We had a ceilidh in the village hall for our silver, and a lovely event for our ruby - we went to a lovely Elizabethan manor house nearby, where everyone (close friends and family) arrived in their wellies and went for a pre-lunch walk through the woods - we then settled down in one of the barns where caterers provided a lunch while a classical guitarist treated us to some beautiful music. It was very informal and unfussy and my OH (who has PD) thoroughly enjoyed it because it was not a big fuss and there were only about 20 people there. The owner of the house thought it was such fun that he came and joined in!
Our Golden is looming in 4 years and I guess my OH might be even less fit by then and will probably not be able to cope with any palavar. We will have to wait and see.
Here is a suggestion - have a small meal out/or at home to celebrate the day; then take yourself of a holiday with your sister. Clearly his wishes cannot be ignored even if they seem a bit dreary. After 50 years I am sure that you guessed how he would feel!
Cross partyAsylum seekers in UK should have right to work after six months!