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demanding husband

(67 Posts)
Hermia46 Tue 06-May-14 09:28:49

My husband is driving me potty! - he is retired, as I am I, but whereas I am more than happy with my own company, hobbies and pastimes and don't expect constant attention, he seems unable to do anything without approval. Barely downstairs this morning post shower when it was 'come and have a look at this on the pc' 6.30 am!! When all I want is my breakfast and a cup of tea! How do I get him to stop this childish demanding behaviour ? It is making me very grumpy ...can't seen icon for grumpy!!

Bunch Thu 08-May-14 16:59:27

Does anyone have another half who asks 'who's that from?' as soon as/every time your mobile pings with a text? Or who looks over your shoulder when you are reading/writing emails (not at the moment needles to say!). Frankly I find it hugely annoying and, although this sounds harsh, an invasion of my privacy. Solutions welcomed!

granjura Thu 08-May-14 18:02:43

All I can say is that I am extremely lucky- pheew- would drive me absolutely potty too. My dad was lovely, but also needed constant attention and approval from my mum- and it drove her nuts. She would be reading or playing the piano, etc- and he would constantly ask her to pass him something, come and admire any little job he had done, or even a lettuce in the garden- etc.

jeanie99 Thu 08-May-14 18:23:04

It's not possible to alter our husbands.

After 44 years I've given up even thinking about it.

But then he isn't going to get me to change my ways either.

The things that do annoy are when he try's to tell me how to cook or do something else that I have been doing before I even met him.

granjura Thu 08-May-14 18:26:54

44 years together here too smile

Ariadne Thu 08-May-14 18:32:42

I am quite lucky, I think; we both have our own interests and a big shared one, so we don't get on top of one another. He is still very busy.

But I have noticed recently, as I recover from the knee op, that he can't retain more than tow requests, and has to come back and sy "What was the other thing?"

I have posted this before, but it is a) funny and ?) true!

But he is looking after me so well! (The new cleaner starts tomorrow..)

Agus Thu 08-May-14 18:37:32

When I had had enough of DH 'advising' me how to run a home and raise children I reminded him that, as he couldn't remember what he had for lunch the day before, he hadn't a hope in hell of remembering his lack of input for the last 40 years when I would have appreciated more help but, guess what, I managed it all regardless smile

Nonu Thu 08-May-14 19:39:04

43 and a half here !


granjura Thu 08-May-14 19:44:13

A shame Ariadne LOL ;)

Agus Thu 08-May-14 20:51:46

I should add though, this was when DH first retired and we eventually got used to working together with both of us at home all day.

I couldn't have had better care as DH took over and looked after me as I have been housebound for 8 weeks due to an accident.

Galen Thu 08-May-14 21:55:52

Widowed for 11 on 23/5/14

Penstemmon Thu 08-May-14 22:12:07

flowers for you Galen.

Elegran Thu 08-May-14 22:13:18

May is a hard month for you, Galen flowers

Mine is April, but we first met on May 5th, which we remembered as an anniversary as much as our wedding day. We did not make our golden wedding, but we did celebrate together after 50 years from our first meeting.

"April is the cruellest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead earth"
"I had not thought death had undone so many."

harrigran Thu 08-May-14 22:47:50

We have been together 51 years and it is our 47th wedding anniversary this Autumn. That is an awful long time to be doing housework and I didn't realise until DH retired that I had been doing it wrong all those years grin

Deedaa Thu 08-May-14 22:52:40

I have always done most of the decorating in our house because DH was often away or working nights. NOW I am forbidden to do any painting or papering because I don't know how to do it !!!

Agus Thu 08-May-14 23:01:35

Galen and Elegran flowers

Fairhair Fri 09-May-14 03:17:43

My partner at the moment....and I'm not sure for how long .... hmm just woke me a moment ago with a loud snore! Now I'm awake. I'm here to mention his disease of stating the obvious! I have eyes! Maybe he should find him a vision impaired partner...he'd be doing her a service I don't need!

kittylester Fri 09-May-14 07:39:03

Galen and Elegran flowers. Nice to see you Galen

I'd call that a result Deedaa!

Luckily DH still works part time and spends quite a bit of time in his study. I'm not looking forward to that state of affairs changing!

NfkDumpling Fri 09-May-14 07:56:48

They've spent a lifetime going to work and being 'important' so it's not surprising retired hubbies flounder a little. Mine, after a week or two of aimlessness, took over the cooking. Delia and Mary are his best mates. But I'm not jealous. To start with recipes were followed slavishly and I did the puddings, but now I never know what wonderful concoction will arrive before me and he's branching out into puddings. I still do cakes to get my rare baking fix.
The best part is that it means he does the food shopping too! And cleans out the freezer! I am blessed! smile

Nonu Fri 09-May-14 08:07:42



Penstemmon Fri 09-May-14 10:03:09

NFK I have spent a lifetime going to work and beingquite important but I am certain I am not irritating or annoying in any way! hmm

Ariadne Fri 09-May-14 10:13:02

Me too, Pentstemmon! I am mellow and tolerant and generous about other people's faults. Giving orders is not in my nature. No one would ever know that I had been a --stroppy cow--Assistant Head in a big comprehensive! grin

Pigs flying emoticon......

Aka Fri 09-May-14 10:20:34

grin and wink

NfkDumpling Sat 10-May-14 08:25:41

Pentstemmon - I should have been more specific - I'm sure there are many like you who have such an active life that retirement was a relief as work was getting too much in the way of all your other activities!

However, there are many - usually men, as women do still tend to do most of the routine house chores - who find themselves with nothing, absolutely nothing to do and no role once they retire. I'm constantly surprised that, even with retirement courses available, many people enter retirement with no preparation for this next stage in their lives.

jeanie99 Fri 16-May-14 00:23:37

We both have our own interests and thank goodness for that.

Having never had an interest in gardening my husband mows the lawn as his contribution and know nothing about plants at all.

Today he very annoyingly said I had planted a shrub when I pointed out that it had been put in by the previous owners he said I must have forgotten, I could have choked him.

GrannyHaggis Fri 16-May-14 18:12:39

When OH first retired he got up at his usual going to work time and would hang out the washing for me. I was by then settled into retirement and didn't get up until later! I used to cringe at how he'd hung things up, using 4 pegs when 2 would do etc. I showed him how to do it properly and though, it's still a mess when he does it I've given up moaning, because at least he does it and is helping? me in his own funny way! Now, if I could get him to tackle the ironing, that really would be a bonus!!