Why do I have such a DIL?

Yes, I have and the police. Child and youth services here and no one will take action until an actual documented harm has befallen the child.

I almost posted that I am glad that you did not make it up - but then I realised that would mean that I am glad that the boy has been ill-treated, and of course I am not!

Have you contacted your state Child Protection Agency? At least they would know that a concern has been raised, and would be on the alert for any more trouble.

I do not feel the need to defend myself but I do feel the need to explain some items. I have contacted every place that I could, no one will do anything-yes, hard to believe but it is true. I am just a grandmother calling with hear say information. I have no proof other than the 5 year old telling me about the teeth pulling and my son saying it was true. Now, with that said. My son has no intention of turning on his father-in-law and the 5 year old will not tattle to an unknown authority figure if "mommy" tells him not to.
You all meant well, but do not seem to understand how it works here. If the police, social services etc were to approach my son and dil without actual proof, then they (the police) are violating the parents rights and they could be sued. It is a dangerous game being played here. The child is the one that suffers.
I picked this forum because people seemed to care, a lot here yes, some not so much. I did not even realize it was in the UK.
I do appreciate all the advice and like I said I have his teacher watching him and others
...if anything happens then I have another person and more proof that the authorities should not be able to argue with.
If anyone on here thinks that this is easy for me, you are sadly mistaken.
I wish I could just make something happen, but I can't. No one can will something to happen. I am sure everyone knows of something they wish they could change but are powerless to do so.
And, I am real. I did not make anything up.
I want to thank all that were helpful. May your troubles ease and your lives become better.

Pulling a 5yeear olds teeth out with pliers is abuse. Tell social services or nspcc

for your Sugarpuffairy. I should be shocked by your post but I'm not because how many times do we hear on the news about some poor helpless child who eventually dies at the hands of their abusers because all of the people who should have seen what was happening failed to act.

I expect you were glad that your fears were proved as I'm assuming that this removed your DGC from the danger they were facing.

I hope the original poster msmac reads your post I'm sure she will be comforted by the knowledge that she is not the only one being ignored; it may also give her hope that things will be sorted eventually.

I hope that your DGC are now safe and receiving the love and care they deserve.

Hi
It is not always easy to get Social Services to take appropriate action. I spent 4.5 years telling them about my eldest 2 DGC. They just would not listen until there was nearly a fatality. When I ask why I was not listened to they turned on me and made out I was a pest. They also claimed that I was glad when it was proved that my DGC had been in danger. I am now in the position of not having any faith in those whose job it is to take action when children are in trouble.
Sugarpufffairy

If we all have to give our email address to register it is possible that these could be used to trace a poster but given the general confidentiality rules that would be unethical.

However these restrictions on confidentiality can lifted where there are allegations of serious crime.

She asked what to do, and she was given the right advice by many people - contact the appropriate authorities. She was even given the contacts to report it. If she can find this forum to post to, she can report this to the phone numbers of the local state Child Protection Services on the list.

There is also the possibility (I am saying this carefully so as not to give offence, but let us be realistic) that she was seeing more than was actually happening, for one reason or another.

I don't think GN, or any of us, can do any more. She does not give any clue to where in the US she lives. GN may be able to match her PC to one which was used by another poster, but they cannot find her name and address. If they could, any organisation could find any name and address from our posts, and trace any one of us.

I was wondering, too, why she chose this site. Surely they must have similar chat forums in the US?

That's how it must be, of course. Complete anonymity. I wonder if the OP has consulted other forums for advice?

They can't do that every time there's a post about possible or suspected child abuse. Especially not when it's happened in another country.

Plus, it could deter posters from asking for advice in case they get 'reported'.

I'm as concerned as everyone else about the boy in this sad story - just being realistic.

Is this a possibility? If only it could be?

Maybe Gransnet HQ should be reporting it. There must be ways of tracing where a post has come from.

Msmac I am totally appalled, as no doubt you are, that your dear grandson has had to endure his teeth being pulled out by pliers and been beaten by his grandfather. This is blatant child abuse and needs to be reported before worse happens. You will see your grandson again but the price you may have to pay in the meantime, in order to protect him, is that he may have to be taken to a place of safety. All it takes for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing. I am horrified. Please be brave and strong for his sake. He will thank you.

From the earlier post about the dentist:

'the teeth pulling was prior to starting Kindergarten-happened last month. His mother had just taken him to the dentist and so no new visit coming up.'

Seems the child has visited the dentist. Perhaps informing the dentist that the relative has since removed teeth with pliers will result in some support from police and child protection services, too.

48million without health care which I suppose isn't a lot but if the DIL didn't want a boy she might not have him covered for dentistry. Notoriously expensive in the US.

It costs money to go to the dentist in the US . Probably why the tooth pulling was home done. Health care in the US is money driven . Rural areas often don't have any doctors or dentists on hand. Mind you not been to any conferences in the US for a while. But it is slow to change.

They're behind us - 5 hours on east coast to about 9/10 hours on the west coast, so it's lunchtime or afternoon there now. USA child protecton services are world leaders and would react rapidly to a complaint about a child's teeth being removed by pliers. That urgent phone call is more important than a grandparent's contact and needs doing now, if it hasn't already been done.

I think there's a time difference of 7 hours between UK and USA - can't remember if they're in front or behind us.

How awful. I hope so much that this really isn't true.

Apologies for any suggestion this may be a windup now more information available,as I am typing the page is changing so quickly with more details,I did think earlier on this could be US and in the more rural of areas.

Disturbing.

I was just reflecting that is about an hour since msmac last posted. Perhaps she is on the phone to her state Child Protection Srvice.

Soutra You are on the right track certainly not UK and I do think we are being played here somewhat and if we are not then a little man is in serious trouble and his nanna should have authorities involved straight away.

Are you still there msmac?