Have slept on this overnight and as some of you have said, just putting it all down has helped.
I am going to really try and not be jealous. My dil mum has not got so much to hang on to and looking at it I suppose I can see that she must feel that she has got a lot to lose. I will try and be nicer to her (difficult!). But I can feel myself clenching up whenever I see her--and I don't like that in me.
And thinking about it properly---he is not going to remember who changed his nappy the most when he was 10 weeks old and I know that we will get to know him better when he is older . I KNOW that (but there is still that little worm in the back of my head saying he will not know me). But it will get better.
And yes--I think I have been using my jealousy as a way of not having to cope with everything else. Not having much luck finding a new job. Am going to look at everything--not just the things I want to do. My dhhas a meeting next week about his job, so at least we will know where we stand.
I always thought that when we got to this part of our lives the money would not be so pressing and we would have some put by. That has not happened--mainly because of my dds ill-health. She was first ill aged 9, then on and off for years. She was told that she was not physically ill but had mental health problems and we had no help at all. She missed loads of school and only managed part of her university course. When she was ill she could not get herself out of bed, and I had to wash her and even feed her sometimes. When she was 21 she went to the gp with yet another uti and was seen by a locum . He sent her to a consultant immunologist who diagnosed her with a rare auto-immune disorder. She has been on a drug trial for 3 years and the difference is amazing. No mental health problems but a shed load of experimental drugs! Anyway--whenever she was ill I just stopped working. I have had about 10 jobs in the last few years and this last one has lasted 2 years. My oh has been very good but it has not been easy. It is so much better now.
I love jomarie idea of a spoonfull of bi-carb!! How I wish that would really work.
I have also read some of the other threads about grans who feel sidelined by the other gran and see that its quite a common feeling. That has also helped--to know that I'm not the only one who has felt this way.
Am going to sit down with oh and work out what to do next. I am the one who wants to sell up while we have the choice but he wants to saty put and "see how it goes". I know its early days but I don't want to be forced into moving in a hurry and he doesn't want to move only for him to get another job the following week! How I wish for a crystal ball.
Janeainsworth---no, have not been tested. I shall ask about it next time I go, thankyou.
Thankyou all and hello lizzymae!
ohdear Mon 20-Apr-15 15:40:17
ohdear Wed 22-Apr-15 11:42:47
Tegan Tue 21-Apr-15 10:43:48
FlicketyB Tue 21-Apr-15 09:48:55
janeainsworth Tue 21-Apr-15 03:17:47
janeainsworth Tue 21-Apr-15 03:13:11
LizzieMay Mon 20-Apr-15 22:20:08
LizzieMay Mon 20-Apr-15 22:17:52
Jomarie Mon 20-Apr-15 21:21:48
Deedaa Mon 20-Apr-15 21:14:15
AshTree Mon 20-Apr-15 18:07:34
Tegan Mon 20-Apr-15 18:04:08
Mishap Mon 20-Apr-15 17:47:34
ohdear Mon 20-Apr-15 16:48:04
ohdear Mon 20-Apr-15 16:41:03
Mishap Mon 20-Apr-15 16:40:09
KatyK Mon 20-Apr-15 16:33:04
Teetime Mon 20-Apr-15 16:32:23
ohdear Mon 20-Apr-15 16:30:40
GillT57 Mon 20-Apr-15 16:22:04
amarmai Mon 20-Apr-15 16:18:52
Tegan Mon 20-Apr-15 16:18:02
ohdear Mon 20-Apr-15 16:16:34
GillT57 Mon 20-Apr-15 16:15:44
jinglbellsfrocks Mon 20-Apr-15 16:08:54
jinglbellsfrocks Mon 20-Apr-15 16:07:27