However, if they go with you [and seem unhappy] then it's hardly fun is it?My Dh is always ready for a jaunt out somewhere[probably more than me] but as he is still working [long after retirement age] he does like to rest/garden/watch rugby at the week-end, or see the DGC now and then.So, my week-ends are not very special either.Your husband isn't very well which impacts on both of you doesn't it?Still, wishing you a fun week-end seems a bit strange, it's probably something your DD says to all her friends!Once the weather is nicer [from now on?] promise yourself something that you like either on Sat or Sun, a walk, shopping, or visiting a museum/gallery etc. I like doing all those things by myself as I can take all the time I want.I also like sitting in a sunny spot and reading poetry [which I need quiet for.]I really don't think that any of our children understand [did we, when we were younger?]

Oh shoot me now.

Mind you, it never works out as bad as I think it will.

Hey ho. Pull your finger out (me) and clean out the grate. And wash up. And Change the bed. And get the washing on. You know, like you did last Monday. And the one before....

Now Monday I don't like. Never really want to take it on.

Soutra re. NT houses. If you plan in advance you can hire a buggy at many of their properties. I am restricted at the moment as to how far I can walk. Last Monday I had a lovely day out at Stowe and DD2 enjoyed driving the buggy around the grounds.

My DH is a volunteer for the National Trust too. It has been the making of
him since he retired (and consequently the making of me also)

Soutra, I really do feel for you- but perhaps you could get used to short outings and maybe lengthen a tad slowly. Just go for a nice walk, or a garden or even garden centre- does not have to be anything grand. But, unless your OH is at risk during short absences (a couple of hours)- it's very important that you allocate yourself some 'me' time. Otherwise the OH's 'I don't like being alone but I won't go out' can turn into a bit of 'blackmail' and lead to resentment. Much better for you to 'take' time for yourself and come back refreshed and relaxed. I am fully aware that that can be VERY difficult if he is used to you accepting the status quo.

Much harder for Deeda if husband cannot be left alone for medical reasons- but even then- maybe someone could come in to be with him for a couple of hours from time to time to give you some time for yourself. Again, hard if you've never put your foot down before illness re you either sharing outings, or insisting that you go alone or with friends- if he does not want share with you. But it is never too late- go and enjoy a few hours, even on your own- and come back ready to face the world.

Monday isn't much more exciting here. OH has just gone on a 30km round trip because yesterday he dropped a tiny bolt from the ride-on mower battery and hadn't got another. None of the local shops open on Monday and a lot of the larger DiY stores only on Monday afternoon.
This is the downside of the much-praised French work / life balance. A lot of other shops are shut for the two weeks of half-term, so everyone can go skiing. I shall do some more housework.
Glad you are feeling better Soutra.

On reflection and after a good night's sleep I think it boils down to expectations. These can be changed. Anyway thank you for letting me get that off my chest!
It's Monday -hurray!!

Living in the middle of nowhere, we also mainly use Sundays for doing the housework. The shops are all shut and there are no events at all in winter. Actually, there aren't many in summer either and the excitement of the local version of car boot sales soon wears off. We do get to Skype to "see" the grandchildren on Sunday and as the hunting season has finished now, I can safely go out for a walk.
The compensation this weekend has been blue skies, non-stop sunshine, the tiny wild daffodils, the bleating of lambs and sitting outside feeling the warmth of the sun on my face.
I am naturally active and gregarious, but I think living here has taught me a lot about how to use my time when there is nothing on offer apart from my own resources. On the days when it does get to me, I have found that only intense physical activity is helpful in keeping me (relatively) cheerful.
I do feel for you though Soutra and others living with partners with chronic ill-health. Must be really hard.

Please spare a thought for us working grandmas. I love my weekends away from "the dreaded place" I am always very busy with family and I try to do most of my housework then too but I still love the fact that I am away from the stress of work. Only trouble is weekends are programmed to be shorter days than weekdays I am sure of it.

Mollie weekends are different as I have the GC most weekdays. So they are my 'days off'.

I find sometimes that weekends are a good time to 1. do the cleaning, thus leaving the week completely clear (not every weekend you understand... just when it really needs it) and 2. Make a huge batch of food that will allow me to not cook on several weeknights (great big pasta bake for instance - mince, pasta shapes, sprinkling of cheese, less faff and less fattening than lasagne, re-heats well; or a big vat of soup)
Soutra I'm sure there are people out there who would love your company on a weekend. Since moving here I have found it easier to meet potential friends who are not in a couple - mostly through choir.
If you wanted to volunteer - the Cowper museum? Or helping at church? Or join U3a and start your own group on a Satruday or Sunday. I happen to know that a u3a near you always has a waiting list for book groups but short of people to organise them (for instance). I go to one u3a group, once a month, which is very low maintenance. We meet in a quiet hotel bar in the morning. We choose a theme and then look for poems on the theme (either old favourites or ones we have not read before) and then we turn up, get a coffee, and read out poems out. We don't discuss them. It is rather relaxing. All group leader needs to do is email everyone to remind them of theme. And any basic admin that u3a requires.
Just remembered that it is Monday (not Sunday) and therefore it is poetry today!!!

Don't all shout at once but why are weekends any different to any of the other five days of the week if you are home all the time?

I'm home all the time so every day seems the same to me too and to be honest I'm happy to hibernate during the weekend to avoid the crowds and much prefer doing things during the week when the workers are tucked away at their desks.

Didn't the Dowager Lady Downton (whatever her name was) ask 'what are weekends" in the first series?

I hate weekends too, now I am alone. My late husband took early retirement partly because there was so much he wanted to do. I'm fairly busy during the week and am always upbeat on Mondays.

Soutra I haven't really enjoyed weekends since we had the children.
Before that, in student days and young professional days, we would go away for the weekend, or it would be party time.
When the children were little, the weekends still revolved round MrA's sailing, which wasn't too bad, but once I went back to work full time, the weekends were a nightmare of trying to cram in all the jobs related to both work and home, and when the kids were in their teens, seemed to be totally taken up with hockey matches, sailing events, and Guiding or DofE stuff.
I stopped having dinner parties in 1993.
If we did go away for the weekend either to visit DM or DMiL, it would take me a fortnight to catch up.
Unfortunately that mindset has stayed with me. The week days feel like days when I can do nice things, and the weekend feels like a drag, usually.
I think it's worse when you imagine that everyone else is having a great time. MrA dislikes New Year's Eve, so usually we don't do anything, although for the sake of accuracy, we did last year.
My misery at not going out is compounded by the thought that everyone else is having a marvellous time and we are a pair of Billy No-Mateses.