Gransnet forums


bettering oneself

(238 Posts)
etheltbags1 Mon 05-Jan-15 22:14:57

am I being unreasonable or maybe old fashioned when I say I always want to 'better myself'.
I have brought up this subject on several different threads over the last year or so and it always seems to get some members backs up.

Did none of you find that you were brought up to respect your elders, respect and honour your parents and always be on your best behaviour.

I was brought up to do those things and never discuss money, politics or religion. I was taught to look up to those who had done well for themselves (worked hard and achieved a good status in the community) and to 'pick my friends' because being seen with certain people would not do me any favours etc etc.

I have tried to do these things and having married into a snobbish middle class family whom I hated, apart from my late DH, I sometimes questioned these values, however they rubbed off onto me and I have only recently felt I am equal to the other surviving members.

I find it hard to change now, although I don't judge people on money or jobs, I do find it hard to ignore bad behaviour and language.

In 1968 one of my teachers sorted told us that those of us who had parents who owned their own home, a fridge, car and tv were middle class and the rest of us were lower class. This guy was a labour councillor too. this inflamed my desire to better myself and although I have little in the way of money, I do consider myself to be equal to the middle classes of today. Any comments.

FarNorth Tue 13-Jan-15 20:49:23

Is this the one Nonu?

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
1 Corinthians 13:11 (New International Version)

Petra tho said 'when she had very little' not 'was'.

Nonu Tue 13-Jan-15 21:28:50

Thanks FAR you are a STAR.


rosesarered Tue 13-Jan-15 21:40:34

This thread is generating a lot of interest.

rosesarered Tue 13-Jan-15 21:41:38

I love Count Arthur Strong....BUT only on the radio.

petra Tue 13-Jan-15 21:58:26

Thank you for pointing that out, FarNorth.
Nonu. You grew up pretty quick in in my parents house. :-)

Marelli Tue 13-Jan-15 22:18:33

I didn't know he was on the radio, rosesarered.

Tegan Wed 14-Jan-15 00:44:31

Like Little Britain he started on the radio. I must see if I can find it somewhere.

Marelli Wed 14-Jan-15 08:03:30

That part in last night's episode, where the two of them were walking towards the plane was so funny! grin

Tegan Wed 14-Jan-15 14:10:29

I kept wondering how long they [Arthur and the young man, that is] could keep the conversation going before one of them realised the other wasn't the instructor.

Stansgran Wed 14-Jan-15 21:03:58

My father left school(was made to by his widowed mother) at fourteen. My FIL was sent away from home to childless relatives as his own parents couldn't afford to bring him up. He worked his way through uni. Both men never stopped educating themselves and achieved status, money and most importantly education. It wasn't bettering themselves it was realising potential. I think it has passed on through the family and will I hope continue,this desire to realise potential though the GCs. I wish those two men who knew poverty could see the youtube clip I've just been sent of their great grand daughter giving a public address with grace and confidence. I keep thinking of " educating Rita "when I see the title of this thread.

Deedaa Wed 14-Jan-15 22:57:52

I think you've hit the nail on the head Stansgran it's not a case of bettering yourself, but of realising your full potential. So many people get knocked back and never get that far,

Iam64 Thu 15-Jan-15 18:39:55

Stansgran - that was such a good post, thank you.

Dad passed the 11 plus, parents couldn't afford the uniform, he went to work in a local mill, like all his pals. He went to night school until joining the marines (sorry dad, royal marines) at 19. He continued night school and joined the police in 1949 after I was born, in order to provide his wife and child with stability. He continued to study and retired at a high rank. His example was mirrored throughout the family. Mum had a place at art school, you guessed it, the mill. She did A level English and Art in her 40's, when middle daughter was doing A levels. Mum went to the local tech and I joined her, having left school at 15 due to 3 moves during high school. I later did various professional qualifications, finally qualifying properly at 29. My grandparents had left school at 11 or 12 and recognised education as a way out of the grind. We were all encouraged to do our best at school, "so you'll never go down'tpit, or into t'mill". We didn't I'm relieved to say [ smile]