Gransnet forums

AIBU

at wondering why parents ...

(41 Posts)
granjura Sun 12-Apr-15 22:18:38

allowed a 7 year old child to ski on his own in the Alps?

We are all experienced skiers in our family, and our GS, aged 8, is a very good skier- but never ever would be let him ski on his own? This is just so tragic and sad- and those poor parents will of course blame themselves forever. But what on earth were they thinking about?

Marelli Sun 12-Apr-15 22:26:33

I just keep thinking of him wandering about looking for his mum and dad. He must have been so frightened.

Mishap Sun 12-Apr-15 22:39:42

It does indeed seem strange that this little boy was wandering about on his own - I had sort of assumed that when skiing people are in a gang - although I have never been. How desperately sad it is - his poor parents must be beside themselves.

Eloethan Sun 12-Apr-15 23:36:51

This is a terrible tragedy and the parents must be absolutely distraught. I have nothing but sympathy for them.

Iam64 Mon 13-Apr-15 08:12:52

Yes granjura, I do feel you're being unreasonable. The parents will live with this tragedy for ever. I have nothing but sympathy for them.

Riverwalk Mon 13-Apr-15 08:23:04

I don't think he was 'allowed' to go off and ski on his own routinely - just a momentary lack of judgement, like the McCanns, for which they'll forever regret.

Falconbird Mon 13-Apr-15 08:34:07

We lost our kids on more than one occasion and we weren't careless parents. We just took our eye off the game momentarily. The worst time was when our 4 year old went missing in a Railway Station in Galway.

It was heart stopping. I can remember my husband running down the road in a state of complete panic.

Thank heavens my son had the sense to approach a coach driver. (I'd told him to find a person in uniform if he ever got lost.)

We also lost two of our sons on a mountain in Ireland (what was it about Ireland?) It was a truly dreadful experience.

My heart goes out to the parents in the OP.

loopylou Mon 13-Apr-15 08:51:53

There seems to be varying reports on what happened from him allowed to ski alone to his mother stopping to help his sister who'd fallen....
Either way, it's a heartbreaking thing to happen and my heart goes out to them.

Greenfinch Mon 13-Apr-15 08:51:57

I remember losing sight of my autistic grandson twice when we were in sole charge of him in Bournemouth. Once he just decided to run off when someone asked us directions and he was found building sandcastles a few hundred yards away. The other time he ran behind the beach huts and we eventually found him at the top of a slide in the playground at Alum Chine.

MiL is convinced that losing SiL again on the seafront, caused her miscarriage a few days later.

I feel desperately sorry for the parents and sister of this little one. I hope they can come to terms with it eventually.

POGS Mon 13-Apr-15 09:34:26

Granjura

Your OP infers the parents allowed their son to ski in isolation with their permission and how they must be regretting that decision and blaming themselves.

My understanding is different.

Didn't his sister fall over, loosing a ski and in that split second the mother decided to look after her. The little boy carried on skiing , no doubt either unaware of what was happening with the others or 'thought' he knew what he was doing as children so often do !

You ask 'what on earth were thinking about'. I think we can all guess what they are thinking about but this is a tragic accident and I for one can see how quickly this all panned out.

If more information surfaces to give rise to the parents being negligent then I will retract my post but at the moment I just feel sorry for a family who are suffering such a tragic loss of their child in such a manner.

GrannyTwice Mon 13-Apr-15 09:49:49

I really can't believe that anyone who has brought up children or been involved in the care of children has not had an experience that could have potentially had terrible consequences. It's a real 'there but for the grace of God' and there will be absolutely nothing that anyone can say about this mother that she won't be thinking herself.

merlotgran Mon 13-Apr-15 09:57:05

Every time I hear about a child either being injured or even killed in a riding accident I think, There but for the grace etc., etc.,

Our three children all had ponies and we took all possible precautions but there were obviously lots of falls.

Happy days and thankfully uneventful ones.

Poor parents sad

thatbags Mon 13-Apr-15 10:08:17

Yes, you're being unreasonable, granjura (you did ask!) because you are being too judgmental without full information. It's an easy mistake to make, as is losing sight of a child when you are dealing with another. The family has my full sympathy too for having to deal with such a disaster and the lifelong nightmare that will follow.

Mishap Mon 13-Apr-15 10:15:38

We lost our DD at age 5 - in a forest. Luckily she made her way back to the caravan - at the same moment that I was about to call the police. Heart-stopping.

Grannybug Mon 13-Apr-15 10:29:17

I so agree Grannytwice.

harrigran Mon 13-Apr-15 10:38:45

Thankfully I have never been in that situation, DC never gave cause for concern.
If the child was allowed to ski on his own he had probably had proper instruction but at seven years old does not have enough experience to deal with every problem that may arise on a mountain.
Skiing and snow-boarding are dangerous sports and there will always be accidents, the parents have my sympathy on the loss of their child.

rosequartz Mon 13-Apr-15 10:38:50

It was widely reported that he had asked to ski back on his own, which is probably where granjura got her information from. Whether that is true or not remains to be seen.

Having lost DS in France when he was 3 I know the heart-stopping feeling of being unable to find your child. We found him again after 20 minutes thank God.

I doubt that the parents will ever 'come to terms ' with it.

AshTree Mon 13-Apr-15 10:41:10

Like most parents we had a number of heart-stopping moments when one or both of our children went missing momentarily. Our son, aged 4, on Paignton beach - so crowded, impossible for us to spot him or for him to spot us. After what seemed like forever, we saw him being guided back by a young woman who'd seen him wandering alone.
Another time, on a trip back from London, we were all on the escalator at Paddington underground station, when we heard our train approaching. He ran, faster than I could with his little sister, and he jumped on the train just as the doors closed, and left us on the platform. He was about 5. I don't have to describe the sheer terror I was feeling. Thank Heavens for the sensible fellow on the train who saw everything and pulled the emergency handle before the train moved off.

Nelliemoser Mon 13-Apr-15 11:14:01

To be fair to granjura I had also noted that it was initially widely reported he had asked his parents if he could go down on his own. If that was the case and we may never know, despite his obvious skills in skiing. He was seven years old and still a child.

His ability to make decisions about what to do once he was lost cannot have been mature enough to get out of the situation safely.

His parent's spokesperson said he was "out going and adventurous" but he was just seven, far too young to go out like that unsupervised in a potentially dangerous place. Those poor parents have to live with that.

granjura Mon 13-Apr-15 11:16:15

Pogs, if that is the case, then that puts a totally different light on this. If the sister fell and mum went to help and little one carried on ahead- then that is indeed a tragedy. And whatever happened, of course my heart goes to them- in fact even more so if they made a catastrophic error of judgement, as they will have to, indeed, live with it forever. Where on earth did I say I didn't feel total sympathy for them??? I said 'what on earth where they thinking about' if indeed, and that is the only news I'd heard, they allowed a 7 year old to go ahead and ski on his own. As said, we are all very experienced skiiers in the family, and my GS is just a little older and a great little skier, but we would never ever allow him to ski on his own. Becoming separated due to unforeseen circumstances is a totally different kettle of fish, and yes, could happen to anyone. We always have 1 adult at the front and 1 experienced adults at the back to ensure all are safe, always.

But I am also wondering how the child got into the wild- pistes these days are bashed and very well marked by poles, and even if he got out momentarily by a few feet, it would have been obvious how to get back to the slope?

My heart does indeed go to those poor parents. We have all lost children momentarily by accident- and it is terrifying. I suppose many of you are not experienced skiers and find it difficult to imagine. Would you allow a 7 year old to swim at sea on his own, or to go shopping on Oxford Street without you?

As said, if sister had an accident and he continued on his own- it is a very different case altogether.

POGS Mon 13-Apr-15 12:08:19

Granjura

confused

I didn't state or mention you didn't have sympathy for them!!!

granjura Mon 13-Apr-15 12:14:53

Sorry pogs, but several others did.

Just spent the last half hour reading around this tragic event- and I have to say, none of it makes sense. I am a trained ski course organiser and ski instructor, and have been skiing for over 60 years- and have taken several 100s of UK school children and my family skiing over the years. I just cannot fathom what could have happened. Blue slopes are very very clearly marked, and it is impossible to lose one's way in good weather. Best wait until the end of the investigation but we will probably never know.

He was with both parents, so if mum stopped to help his sister- the father should have been with him.

petallus Mon 13-Apr-15 12:18:04

Why rush in with criticism in circumstances like this anyway?

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 13-Apr-15 12:27:09

Poor little boy. Poor family.

Dreadful original post. Shameful.

loopylou Mon 13-Apr-15 12:42:53

Regardless of what the real facts are, it only takes a split second to have an accident, a child from my village was killed in a skiing accident 2 years ago, hitting a tree.

Perhaps as a 7 year old he overestimated his abilities, no one could have foreseen the awful outcome.

And my first thoughts were along the same lines as granjura, as initial reports stated just that, and now the picture's clearer.

I'm not a skier so perhaps that gave me a different impression.