ESTRANGEMENT- The silent epidemic! Let's get this out of the cupboard.

Smilelss is spot on the petty minded cruelty of parents is not of interest to the judge it is the long term Benefit to the child that is paramount, not their parents desire to hurt the grandparents
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100 years ago we did not know what a happy family was, a family was a unit of survival and every member of that family depended on it and this formed a bond. There were more children than adults and children went their own way and parents were glad to see them leave as it meant one mouth less to feed.

What we have now is an americanised edition of the famiy which some parents and children find it difficult to live up to.

Being a grand parent is too important for some people, its nice to help when they are small but actually some grandparents are looking for love and affection for ever from their grandhcildren, or children. They might be lucky but most will find that like little birds the young will fly away and leave the old to finish off their over-long lives.

These old people cant be so important to the young. They have got a life to lead.

www.gov.uk/parental-rights-responsibilities/who-has-parental-responsibility

Parental rights and responsibilities, not GP rights except in very rare cases. Get over the idea that GPs have rights and that GC need a GP relationship.

"Get over the idea that GP's have rights". In my last post I said that GP's don't have rights, it's the right of children to know their extended family. Why don't you read other posts properly Araabra?

It's also well documented that GP's have an important and valuable role to play in their GC's lives.

"These old people can't be so important to the young. They have got a life to lead"; 'these old people!!! I will be 56 this year, hardly old. What a terrible prospect for society if the general consensus of opinion of my AC's generation is that it's OK to "Leave the old to finish off their over-long lives".

One day they'll be old and I wonder if they have that view of their own elderly parents, if they'll feel the same way when they are old.

Smiles This is what you said. "Parents do not have rights to their children Araabra, they do not have the right to unjustifiably deny their children a relationship with their extended family. When cases go to court, it's the children's rights that are paramount, not those of their parents and GP's."

How does that fit with your recent statement? GP do not have rights that supersede the parents wishes to estrange GPs, GP who feel entitled to GC.

I know what I said Araabra; I didn't emphasise the word 'not' as you have done and I categorically stated that GP's don't have rights, it's the rights of the children that are paramount and they have a right under the Children Act to know their extended family.

I have not seen one estranged GP say they are entitled to see their GC; once again you are putting words into the mouths of others. In cases when GP's have been successful through the court system and an order has been made to allow them to see their GC, the parents' wishes to keep their children from their GP's has been over ridden.

If GPs don't feel entitled, why would they go to court to gain access to other people's children?

Araabra - you seem to be concentrating solely on whether or not grandparents should see their grandchildren - please bear in mind that estrangement usually extends far beyond the grandparent/grandchild relationship. Our grandchildren do not see us; or their great-grandparents, or their aunts and uncles or their cousins, or their great-aunts and great-uncles. They only have contact with members of their mother`s family. I believe that children deserve to have as much love as possible - and to have as many people as possible who care about them in their lives. As you seriously suggesting that it is fair to cut them off from so much?

If GPs don't feel entitled, why would they go to court to gain access to other people's children? Quote u Arabra

Arabra could it be because they are our flesh and blood?

You look for easy targets

I told you no one has rights over any other human being but u chose to pick up on smilelss. How sad u seem to have all this time to be so unkind.

I admire others for attempting to correct you but I think life is too short to bother with someone like yourself who seems so very obnoxious

Eddiecat snap, our little Gra daughters are cut off from not only us loving Grandparents, but also their only blood uncle, aunts, great aunts, cousins, their entire maternal family the only family they know is s i law side.

That is an enormous loss to them surely we can't all be big bad wolves.

It seems any and everyone apart from adult children are big bad wolves, according to some posters here
Its very disconcerting watching a support thread about estrangement being turned into a constant means of picking on people.
I'm not estranged, but I know people who are, and all of them did their best, as we all do
That's all anyone can do.

Miss adventure thank u absolutely spot on,
We all make mistakes to it's what human beings do.
Sadlynwe were tried and judged withOut even a trial

A kind friend said to me at the beginning quote " your daughter hasn't won anything one day she will have to live with what she has done " unquote

I often think of that.

We as my counsellor said have offered a whole tree of olive branches

All rejected without comment.

None of us going through this living hell need some clever so and so telling us ridiculous unkind insults from a stance that knows absolutely Nothing of our individual cases.

Exactly so, celeb, and when you're provoked into "justifying" yourself on here, another aspect is picked on, and on... ad nauseam.
Its such a pity; I'm surprised that every thread has been allowed to be taken over.

Believing one is entitled is selfish, it doesn't consider the feelings of others, the only interests to be served are the interests of the one who is entitled. This is exhibited by AC who, without justification, estrange themselves from their parents and deny their children their GP's and extended family.

This is an open forum so anyone who wishes to do so can join in any of the discussions. It is hoped they'll to do so in a mature and balanced manner. Posters who make nasty and at times cruel posts, who don't enter fully into the discussion by ignoring pertinent posts made by others also exhibit a sense of entitlement.

When the parents of abandoning AC reach out to them in order to try and begin the process of reconciliation, they do so out of love. When estranged GP's do what ever they can to gain access to their GC, this too is done out of love and a longing to see their GC.

As I put in my previous post, I've not seen one estranged GP state that they are entitled to see their GC. I fail to see how you can realistically hope to make any meaningful contributions to this discussion Araabra when you deliberately ignore any posts that contradict your extremely narrow view of this subject.

otw10413 "I think that this is an invisible infection which has taken hold in an ever-increasing "disposable"society."

It might be useful to explain why you think this "epidemic" has "taken hold". I'm asking because I don't agree and wonder what's different in my area?

Norah - it`s quite possible it is in your area and even happening to people you know. Those affected rarely talk about it except to their closest friends - partly because they fear being judged - but also because it is often impossible to mention it without bursting into tears

Exactly Eddie at in old days this had. Lasted for 8 years, I used to tell virtual strangers, suprisingly how often something similar In Their family.

I think lots offspring feel entitled to all they could get from their parents yet don't feel any need to treat them with compassion or respect, just discard in so e cases when the money bank mum and dad is withdrawn,
It's a very sad society older people shoved into care and children don't have any time for them, the ones who raised them,

For anyone who does want to read about 'the other side' i.e. The Estranged children.
They could go to DWIL on BabyCentre US to maybe get another perspective.
Just google DWIL and I believe it's the first option.

I didn't see anything on DWIL from estranged children and their reasons for ceasing contact with their parents. There are various discussions about problems with m.i.l.'s but that appeared to be it.

We have over the 4 plus years I've been on GN been given 'the other side' from time to time. I've never come across a post of that nature being ridiculed, the OP being insulted and asked what they'd done to be treated badly by their parents. I've only ever seen sensitive and supportive responses toward AC who talk about ceasing contact with one or both of their parents. Sadly the same doesn't always apply to parents and GP's who are estranged.

There are hundreds of stories from those with issues with their foo and moo.

Bibbity Indeed, there are hundreds of stories from those with issues with their family and mum. It's quite a good resource for those who may wonder what part they play in an estrangement.

DWIL on BabyCentre.com

Yes, I saw plenty of stories from those with issues, but I didn't see any from AC who've cut their parents out of their lives and GP's out of their children's.

Smile less I don't understand. There are hundreds of posts from people in that exact situation on that site.
They are all adults (mainly women) and many many of them have either CO or are in the process of CO and looking for support. I will post links later if you're having trouble finding them

Have we been transported to America without me noticing - I haven`t a clue what you are talking about

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