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AIBU

It's MY garden !

(40 Posts)
ninathenana Thu 28-May-15 11:54:59

My kitchen is at the front of the house. We have a small front garden with a dwarf wall bordering the public footpath. I was stood in front of the window washing up when two women and 4 or 5 children walked passed. The oldest was about 10. He proceeded to pick the flower heads off the plants in the bed under the wall. At which point I banged on the window so he would know I'd seen him. One woman said something along the lines of "miserable old biddy"

AIBU or am I turning into the person we feared as children??

jeanie99 Thu 28-May-15 21:41:03

I would be furious and would certainly say something.

Our front garden as a wall around it so don't get children coming in but we have had the occasional dog and if I have seen anything I'm out there telling the owner.

numberplease Thu 28-May-15 22:22:45

We live in an end terraced house, there's a public path down the side, then a wall about 8` high, dividing us off from a new housing estate. We have a wall about 3 and a half feet high around our back yard, and the stones on the top are mostly broken off, because of, not just kids, but young men, standing on our wall in order to reach over and climb over the other wall onto the housing estate, it saves them a long walk round. We`ve been out and spoken to them, as well as banging on the window, but all we get is abuse. Some kids doing it ended up picking gravel up from the edge of the road on the other side, and throwing it over into our yard, plus sitting on top of the wall, picking berries off a tree that`s on the other side next to the wall, and throwing them into our yard as well. There`s not a lot we can do, if we go to the police they won`t be here when the police arrive, that`s IF they arrive.

J52 Thu 28-May-15 22:41:02

Number who owns the wall? Is there something that can be put on top, such as the spikes used to keep pigeons off buildings? x

AshTree Thu 28-May-15 23:30:29

We fixed some trellis along the top of our back garden wall to deter intruders. It's about 18" high and we grow clematis up the wall which then climbs all over the trellis. Maybe you could do something like this, number? Though I think in your case some very thorny climbing roses might be just the ticket.

Deedaa Sun 31-May-15 22:16:28

When we moved to Cornwall 40 years ago we were amazed when the little boy from next door came to apologise for flattening one of our plants with his football. Where we came from in London we wouldn't have expected any plants to survive for more than a couple of days.

merlotgran Sun 31-May-15 22:32:53

When DH and I got engaged I took him to meet my grandparents. They lived in a typical suburban semi and Grandpa was quite agitated about some lads who had started sitting on their wall to eat fish and chips and chucked the empty wrappers into the front garden.

DH drew a quick sketch of a wrought iron fence he could make for the top of the wall. Grandpa was a retired marine engineer so male bonding was quickly established.

Nan and Grandpa are long gone now but my cousin informs me the fence is still on top of the wall.

janeainsworth Mon 01-Jun-15 00:29:22

That's a lovely anecdote merlot smile

numberplease Mon 01-Jun-15 00:40:23

Sorry, J52 and Ash tree, only just got back on here. I presume the wall is owned by the people who built the housing estate, it`s not feasible for us to put anything on there, and the idea of any climbing plant would not work, as soon as anything started growing, it`d be pulled up by the sweet folk around here! We`ve started to put up and shut up, we only get more aggro if we go after them.

Eloethan Mon 01-Jun-15 00:55:19

I would be very annoyed too and would definitely say something. I don't blame the children - they obviously haven't been told that it is wrong to pick flowers from someone's garden.

rosesarered I've seen toddlers from very obviously "middle class" families rampaging around shops, grabbing things off shelves or running around restaurants disturbing other diners- with the parents not batting an eyelid. I think the fact that a child is from as "nice neighbourhood" does not necessarily guarantee good manners.

Anya Mon 01-Jun-15 07:31:25

numberplease sad

Marmight Mon 01-Jun-15 08:01:29

I owned a coffee shop with a couple of friends for some years and the behaviour of some children mothers was unbelievable. The children would pour milk into the sugar basin, drink milk from the jug, climb over the window seat and wipe their 'orrible sticky fingers all over the window, swing from the curtains, shout and scream while the Mums took not a blind bit of notice. I used to go into Joyce Grenville mode and roar 'now Henry/Melissa/Joseph, we don't do that here, *SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW'. They did as they were told, while their Mums continued with their chatting oblivious to what was going on.

NfkDumpling Mon 01-Jun-15 08:20:59

Our local NT pile has an Easter egg hunt in the gardens every year, but are now considering whether to continue. This year more of the little darlings ran amuck through the garden beds and pulled the heads off the daffs and left a mess. My DD2 was there with DGD2 and was appalled that parents did nothing to keep their DC in check. It seems to be getting worse.

One shocked parent was heard to remark that the trouble was these events attracted people who were "just not National Trust"!

rosesarered Mon 01-Jun-15 08:28:46

Eloethan what you say is true, but what I actually said was that if ninathenana lives in an area where the children are pretty well behaved on the whole, then a telling off may work.Only Ninathenana knows what the children are like where she lives. However, later she says there are no children living near her as it's a coastal main road, so it probably would not happen again anyway.
Numberplease what a problem for you, but I think you are right, otherwise things may escalate.

confusedbeetle Mon 01-Jun-15 17:23:04

Such a shame when children misbehave and damage plants. If you tell them off the parents will naturally respond badly. One way is to be actually super nice and say something along the lines of " I know it seems a nice thing to do, but it's better to leave the flowers where we can all see them"

Or something to the mother " it is tricky to help children know not to pick them isnt it?