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As DD said 'There are no words'

(18 Posts)
ninathenana Tue 06-May-14 15:02:47

I know I'm not being unreasonable. Just wasn't sure where else to put this.
SiL was off yesterday and goes back to work Friday. DD had to leave home at 8.00 am today. She got DGSx2 up gave them breakfast and left the 5yr old dressing himself. School starts at 8.40 and is a five minute walk away. SiL was laying in bed but awake.
She got home at 11am youngest still in PJs and wet nappy angry Oldest was late for school, he won't admit how late ! (DD will find out when she does pick up) He'd obviously chucked youngest in the buggy as he was.

What a useless father male he is ggggrrrrr !

mrshat Tue 06-May-14 15:07:00

Yes - there are no words! So tough for your daughter - hugs to her x

kittylester Tue 06-May-14 15:10:34

Yep nina, there are no words. As mrshat said, tough for your daughter but tough for you too! flowers

Aka Tue 06-May-14 15:27:03

Totally useless.

Strong words are called (from your DD) for then perhaps he'll redeem himself for the rest of the week.

Agus Tue 06-May-14 15:27:41

What a waster. Your poor DD. I can't believe he was lying awake and just left her to get on with it for starters never mind what followed.

ninathenana Tue 06-May-14 15:32:37

Exactly what I said to DH Agus This is just typical of him. As DD says she might as well be a single parent !

Soutra Tue 06-May-14 17:05:15

There are words but I'd get deleted. Seriously when she has calmed down he needs to be made to understand he is a grown up man with responsibilities angry for you.

tiggypiro Tue 06-May-14 17:59:45

My neice has 3 children to cope with - they are 3, 5 and 42

POGS Tue 06-May-14 19:22:14

It really get's you doesn't it ninathenan.

I am sorry to say tiggypiro summed up my daughter's marriage. She too had two children, one 7 years old the other 37.

They are now in the process of divorcing. sad

annsixty Tue 06-May-14 19:37:10

And my DD. We should form a club.Divorce isn't on the cards at the moment but in my eyes it cannot come soon enough.

rosesarered Tue 06-May-14 20:15:52

I doubt that saying anything will help.If he is as bad in all other areas, then maybe it's time for your DD to have a think about her life.If she is generally happy with him, then leave well alone.

rosequartz Tue 06-May-14 20:33:39

It is very unfair on the children as well, the older one would be very unhappy at being late for school (or else just learn bad habits from his father) and the younger one wet and miserable.

Is he going to change - that is the question.

ninathenana Tue 06-May-14 21:48:22

I can't see him changing. They've been together 10yrs married 8yrs and always been the same. I think she's be better off without him. But I think she's scared. I don't know her true feelings for him.

Mishap Tue 06-May-14 22:12:05

How very difficult for you nina - we have no control over who our DDs choose to marry and it must be a huge worry when they do not come up to scratch.

I am so blessed with 3 good lads who have married my DDs - all very different, but all honest, caring in their own ways, and good fathers. These posts make me count my blessings.

ninathenana Wed 07-May-14 13:29:35

I won't go into detail but todays situation is even worse angry I had a chat with DD and she admitted that finance and the fact DGSx2 are so young are why for now the only reason she stays sad
The only good thing in all this is he's never violent or cruel, just unthinking, uncaring, and bone idle!!

mcem Wed 07-May-14 13:56:46

Nina we've been there. DD'S escape was made easier because when she admitted that she was at the stage your DD is now she was persuaded to open a secret bank account to which we contributed too. Discreet online househunting found a house to rent and when she was ready, with help from bank of parents plus housing benefit, she did it! I suppose much depends on the rental market locally and realise that it may not be possible everywhere. Very heartfelt best wishes.

ninathenana Wed 07-May-14 15:07:35

Thank you mcem

kittylester Wed 07-May-14 18:47:00

As some of you know, we have a 'situation' which has resulted in DD3 staying here with her two tinies.

I so agree with Mishap's comment about choosing our children's partners. DDs 1 and 2 chose well and have fine partners and fathers but never in a hundred years would we have chosen 'the idiot' for DD3. sad

DS2's wife was a disaster but luckily they had no children. He is with a lovely woman now and has two stepchildren to whom he is a good father.

On the other hand, we loved DD1's wife and thought she was wonderful - she turned out to be made of straw and abandoned him when things got tough.

So, it's probably best that they make their own mistakes!

flowers for anyone who is suffering like this at the moment!!