Not to want to be blessed all the time

Good question, janea. I would say "you're welcome" because I have no objection to that phrase at all. I don't honestly know why it upsets some people and I'm hoping someone will enlighten me as to why it is incorrect in this situation.

As you say GT depends on context.
Sometimes 'no problem' is quite appropriate - at 5'9" I'm often asked by shorter people to reach for things for them from upper supermarket shelves. Sometimes I even anticipate their difficulty and offer before I'm asked - it literally isn't a problem.
If someone's thanking me for hospitality I would probably say 'My pleasure' or 'it's a pleasure to see you' because I really do enjoy cooking for people and seeing them.
But a standard response in English is sadly lacking and often there's something awkward about it.
My study of Cantonese did not progress very far, but I liked the response they use - 'thank you' is 'm'goi leh' answered by 'm'sai' ( no need) - simple and to the point!

I don't particularly like it - bless, I mean - but it is a comparatively recent use of the word, so what did we say in the past? Oh how sweet? I'm not sure I said that either. Any ideas? Is it just a lazy way of reducing a multitude of compliments down to one phrase. It can be used when you would have said:

- What a pretty baby
- What a kind thing to do
- you've dropped your bag; let me help you

etc., etc. Yes, I think it's annoying because it's lazy but it does serve a purpose.

Agree ashtree, people used to thank me when I was working and I usually responded with 'you're welcome' as indeed they were, and no one seemed to mind being told that!

Janea, no response would be needed, apart from a smile, perhaps.

The transaction's been completed, the person who's provided the service/assistance has been thanked, why prolong the exchange?

I keep thinking what the other options are - grunts, silence, scowls - perhaps we should be grateful at any response that is a recognition of us ( and be very envious of those languages that have an easy although completely meaningless answer)

Gracesgran, in what context would 'aww, bless' be a reasonable substitute for 'you've dropped your bag, let me help you'?

I hadn't thought of just a smile - I'm not sure we're programmed just for that. Sort of feels unfinished and ungracious ( as other languages demonstrate)

ana I think gracesgran meant that 'aw bless' would be an appropriate response if someone said 'you've dropped your bag, let me help you.'

I see aw bless as being a substitute for affectionately saying with a dropped bag - oh dear never mind , that's a bit of a mess , don't feel daft etc etc. Actually I just think anything kindly meant in those situations should be a center in the manner in which it is offered. Sure beats ' you stupid old bat you've dropped your f**** bag and have got in my way , now let me through'

A center = accepted

I still think it's a horribly twee expression.

Ana that's the point - if someone has thanked you, it does seem the right thing to do, to respond verbally in some way. Not to do so seems gauche or ungracious.
If you gave a little DGC a gift, and they thanked you, you wouldn't just say nothing, would you?

We were talking about commercial transactions though, weren't we? How long does the thanking and re-thanking have to go on?

After I've thanked the checkout person in the supermarket for having checked my purchases and taken my money, he or she doesn't say 'you're welcome'. They certainly wouldn't say 'see you later...' Perhaps it depends on where you live.

When people say 'Awww bless!' it is always said in the patronising tone used for cute pets and very small children. An older woman or man is not a pet, nor are we comparable with small children so we shouldn't be addressed as if we were.

The first time I heard it was over ten years ago. I was saying something about my mother, in her 80s, but mentally and physically in good order. I think it was about her being invited to make a flower arrangement for some high profile flower festival, she was a flower arranger of some note. The person I was talking to said 'Aww bless' in that patronising tone and I was completely taken aback, it seemed so inappropriate for someone, whatever their age, who was clearly a top performer in their field of endeavour. Would anyone say 'Aww bless' if they heard Judi Dench, now in her 80s, had just been nominated for another Oscar or BAFTA award?

Perhaps it depends on which supermarket and how big they are ana.
I go to our local convenience Co-op where the staff all know me, and the larger Waitrose which is also local.
The staff in both shops are friendly and courteous and would never ignore a 'thank you' from a customer.
Flickety I think I would have been enraged too!

Have you ever toted up the number of "thank you"s uttered at the check-out?
Cashier finishes putting shopping through till and says Thank you
You probably reply "thank you"
Cashier : thank you, says how much , you say thank you
He/she asks you to put card in machine , says thank you
You do the card thing, take it out -probably say thank you to the machine
Cashier gives you receipt, says thank you
You say thank you

Then if you are in Waitrose, you will be exhorted to have a wonderful day/evening/weekend to which you would probably rather say "Fat chance," but you will undoubtedly say - Thank you.

Yes I agree Soutra that sometimes it's a little overdone in Waitrose.
I once filled in one of their customer services surveys and one of the questions related to whether or not the hapless checkout person appeared 'passionate' about their job.
I felt like responding a la Alan Bennett 'I'm British and I don't do that sort of thing.'

Aww bless reminds me of one of my ex SILs, she said it all the time. I don't hear the term used over here but I hope it doesn't become an in word that many people pick up and then everyone, well lots of people start using. Inane words that have been popular in the last ten years or so....Absolutely used instead for those who have forgotten the word yes. Surreal, does every other person have a dreamlike experience. No problems, I really prefer a smile or even you're welcome. Yesterdee and Tuesdee, I really dislike them the most. Sounds like someone talking with straw in their mouth.

Re aw bless I'm afraid in the circles I move in this now has iconic ironic status and is much used with amusement

FlicketyB and Grannytwice - you have both highlighted why I don't like the expression. They are treating the object of the "blessing" as the subject of amusement. It was as though they thought that Flickety's 80-year old mother was a doddery senile old woman who was being humoured by being allowed to make a flower arrangement (which they probably thought was six dandelions and a dead geranium) instead of a respected arranger whose work would enhance any event. "Oh, she is trying so hard to do it, bless her"

That is the tone in which it is usually said, with an indulgent smile for a cute child or a pathetic idiot. Doubtless there are some people who say it in all seriousness, but we have heard it said patronisingly far too often to appreciate them.

Can anyone of you remember that lovely Celtic blessing about the road rising up to meet you and the wind being ever at your back?

Gracesgran, in what context would 'aww, bless' be a reasonable substitute for 'you've dropped your bag, let me help you'?

I don't think I said it was acceptable Ana. I was trying to work out where people use bless as a substitute. You come over as offended. Why?

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Thanks