Gransnet forums


to think it's remarkable how little traffic there is on the AIBU board here compared to mumsnet...

(53 Posts)
FishWithABicycle Sat 11-Oct-14 05:21:58

Mumsnet refugee here, having a browse to while away a spot of insomnia. It's just struck me as now noticeable that the "am I being unreasonable?" board has very few threads that have been added to in the last 48 hours.

On mumsnet AIBU is one of the busiest parts of the site, loads of threads started for people to express their emotions on their latest frustration in their lives, loads of people willing to weigh in and give their advice and opinions and/or tell the op to woman-up and stop being a drama queen.

So, do gransnetters have fewer difficult situations in their lives to deal with than mumsnetters? Or do they have fewer doubts about whether they are being unreasonable? Or are they just less willing to share their frustrations with the forum?

pompa Sat 11-Oct-14 06:18:34

I guess, as we get older, we mellow and let things wash over us more. Could not having children at home be a factor ?

thatbags Sat 11-Oct-14 07:07:26

Fewer doubts. Experience telling you you are not being unreasonable. Less willing to share the embarassment of actually having bloody-minded family members. Being willing to kick arse when someone or something annoys you.

A little bit of mellowing, as pompa says.

And gransnet is smaller than mumsnet.

kittylester Sat 11-Oct-14 07:11:48

What bags said! sunshine

nocoolnamesleft Sat 11-Oct-14 07:20:02

Well that's disappointing. I was hoping that a little later in life I'd not be posting on AIBU because I would be revelling in knowing I was unreasonable. And now you tell me it isn't like that??!?! <<sob>>

pompa Sat 11-Oct-14 07:43:20

Think yourself lucky we are not telling you about the real rubbish that comes with later life, you would be distraught then. smile



tanith Sat 11-Oct-14 08:02:03

Certainly let the bad stuff roll on by especially family dramas, this stuff always looks less important in the cold light of day. Besides we have to conserve our energies for the important stuff like making it out of bed in the mornings {grin}

tanith Sat 11-Oct-14 08:03:22

[Grin] dammit!!

mollie65 Sat 11-Oct-14 08:09:32

as you age you worry less about the 'small stuff' and get on with life
so many AIBU are met with quite abrasive replies (whether the OP is 'goady' or not) I do wonder anyone dares to post their true feelings - happens a bit on here too sad
but do admit to reading some of the threads on there that are light-hearted and make me smile grin

SloeGinny Sat 11-Oct-14 08:10:28

An interesting thread.

As a long time lurker on MN and only occasional poster, for me there are a couple of reasons why I don't ask AIBU.

The first is that, for whatever reason, call it confidence and maturity or plain arrogance, I don't need anyone else to confirm what I do/say as R or U. Obviously, I'm the soul of sweet reason at all times............

The second is lack of time. I have a quick scan of MN/GN with an early morning cuppa, but don't have time to respond or to visit the rest of the day. This reply has taken me over my 8am deadline for getting on with a busy day grin

Anya Sat 11-Oct-14 08:22:19

Why sweat the little things?

Besides much of the time to the AIBU questions asked I just want to shout YES! So I say nought wink

FishWithABicycle Sat 11-Oct-14 08:35:53

I think I shall look forward to developing the serenity to not develop IABU-level frustrations, and the confidence to know that IANBU when I do.

But it's also the most surefire entertaining area of the site, because we all love to hear about these dramas and see them developing as the OP either follows or chooses not to follow the advice given. And it's reassuring to have a browse there too because no matter how crazy, unreasonable and hard-to-deal-with your own family is being, you can usually find some perspective by seeing how lucky you are compared to some!

Stansgran Sat 11-Oct-14 08:45:18

I do love to scan the MN AIBU columns and lurk with horror and fascination at other people's lives and I must admit I look at some of the young mums around and about who I see and wonder if it is all as awful as they make out. Some on MN are old ,at least 50, [provocation emoticon]but I am surprised that anyone has come over here for the day as the threads all seem to be hips and dribble at the moment and not very enticing. We could do with a couple more JBRs

whenim64 Sat 11-Oct-14 08:45:52

Serenity!?!? That's a first! grin When I grow up, I want to be serene. Stay around and watch when all the Gransnetters come out to play. We're fairly sedate at this time of day, but Saturday night!,,,,,,,,,,that's another matter entirely grin

Lona Sat 11-Oct-14 08:58:09

when are you ok? You seem to have come out in a rash of ,,,,,,,,,,,,s!

Grannyknot Sat 11-Oct-14 09:04:05

What thatbags said plus perhaps fewer of us are drama queens (if we ever were in the first place) bleating to the sisterhood looking for sympathy (ouch!).

For my part, I can recognise a drama queen at 50 paces and I avoid them like the plague. Having to deal with one on a forum would be my worst nightmare.

littleflo Sat 11-Oct-14 09:19:09

I believe it is because our generation were brought up not to air our problems. The wonderful thing about this site is that people can ask for help without feeling vulnerable to ridicule.

I have never had any one to tell my problems to. Even though I have had a long marriage and get on very well with my children, I would never be able to tell my husband, kids or friends about the downsides of my life.

ChippingIn Sat 11-Oct-14 09:25:06

How sad littleflo flowers

whenim64 Sat 11-Oct-14 09:40:23

Lona I'm enjoy a whole morning of not dashing about, after a week of school runs, babysitting and childminding, so I'm using every bit of my keyboard! grin....,,,,,,,?????((((((@@@@@@.......and a ������for good measure!

Got grandchildren visiting after lunch, but their parents can do all the running round this time grin

Nelliemoser Sat 11-Oct-14 09:52:58

But how many of them are there compared with how many of us? You would have to look at it in proportion. (Ignoring the influx caused by the great GN competition.)

I also think that maybe as you get older your experience and wisdom kicks in. You learn by that experience. Not that I am always calm and rational.

ninathenana Sat 11-Oct-14 10:06:28

I confess to posting on AIBU thread knowing the answer but just using it as a method of 'getting it off my chest'

Does that make me a drama queen ?? confused grin

TheMillersTale Sat 11-Oct-14 10:10:23

AIBU just makes me feel unsettled if I read it. I don't like that aspect of MN. So for me, GN is about right in tone and I shall be staying.

I also like the relative lack of sponsored threads and stickies and lack of garish ads all over the place although I am sure that will change as the place gears up.

TrillianAstra Sat 11-Oct-14 10:12:30

Maybe by the time we are grans we KNOW we are being unreasonable so don't want to draw attention to it?

baubles Sat 11-Oct-14 10:18:15

I love the AIBU threads on Mnet for its comic value.

ninathenana Sat 11-Oct-14 10:18:16

I'd say most AIBU posts are from people who aren't being unreasonable Trillian