Gransnet forums


Why am I the cat's mother?

(57 Posts)
Katek Tue 15-Dec-15 19:16:55

I'm a lifelong cat owner, have had dogs in the past, rabbits, ponies and any number of small rodents when the children were young, but I am not -nor ever was - their mum! I find it so annoying when people talk about being their pet's mum or dad or even post FB posts of dogs with their 'baby brothers' (human infants). Do they refer to their pets as their son/daughter as well? I have loved all my animals and my heart is broken when one dies, but I am their owner - not a relation! Too much blurring of the lines.

Wheniwasyourage Tue 15-Dec-15 19:20:21

Hear hear! I can't stand seeing people letting their dogs lick - sorry, "kiss" - them. Just think of the other things that dogs lick. Yuck! Dogs don't do kisses anyway.

Katek Tue 15-Dec-15 19:24:58

Or lick the babies!!

mcem Tue 15-Dec-15 19:29:09

Have made it very clear to dog/cat owning Ds and 2 Dds that there will be no presents for pets, nor will there be cards signed Gran!
They're the pets of my offspring, not additional furry Dgcs.

Katek Tue 15-Dec-15 19:33:13

That's the other thing that gets to me.,...calling them furkids or furbabies!

hildajenniJ Tue 15-Dec-15 19:34:33

Quite! I have owned three dogs since being married and have never regarded myself as their mother! Leader of the pack yes!!

Alima Tue 15-Dec-15 20:30:47

We do regard our pets as extended family I suppose. Not in a twee kind of way, any mention of mummy or daddy is said purely as mickey taking.Our cats do sort of get presents at Christmas in the guise of turkey, gammon etc. Our Springer Gemma got a bit carried away one Christmas and unwrapped a pair of earrings, not meant for her I hasten to add. (The would have been lost in amongst the curls on her ears).

Jane10 Tue 15-Dec-15 20:56:32

Hmmmm. I have a DGK (dear grandkitten)! Our first cat was formally adopted. He was given to us by a social worker who gave us all the official paperwork for a laugh. However I do regard our cats as friends but also as part of the family. Obviously you'll think I'm daft but we're happy!

Katek Tue 15-Dec-15 21:19:01

Oh they're part of my family as well-just not my children!!

grannyactivist Tue 15-Dec-15 23:46:26

My daughter and son in law have three dogs and until recently they were most definitely their 'babies'. This year, after many years of marriage and reversing a previous decision never to do so, they had a real life actual baby! My daughter's priorities have firmly shifted and she's now a doting mother with her other 'babies' suddenly becoming pets. Not sure about my son in law though..... tchhmm

Iam64 Wed 16-Dec-15 07:58:46

I used to feel like you Katek, didn't want to be known as my dogs 'mum', but I'm gradually losing the battle. The lovely trainer I work with refers to all the women in our group as their dog's 'mum' and the one chap as his dogs 'dad'. I've found it contagious - I'll never call my dogs fur babies though, draw the line at that. Plus, I'd never suggest to any of the dog walkers I meet regularly on walks as their dogs parents.
Is weeping at Black Beauty another sign I'm losing it smile

feetlebaum Wed 16-Dec-15 08:11:54

I thought I was at last going to fathom the mystery of those women who, when referred to, correctly, in the third person as 'she' instantly yelp "Who's she? The cat's mother?" But no, that's for another day.

I can remember being vastly entertained by making up dialogue for our pets to be 'saying' - never quite sure why the Cairn Terrier had an Essex accent, but still...

Talking to the cat when it's an irascible 'Mummy' you are really trying to contact is a common technique - Al Read used to do it in his radio shows sometimes - "I don't think Mummy's very happy about something, Puss!"

Indinana Wed 16-Dec-15 08:21:49

Oh dear, my DD has always been her dog's 'mummy'. This, I know, came about through her yearning to have a child of her own - as time went by she became convinced this would never happen and she filled the gap in her life with her lovely black lab. Then this year her longed-for DD was born, so she really is a mummy now. But the one thing that upset her throughout her pregnancy was the thought of her much-loved dog being pushed out, losing her place in DD's heart. So the dog is still very pampered and loved. And DD is still her mummy blush

Jaxie Wed 16-Dec-15 10:10:30

I have never got over the death of my cat, Christabel ( see portrait, she was never that fat; artist's licence) . My daughter referred to her as "your furry daughter" which is ridiculous, but she did wind us round her furry paws. What I learned from her is the importance of the natural world, and the need to show respect to animals.

Indigoblue Wed 16-Dec-15 12:00:55

When my 17 year old cat died, I felt as if I had lost a good friend, who put up with my quirks (at least most of them). It's been two years and I still miss her. She was a good friend.

Katek Wed 16-Dec-15 12:13:52

That's exactly how I cats are friends and very much loved companions, but they are not my children.

witchygran Wed 16-Dec-15 12:14:53

I have lived with cats and dogs almost all my life and never considered myself to be their owner. They were my companions and I adored each and every one of them. They were part of the family, gave us love, loyalty and so much fun. My daughter and grand-daughter in their turn, learnt to love and respect animals because of them. They were there for me during the worst and best times of my life. Does it matter whether we consider ourselves to be owners or parents? The important thing is that we love them and treat them well. May I please add one thing - when looking for an animal companion, please look at rescue animals first. There are so many out there looking for a good home and believe me, they will repay you with so much love and loyalty. (Sorry to have gone on rather!)

Jane10 Wed 16-Dec-15 12:16:00

Jaxie what a terrific picture! How did you find the artist? Christabel looks to have been a wonderful character.

annsixty Wed 16-Dec-15 12:44:53

When I visit my friend who adopted a cat earlier this year I am referred to as Aunty Ann. The cat sits on my lap all the time I am there.

Alima Wed 16-Dec-15 13:35:32

Indigoblue I know exactly how you feel. All our cats have been special, they each have their own character. One of them, Jess, was somehow extra special. She followed me everywhere, talked to me and was always there, a good friend. When she died, 6 years and two days ago, I was heartbroken. There won't be another Jess.

GrandmaPaula1 Wed 16-Dec-15 14:02:21

I find it sad that so many of you seem to be very judgemental. Why not concentrate on things that bring you joy rather than criticising people who see their pets as close family members. It's not illegal you know. My little boy, Sox and I wish you all a happy Christmas.

Katek Wed 16-Dec-15 14:26:54

I don't see it as judgemental Paula....I am not a cat, ergo I am not a cat's mother. Fact, not judgement. All this furkid/babies stuff is part of anthropomorphising animals. They have their own lives-we shouldn't be imposing our human values on them.

Smileless2012 Wed 16-Dec-15 14:46:30

Well I have 4 'babies', 2 cats and 2 dogs. My eldest dog came from my parents because they could no longer look after him and sadly due to them both being unwell he became neglected. He's a little grumpy old man and we love him dearly; just like Mr. S.tchgrin

The 2 cats were a birthday pressie from Mr. S. which I received just a few months before our family troubles began. Having their companionship during those desperately sad months helped me get through the lonely days when Mr. S. was at work and I was home alone thinking of what should have been.

The latest arrival, this summer, has bought us both so much happiness that we couldn't imagine our home without him.

I buy them little toys for Christmas, our old dog always finds his under the tree and loves to rip the paper off and when we come back from holiday and bring home from the kennels he always looks expectantly for his gift.

I've bought a new collar for each of our DS's dogs in Aus. for Christmas and even came across 'doggy Christmas' wrapping paper complete with gift tags with the word "woof" printed on them; fabuloustchgrin.

Marmark1 Wed 16-Dec-15 15:16:13

Ours is like a baby,(crack pot that I am)spoilt rotten,sleeps on the bed.Lays in my arms like a baby.Too bleddy late now.

Katek Wed 16-Dec-15 15:24:30

He/she does look v festive in their smart coat!