AIBU to think this is very rude

Thatbags I don't know where you got the 'mere in laws' quote from. I don't have any problem with other in law members.

The garage incident upset me as I did not want my DH mocked by his brother in our house, it was just plain unkind.

I will accept though that since I have been in my 60s I do get a tad irritated by some people.

DS2's GF was thirty recently and there were cards everywhere. I confess I did have a peek at them when I was in their house alone for a few minutes. The contents were all lovely and it was nice to see how much her friends thought of her. I don't think I would ever write anything in a card which couldn't be put in full view.

(Now DS2 has finished university, at the age of 35! and started work, we hope she will soon be DDiL instead of GF.)

I wouldn't have a problem with anyone looking and reading birthday cards that were on display. To me that is a bit like looking at a painting on the wall. Anything personal would not be on show anyway.

However reading a letter or photo's in a pile, that had been left on the side should not be looked at by anyone without permission.

If cards are on display I read the front only and if its a joke which is continued on the inside cover I would ask before picking it up to read it.

The cards were on 'display' but in a private place - your house - so I tend to agree with you NanKate! I don't particularly mind if people peek at my cards but I always ask if I can look at others - apart from my DD's when I just welly in and read them . You obviously have a problem with the in-laws and this is just another irritation to add to the rest.

would you be annoyed if someone you liked looking at your cards..or is it the person and not the action that has pissed you off...I allow liberties with people I like .. Nanakate x

In our house I should add

Overtly sentimental sexy birthday cards are displayed on the bedroom windowsill away from prying eyes.

I think the garage episode was far more rude than the cards. I lock our study / office door when certain people visit !!

By which I mean that perhaps you are a very private person and perhaps find things stressful that others wouldn't.

So your BiL had asked your son if he could look in the garage?

Seems you get irritated easily especially, possibly, by people who are "mere" inlaws.

I am happy to see people looking and admiring cards but not reading all the contents.

As you see I appear to be the only person who thinks it rude. I am sure a psychologist would have a field day with my comments.

I usually look at cards that are displayed. Why display them if you don't want them to be admired and looked at.
On nosey relatives. I always had to clean the tops of room doors before my sister visited after seeing her checking them once!

If it is rude, then I must stop doing it!! I am always reading everything I see. I usually ask permission first of course.

Thatbags it was my BinL who looked in garage. He was in the back garden with my DS and I heard him say 'Can I look in the garage to see if your dad has got round to clearing it out yet?' A moment later he had opened the door. I heard this from the kitchen. My son is oblivious to this bad feeling I have and I don't know if he responded.

I now lock the garage door when they come to stop this happening.

I probably wouldn't look in the cards but I don't think I'd mind if someone visiting did.

I've never really thought about this before but I can imagine some of my family being blooming nosey!

Yes, I saw from the OP that you were pissed off.

When your daughterinlaw went to look in the garage side door, what had led to that, if you don't mind me asking? It seems an odd thing to do just out of the blue so I'm just wondering if there was a general milling about talking about hoards of junk in the garage or something, or whether it was just dil milling about on her own, in which case it does appear nosy, but harmless for all that.

Nice to hear your DH was having a water pistol fight with his grandkids on his birthday .

Did he mind other family members looking inside his birthday cards?

Thatbags you asked where DH was whilst his DB and SinL were looking through his cards, well he was having a water pistol fight with our two GSs 4 and 2 in the garden.

My DH is a notorious hoarder and his DB mocks him for not clearing out the junk. Last time they came I found my BinL going into the side door of our garage to see what the state of it was. Another example IMO of them being bloody nosey.

I expect they will be going through the drawers next. As you can see they p*** me off.

Well I see from all your comments that it is the norm to read Birthday cards. I had not in fact put them on display my DinL had done that for my DH.

My comments to my DH were just a bit emotional and I should have realised that they were on public display and where open to viewing.

My DS and DinL put cards up to each at their home and I would never look at the messages they send to each other.

Heyho I realise my views are in the minority and to be honest I was quite surprised.

That is the good thing about Gransnet we see a whole myriad of views and comments.

I don't think it's rude, but personally would not do it unless invite to look. That's just the way I am.

Late MIL not only read them, but rearranged them so hers was at the front, or most prominent! x

I love to look at other peoples' cards...but I always say "ooo what gorgeous cards..can I have a look" ... I would imagine most people are only too happy to have their cards looked at and read...

I would never write anything private to put on public display. A lot of people would assume that if displayed they are free to read.

Not rude. I expect they wanted to see who the cards were from. If a card is private, put it somewhere private.

Where was your DH at the time? You don't mention him as being present.

Oh dear, I hope it's not rude, because I often read cards that are on display. I wouldn't put a card on display if it had something very personal written in it.

I was, however, surprised at what my neighbour's 22 year old daughter did. She was invited to wait in our sitting room because she'd forgotten her key. I went in to the kitchen to get her a drink and when I came back she was clicking through the family photos on our camera which had been lying on the table!