Do I trust him?

I agree with vq. I trust people unless I have good reason not to, and from what you've said nankate he hasn't done anything in the past which directly affects you, nor is he asking for anything which might disadvantage you.

I think you are doing the right thing.

He sounds a bit lonely to me.

Nankate I feel uncomfortable re. the part in your OP were you describe his unsettling behaviour. My paranoid warning bells are ringing in that he could transfer this to you.

Thanks for your concern folks.

I do agree he is lonely and seems pleased to have found a member of the family to swap information with.

However I am keeping my distance and being careful what I say.

He has all the hallmarks of a manipulator....knows what buttons to push to keep you interested and is just candid enough to make you doubt what your gut in telling you! Listen and take note of what he says if you must.....but do not reciprocate in any way.

This is kindly meant but my father was such a person and we all learnt the hard way.

Thanks HidaW I will be very wary. No meet ups, no phone calls.

I find it curious that although he feeds you with interesting information about the history of your family he doesn't respond to any of the information you give him. Is the information he gives you true and verifiable?

It strikes me that he is leading you on, and at some point it will gradually become clear what it is he is hoping to get from you. People like this generally make contact out of the blue with distant relatives and old friends because they hope to exploit them.

Seems distinctly weird to me that he's evading answering any of your questions, something isn't quite adding up.

The info he is sending are photos, listings from the 1911 Census, names of people to add to my family tree. He doesn't seem that interested in my present day family life just info from the past. I suspect he is rather self absorbed.

Have you not met people who only want to talk about themselves and their interests, but not yours ?

I will keep you posted.

True NanKate, hadn't thought of that.

There is a possibility that he might be ill?

Yes, but not usually when you haven't seen them for a very long time.

Perhaps he is just interested in family history per se, not present-day people. However, if you know his history with his immediate family is a bit suspect then be careful.

I had a second cousin I had never heard of contact me, I gave him my address and he tracked down my phone number too. He offered to send me lots of family history and some of it was very interesting, but most of it was present-day stuff. He did say he had tracked down some other second cousins on his other side and had called in on them and enjoyed visiting ...... He has not arrived yet!

Then again, another second cousin of DH contacted us and visited last year when she was over from Canada and we enjoyed her visit very much.