So that's it settled then. DH has spoken. The DDs have been going on about our Golden Wedding (June 2016) for ages now and recently the pressure has stepped up as they say that in order to book a cruise for us or a venue for a big celebration they will have to start making arrangements soon. DH ruled out the cruise straight away because a) he felt sick and dizzy on the ferry from Oban to Barra this year b) the Mediterranean is full of refugees in collapsing boats, c) Scandinavian countries are too cold and everything else is too far away, d) Cruise ships are too big and he would get lost (this is probably true!) e) Our passports are out of date.
What about the BIG celebratory party? a) most of his friends are dead, b)he might not recognise some of our old friends c) all new friends are mine not his, d) he would be forced to wear his kilt, make a speech, dance and thereby 'make a show of himself'.
In addition, both of these options would involve spending a lot of money. He does not want the DDs to waste their money on us, nor waste our own money on something he would not enjoy.
OK - what would HE enjoy, what would HE like to do? After much thought, he decided that we had better do something and thought that he could 'treat' me + 2DDs + 3DGC to our tea in the local pub. This would be sensible as it did not require pre-planning or booking, hair cuts or new clothes and could be cancelled on the day if he did not feel up to going, or otherwise I could just go myself with the family as long as I was not gone too long.
AIBU to feel that 50 years of marriage deserves something special by way of celebration? AIBU to think that he might consider what I want for once? AIBU to consider putting him into respite care for a week and going on a cruise with my sister (who was my bridesmaid)