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AIBU

Is it just my DH or is it a man thing

(42 Posts)
ninathenana Sun 29-Nov-15 12:11:05

I don't want to alarm anyone but .....
We were out, all doors and windows were locked there was evidence that he had tried to open the windows at the back without success so the A.H. took the bottom panel out of the fully double glazed back door. Insurance sent out a specialist firm to replace it with tamperproof sealant etc. This didn't stop him coming back a couple of years later and entering the same way ! When it was replaced that time the guy said you need to make sure the glazing bars are on the inside which he did. We also have a state of the art alarm now.
Locks don't necessarily solve the problem.

overthehill Sun 29-Nov-15 08:40:18

Soontobe

Neighbours were broken onto, not us but I'm grateful for the intruder alarm

vampirequeen Sun 29-Nov-15 08:34:36

DH is laid back but my mum...omg. She is constantly aware of thieves, burglars, vandals etc. She trusts no one......including me hmm. I'm not allowed to have a key for her house because she doesn't trust my DH. And as for my friend in South Africa. No matter how many times I explain that she's a poor white South African (they don't exist according to my mum) my mum is convinced that she's a "big black Nigerian man with seven wives, sixteen children and a mansion near Niarobi". Yes my mum reads and believes the Daily Mail grin

Leticia Sun 29-Nov-15 08:08:25

I don't think it is a man thing at all- just a pessimistic individual.

whitewave Sun 29-Nov-15 08:04:33

I am much more laid back about security than DH. I suppose it comes from living in a rural area most of my early years when nothing was locked and people simply walked in without knocking often. I potter off to bed and leave him to clank and click all the doors smile

cornergran Sun 29-Nov-15 07:52:27

Same here liz. DH has been known to go out without locking the front door and don't ask how many nights the back has been left open. Not just an age thing - always. grin. I sort of wish he had the OTT security bug. I check it all now. Our front door key does get left in the lock at night. Think we need a different system though. Like the idea of an out of sight hook.

Liz46 Sun 29-Nov-15 07:36:42

My husband was in the forces for 25 years so I could be forgiven for thinking he may be security concious. No, he leaves doors unlocked, windows open etc. I now check frequently after realising once that the back door must have been unlocked for days.

Anya Sun 29-Nov-15 07:06:39

grumppa of course I do not include you in that description....perish the thought!

kittylester Sun 29-Nov-15 06:26:00

We used to have a key pot (a wide bowl) on the chest of drawers in the hall. Everyone dropped their keys in as they passed. Then dh locked himself out and fished a set of keys out using a garden cane and the letter box! We all now put keys in a drawer! The deadlock key is turned at night, taken out and hung on a cup hook screwed under one of the cross pieces of the door - unseeable from the letterbox!

lefthanded Sun 29-Nov-15 00:49:15

Curiously, our relationship is exactly the opposite. She's the glass-half-empty one who sees every minor setback as a looming disaster. If 2 people she knows have colds at the same time then she would be convinced that it was the start of an Asian Flu pandemic which was about to decimate the population!

Me? I'm the world's most incurable optimist! And on the odd occasion when things DO go wrong I take my lead from Jerome Kern ("pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.")

grumppa Sat 28-Nov-15 23:44:18

Not fair, Anya! I deny the paranoid impeachment!

Indinana Sat 28-Nov-15 23:12:16

Luckygirl we had a similar disagreement discussion about whether or not to leave the key in the door. The worry was not over someone being able to break in, but the possibility of our both being incapacitated in some way and our DC (who live nearby and have keys to our house) being unable to gain access if the key is in the lock (this did, in fact, happen to our neighbour who had a fall, was able to call her daughter, but daughter was unable to get in and they had to call the fire brigade).
We resolved the issue by screwing a small hook into the architraving behind the inner door and hanging a key there. It is unreachable by anyone breaking the small pane of glass or fishing around through the letterbox, but is instantly accessible by us in an emergency.

Anya Sat 28-Nov-15 22:56:50

It's a 'getting-on-a- bit man thing' - they get grumpier and more paranoid once they hit 60 especially if they've retired. Women generally wait until the mid 70s before their cumudgery gene kicks in. I might have made that word (cumudgery) up.

fluttERBY123 Sat 28-Nov-15 22:34:00

We have a deadlock, yale lock and gigantic bolt, inherited, on our front door. Deadlock only for when we go out. Bolt at night. So in the event of fire etc we get out at the front by yale and unbolting.

Patio door at the back - just a key but it is not in lock but out of sight on floor under curtain. Everyone knows where it is but there are windows either side in event of fire anyway.

Luckygirl, why not have key under the inside mat, a spare one? Our front door has had a small pane of glass broken to put hand in to open door - before our time.

Luckygirl Sat 28-Nov-15 22:13:09

We have an ongoing disagreement about the key in our front door. I say we should leave it in at night to make it easy to get out in the event of a fire. He wants it removed in case a thief breaks the glass to get it or fishes it out via the letter box. Now, if someone did try that they would: deserve a medal for finding us (we live in the middle of nowhere); have to avoid the burglar alarm; have to fail to set the security lights off (which floodlight our bedroom!) - I just don't get it!

soontobe Sat 28-Nov-15 22:04:50

My DH is not like that.

When you say a spate of break-ins, did that happen to you, or people you know, or neighbours?

overthehill Sat 28-Nov-15 21:24:43

My husband, looks on all strangers as potential thieves and villains. We do have a friend who is similar.

Say the council for example put in security cameras somewhere he will say "won't be long before a vandal destroys those" perhaps a new wall will go up somewhere "there'll be graffiti on that before you know it".

He believes we are going to be robbed, broken into etc. etc. I don't like to tempt fate but although we live in London and yes there are break-ins occasionally, it's not downtown Johannesburg here.

I am grateful for the burglar alarm we have fitted as we did have a spate of break-ins a couple of years back. We do as well have a dummy camera on the front door a working one on the back of our garage, little spikes of plastic (with sign to warn) on the garage roof and then today he remarked burglars could, if they could get entry to the garden remove fence panels and he's seen some devices which locks them in place. Thankfully, he is not going down that avenue.

I'm not burying my head in the sand although he would probably disagree but I can't spend time worrying about what might happen.