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Is it just my DH or is it a man thing

(43 Posts)
overthehill Sat 28-Nov-15 21:24:43

My husband, looks on all strangers as potential thieves and villains. We do have a friend who is similar.

Say the council for example put in security cameras somewhere he will say "won't be long before a vandal destroys those" perhaps a new wall will go up somewhere "there'll be graffiti on that before you know it".

He believes we are going to be robbed, broken into etc. etc. I don't like to tempt fate but although we live in London and yes there are break-ins occasionally, it's not downtown Johannesburg here.

I am grateful for the burglar alarm we have fitted as we did have a spate of break-ins a couple of years back. We do as well have a dummy camera on the front door a working one on the back of our garage, little spikes of plastic (with sign to warn) on the garage roof and then today he remarked burglars could, if they could get entry to the garden remove fence panels and he's seen some devices which locks them in place. Thankfully, he is not going down that avenue.

I'm not burying my head in the sand although he would probably disagree but I can't spend time worrying about what might happen.

Maranta Mon 30-Nov-15 14:25:53

Same as you [dolphin]. My next door neighbours have a key, and my son 7 miles away. But I do worry about being taken ill on my own.

Stansgran Mon 30-Nov-15 14:33:34

A bedside phone? To call for help. When I'm on my own I keep the keys with me after locking up.

tanith Mon 30-Nov-15 14:55:08

OH is very security conscious he is always locking the back door when I want to go in and out all the time its most annoying. We always do lock up at night, front door is double locked and he locks the porch door too and bolts it but we leave keys to both doors behind the radiator at the bottom of the stairs making sure we lock up with those keys and always placing them back in their place. We are both a bit anal about shutting windows when we are out and so far all has been well in 17yrs.

OlderNoWiser Mon 30-Nov-15 14:59:04

We have a big, strong Rottweiler and a small yappy terrier - plenty of noise, backed up by sheer power - and have never had a problem. I sleep very well at night smile

Teetime Mon 30-Nov-15 15:17:39

DH is Mr Safety and Mr Rules is Rules. He if far more cautious about everything than I am but it was his profession for 40 years I don't think I'll get him to lighten up now. He's not a conspiracy theorist though like one of his brothers (Daily Mail reader) who is convinced we are facing weather disasters of biblical proportions daily, that we have already been consumed by foreign powers in our highest offices and that probably the Martians have already landed. His other brother is a career hypochondriac who know EVERYTHING about health and ill health and is consulted by his own GP and various medical consultants for his learned opinion. The Marx Brothers they ain't! smile

Greyduster Mon 30-Nov-15 15:37:30

I'm afraid I'm the eternal pessimist/doom and gloom merchant in our family. DH's glass is always half full, bless him. The only thing he gets paranoid about is the BBC, who he is convinced is trying to bring this country to its knees! We are both pretty hot about security, but have slipped up the other morning when he came down and said not only had we forgotten to check the previous night that the front door was locked, but ditto the car, so both were unlocked all night!shock

chocolatepudding Mon 30-Nov-15 16:44:56

Please Luckygirl and others - do not leave your key in the lock inside. My MIL always left her keys in the lock after locking the door during the day and only removed the keys at night.

One day when she was terminally ill MIL collapsed on the kitchen floor. She managed to phone us but did not want us to call an ambulance. We rushed over (which took 35 minutes) and tried with our keys to get in but could not. I can still remember thinking DH could choose which window to smash to get in. I called for an ambulance and was surprised when two first responders arrived, swiftly followed by an ambulance. I think MIL finally learnt her lesson then.

Tessa101 Mon 30-Nov-15 17:42:05

Yes... Mine is exactly the same. Can't leave dog outside the shop.Keep handbag in front of you. Don't leave anything on show in parked car. I am mindful of all of these things but think mine is a little to suspicious. Not everyone has wrongful intentions.

NfkDumpling Mon 30-Nov-15 18:28:54

We were burgled once while away on holiday. He got into the back garden over a six foot fence with shrubs on both sides and through a tiny top window (locked) because it was old sealed unit double glazing which didn't have a steel bar in the frame as they do now, so he was able to ping it out easily with a screw driver. He got out through the conservatory window leaving it wide. The house was open, the police believed, for several days, but luckily he was an opportunist who didn't think to return.

I'd always kept my cheap 'burglars' jewellery in a box on my dressing table and he'd thrown this in disgust across the bed. Other valuables such as passports and stuff of sentimental value are also kept in silly places which would have taken time to find, so all he took was £40ish from my £2 coin pot. The police reckon he was probably in and out on under five minutes.

We now just take reasonable precautions to cover the insurance if it happens again. Can't let it rule our lives or we'd never leave home.

Qinwa Mon 30-Nov-15 23:30:38

My husband locks the back door, patio door and windows even in the summer. When he goes out he double lock the front door even though I'm in the house incase someone breaks in and attacks me! Drives me nuts!!!

Synonymous Tue 01-Dec-15 00:11:10

DH always locks all the doors all the time and has been known to lock me out when I have just quickly popped into the garden to do something - which drives me nuts. hmm
To my amusement he has left the garage 'dinkerdonker' in his pocket on at least two occasions in the last week and has sat down and obviously pressed the button inadvertently because I have found the garage door open in the morning. grin
Fortunately the garage is still not properly sorted since our move a year ago so it would be difficult to find anything to pinch! But perhaps equally difficult to work out if something is missing? wink

Iam64 Tue 01-Dec-15 14:14:05

After 35 years of 'discussion' we now leave a set of keys on a hook behind the door that leads into the porch. The outside door is locked with one of those state of the art locks (as are the other outside doors)

Teetime thanks for making me laugh (30.11.15 15.17) The Marx brothers they aint.

I have two dogs, one very large and the other middle sized. They never bark unless someone knocks at the door during the day, or at any unusual noise during the night. They sound huge and ferocious, which they certainly aren't. They do make me feel safe, especially as our local policeman tells me dogs are a better deterrent than a burglar alarm.

loopylou Tue 01-Dec-15 15:14:40

I'm far more safety conscious than DH; he's of the 'Nothing worth pinching' club and doesn't do sentimental value or stuff
It's very quiet where we live but even so the front door's kept locked and I lock the side door if I'm upstairs or in the back garden.
We've recently replaced the old doors (which quite frankly did little to keep anything out) so hopefully safe and secure.

My parents lock all internal doors at night but rarely lock their back door during the day. As both are very elderly, we keep nagging them but to little avail. I've walked in, made a cup of coffee and sat down in their living room while both have been snoozing in their chairs. The ancient dog is no use or deterrent!
Seriously scary hmm at how vulnerable they would be.

NemosMum Tue 01-Dec-15 17:22:57

Could your husband be unwell? If he has become like this recently, you might want to think of seeing the doc. Just occasionally can be a sign of illness.

NfkDumpling Wed 02-Dec-15 13:49:14

At our last house our car was broken into twice in the drive and our son had the tilt stolen to order (it was new and nothing else was taken). The policeman who came the last time said "What did we expect - we'd left the light on for the burglars". He meant the street light outside which lit the front garden.

We learnt that like a full moon street lights encourage burglars as they give a constant light and cast shadows for near-do-wells to hide in. Villages without street lighting are safer.

Security lights and flashing torches arouse more suspicion and are noticed more.

Burglar alarms are a waste of money unless they are linked to a police station (police won't come out otherwise unless you can actually see the burglar inside the property).

Make sure your Yale or key cannot be reached through the cat flap!

And crime prevention chaps won't usually say that dogs are the best deterrent as they may bite the intruder - but they are!

TriciaF Wed 02-Dec-15 14:03:23

If we still lived in a big city or a town, we would definitely be more security conscious. in the past we've had several burglaries, cars stolen bags snatched on the street.
Here in the country we usually don't bother to lock doors, even at night. We have a dog.
I'm more worried now about physical safety as I've had a few falls recently.

TyneAngel Wed 02-Dec-15 14:32:58

I too live alone, in a detached house in a quiet, heavily hedged cul-de-sac. My house is like Fort Knox, with strong locks, bolts and levers. My family live some way away and although my neighbour has a key, he wouldn't get in if it was bolted. DD worries constantly in case I am taken ill, so I asked a police officer what would happen in that case. He said they were frequently called in by the ambulance service and they always got in, using their Big Red Key. 'Is that what I'd call a battering ram?' I asked, Yes, he replied, laughing.
As my front door is inches-thick solid wood, they'd take some of the masonry with it. Better keep well.......