Well--I need some help to get going. I know I am lucky but I feel that I am drowning in self pity, which is really ugly but I don't know how to stop. Help!
I am a new gran. GS is 6mths old and our first one. He is my eldest sons 1st child. I get on quite well with my dil. I cannot stand her mum. She makes snide comments about my son (lack of ambition, not earning enough,etc) but turns it all into a joke. She is careful not to say anything like this in front of her daughter. She also says only idiots own thier own house (we do) and that the only sensible thing to do is rent (like her). I am always careful to be nice to her because she is my dil mum and has far more contact with my gs than we do. She also has a long history of depression and self harm so I don't want to make her any worse. She babysits and I do not. She goes out with them a lot and my ds takes her shopping. I see them once or twice a month even tho we all live within 8 miles. I know I am jealous and I hate that.
Also--my dh (61yrs old) has just found out he is being made redundant in June. we have no savings (another story) or pension and I have no idea what we are going to do about money.
Also--my job is ending. It was a temp contract and although I have applied for jobs I have found nothing. I have never had a problem before.
Also--am going though the end of the menopause and I feel like an old prune. Have put on loads of weight and cannot find the desire to do anything about that.
Have read this back and I realise I sound so childish. I think thats why I have not spoken about any of this to my family/friends and instead poured it out to a forum! I am in tears--frightened about the change in me and the change thats coming up in our lives. I don't know how to cope with it. The stupid thing is that its the situation with my ds that makes me most unhappy.
On the plus side---my daughter, who has been unwell for several years has been on a medical trial. She is now well for the first time in her adult life and has great hope for her future. She got married a couple of months ago.! We never thought that would ever happen.
My youngest has found a new job, new flat and new boyfriend and he is very happy. We see them quite a lot and really enjoy thier company.
I am very lucky and my dh loves me. Sometimes I have no idea why.
I guess what I really want to know is how to adjust? How to come to terms with the fact that we are now at a point in our lives where things will happen to us that we might not have any control over. Health, work, housing--it all seems to be on a down path. --As I said--a lot of self pity.
Anybody recognise any of this? Any thoughts?
The SNP is in a ‘tremendous mess’ apparently.
What films could you watch again and again?