Gransnet forums


Thank you

(51 Posts)
mizzi Wed 31-Dec-14 09:00:49

I have just read a post on Mums net,where there seems to be a lot of resentment at being expected to write thank you cards. Well if I had taken the trouble to send a cheque I don't expect to wait 6 months for a thank you!(this happened recently,the cheque was a wedding gift!) I do also expect my grandchildren to acknowledge any gifts they receive either by email or text or even a phone I being unreasonable?

NfkDumpling Wed 31-Dec-14 09:03:59

No! Although these days I don't expect a letter or card - but I do expect a call at least.

absent Wed 31-Dec-14 09:05:35

Of course you are not being unreasonable. All gifts should be acknowledged. Our generation was taught to sit down and write thank-you letters and perhaps that's not the way now, but an e-mail, text or phone call is certainly required. However, a handwritten card or letter remains very special – and appropriate.

Teetime Wed 31-Dec-14 09:34:03

I don't get thank you letters anymore but I do like to at least get a text.

sunseeker Wed 31-Dec-14 09:51:27

I can remember having to sit down on Boxing day to write thank you letters. These days I don't even get an acknowledgement that a gift has been received.

merlotgran Wed 31-Dec-14 09:58:11

I don't get thank you letters any more but I do get private messages on facebook which is what most older kids seem to do these days.

The home made cards when they were small were a joy to receive but sadly a thing of the past. tchsad

ninathenana Wed 31-Dec-14 10:00:57

I'm still waiting for a thankyou for a gift card given as a wedding present in October sad
I had a text from my nephew on Monday thanking us for his children's presents. To me a text is fine, at least it's some acknowledgment.

KatyK Wed 31-Dec-14 10:03:09

I find this annoying. My daughter always used to get my DGD to write thank you cards for all gifts when she was younger but now this seems to have stopped. I have an elderly neighbour who always buys for my DGD although she rarely sees her these days. I think this is really kind of her but I always have to ask my DD to get DGD to write a thank you card. Changing times I think.

gillybob Wed 31-Dec-14 10:11:19

In our family we tend to actually give each other presents. Therefore the "thank you" is said at the time of receiving/opening. I appreciate that this isn't always possible in which case a short call,text,email is fine.

I remember as a child being made to visit a warty auntie who stunk of cigarettes to say a personal thankyou for some small token or other. She didn't half string it out and we were made to sit on her knee. Yuk.

Agus Wed 31-Dec-14 10:15:47

I'm pleased to see DD has carried on the tradition of ensuring her two girls make and send thank you cards.

There is a bonus to this too as it keeps children occupied for ages while you have a well earned rest after the Christmas chaos smile

POGS Wed 31-Dec-14 11:23:26

I too find it a sadness that thank you notes/letters have somehow taken a back seat.

Politeness costs little but even hearing somebody say thank you these days is getting more and more difficult to hear.

I find myself asking my DGD 'Have you sent your thank you letters'. I usually get 'the look' but I give her a book of stamps and whilst she is only 8 she knows to sit and do one or two and brings them back for us to look in 'Nans Address Book'.

It's how things are now sadly isn't it. sad

tiggypiro Wed 31-Dec-14 12:18:10

No thank you means no more presents. I don't mind what form the 'thank you' comes in.

Anya Wed 31-Dec-14 12:51:37

Ditto Tiggy if they CBA to thank me, by any means - I'm not fussy how they do it - then I CBA to buy another present the next time.

Humbertbear Wed 31-Dec-14 15:12:44

I still expect a thank you card for a large gift like a wedding present. I'm afraid I contacted one bride's parents six months after the wedding. I simply asked if John Lewis had delivered the gift as we once had trouble with another store. I got a thank you letter the following week.
There is no excuse for not acknowledging gifts and, to be honest, I don't care if it's an email, text or phone call. Just let me know you got it!

numberplease Wed 31-Dec-14 16:09:05

My daughter, her husband and my grandson came on Christmas morning, and obviously thanked us there and then for their presents, but my granddaughter and grandson`s girlfriend were working, so their presents were taken to give them later, but we`ve still not heard anything.

NotTooOld Wed 31-Dec-14 16:47:46

Perhaps a bit soon, numberplease? It's only been 6 days and if they are working.....?

numberplease Wed 31-Dec-14 21:35:35

A phone call would have been nice though, and they`ve got cars.

Deedaa Wed 31-Dec-14 22:13:08

DD always makes GS1 write thankyou notes to the people who come to his birthday party. We always give out Christmas presents in person so thankyou notes don't come into it.

Coolgran65 Wed 31-Dec-14 23:30:26

I posted gifts at the beginning of December to my niece and nephew for their children. Neice sent a text yesterday. Nephew has not acknowledged at all. This is typical of nephew. His daughter is just 3 months old, it seems mean to think of not sending next year. Especially as I've always sent to the children of his sister, she does acknowledge albeit eventually. On one occasion I emailed and asked if the (birthday) gift had ever arrived.

DH's only a few £s...but it's also about respect.

Marelli Thu 01-Jan-15 07:56:13

I sent vouchers for DGD's birthday and Xmas (4 days apart). She (15) hasn't responded. DD left the family home last year (some may remember my posts at the time). DGD hasn't spoken to me since, though we had a great relationship before the break-up. However, as there are positive movements towards a reconciliation between DGD and her mum, I'm not bothering about not getting a thank you (as yet). I remember sitting laboriously scratching out thank you letters with the yearly new fountain-pen on Boxing Day, too! smile

Brendawymms Thu 01-Jan-15 10:24:09

Spoke to my elder sister last night. She had rung to say how disappointed she was with my Christmas and birthday presents to her. I gave her and her husband a very expensive bottle of wine, they have EVERYTHING, so I thought wine a good choice. Apparently she does not drink red wine any longer. For her birthday I bought her a leather covered note book and Cross pen. Apparently it's not a pen but a propelling pencil.

I have had some hideous presents in my years but have never said anything except how delighted etc to receive. To be told off over the phone for the presents I gave is unforgivable.

cazthebookworm Thu 01-Jan-15 10:30:42

Always, always did thank you letters, but it seems it is not considered necessary these days. I taught my sons the same values, but has he, with the 3 children passed it on? No! His response years ago was, "they don't do that these days." So my response was, no more presents or gifts of money sent to Australia. I feel bad about it, but it's their loss.

Marelli Thu 01-Jan-15 13:03:07

Brendawymms, I think I may have been tempted to tell your sister where to stuff the bottle of wine you gave them.

Elegran Thu 01-Jan-15 13:53:09

Good manners cost nothing. You are even more disappointed than she is at the rudeness and ingratitude. I hope you said so.

I would have told her to just give them back, and that as I clearly am not any use at choosing, I won't risk giving her the wrong thing next year - she will get nothing, that is safer

Nonu Thu 01-Jan-15 14:00:02

All mine get their children to write thank you letters, it is the way they were brought and so have passed it on their children I am pleased to say.