Does my bum look big in this?

No, don't answer that! We al know there are some questions to which only men the foolish would hazard an answer. Other examples might be "What do you think of my new boyfriend?" "Isn't (s)he a gorgeous baby/dog/anteater? " "It's OK to bring my dog /budgie/MIL isn't it?"
However......
I maintain that is you ask a question you have to be prepared to hear an answer. If you ask for an honest opinion, don't be surprised to hear it even if you don't agree with it and if you are not prepared to hear then do not ask.
We probably do try to be tactful, but when a thread title asks a question, why do some OPs take such exception to hearing an answer?
Discussion is about different sides to an issue., different opinions and a question asking for advice may result in suggestions. I would not expect it to result in a barrage of PMs referring to oneself as an "evil bitch" (you know who you are) and accusations of being mean because I have a sh*t life myself.
So to the member who has now barred me from replying I would just reiterate sorry, repeat, as you dismiss long words as "gibberish" - if you ask a question, don't be surprised to get an answer. And if I "do not know what you are going through" that might be because all I have to go on is what you have said in your posts.