Texting birth announcements

Hear, hear, anno.

GS2 was born at about 9.30pm but I didn't find out till the following morning. SiL couldn't get a phone signal at the hospital and by the time they got home at 2.30 am they thought we would be in bed asleep (True!) I took GS1 home at about 8am and found both of them in bed with GS2 I had presumed she must still be in the throes of a protracted labour but he had popped out in a couple of hours.

We are really spoiled aren't we by good communication systems! When my mum had my brother in the 60s she was in Africa so family in UK (including me at boarding school) had to wait for an airmail letter!

I think a text would have saved time..sent to all in one go... when the new family were in a bit of a tizz following a stressful time.

I was lucky to be with DD2 for her first baby but DD1/SiL sent a text when their babies arrived. I was in hospital when DD2 had 2nd baby and got the news at next visiting time!

I really recommend you try hard not to dwell on the style of how the news was communicated but focus on the joy of having a lovely new grandchild and do not jeopardise future fun and happiness over a decision made at a stressful time for the new parents.

Dear all,

I think I have been 'cured' of any sense of 'dwelling' with what made me sad, thank you.

Lots of empathetic and sensible advice, from a variety of perspectives. That is when GN is at its best. There is clearly a breadth of opinion about what is or is not reasonable.

I think I will always belong to the camp that does not see a text as good communication, but depending on circumstances I can see that for some it would be very valuable. So much depends on circumstance.

Signing off from this for good now.

DH always prefers a 'phone call, no matter what. He doesn't understand "mobile" 'phones. Often if I text him or ring him when he's out, his 'phone is in the kitchen. On the other hand, I'm "down" with the kids, texting and whatsapping and I rarely speak on the 'phone. It's the way of things now and it's no use fighting it.

I wonder if "the camp that does not see texting as good communication" is the same camp that will not see whatever technology that replaces texting as good communication, and the same that would rather have a had a person visiting with news than a letter, and rather a letter than a telegram, and rather a phone call than a message via facebook or text?

Basically, it's a way of whining, a way of saying you (that's an impersonal you; I'm talking about an idea now, nor any particular person) want something different from what you have been given.

Some people are never happy, always focussing on what they dislike about the means of communication instead of on the actual meat of the message. In its worst forms I regard this as a kind of emotional blackmail, a method of trying to exert control over how other people behave.

Before texting came in, it was "They couldn't be bothered coming to visit me, they just phoned"

I think that texting is an excellent way to communicate, but only when the sender is able to express themselves clearly. Unfortunately a lot of texts are quite ambiguous, and can cause confusion, amongst other things.

The development of technology that enhances communication is a good thing. It also raises expectations, which is not necessarily a good thing, when those expectations are not met.
I honestly cannot remember how I received the news of the birth of any of my grandchildren. I have no mobile connection where I live, the Internet is unpredictable - we have a land line though which is a little more constant.
Time zones also impact.
What I'm trying to say is that from my perspective, the concept of having instant information about the major life events of any of my family is close to zero.
The thing is, I just know that my adult children have my best interests at heart, and will contact me as and when.

Of course the immediate period after especially a difficult labour is time for the new parents and their baby. And the thing about a text is that it can be sent to more than one person. The proud Dad is better to be with his wife and baby than out in a hospital corridor disturbing people with his mobile phone!!
I was looking after the DGSs when DD went into hospital shortly after midnight to have number 3. SIL sent a text and picture to the other granny and me simultaneously a very few hours later. We were then on the phone to each other, of course, and SIL came home mid morning to shower etc.
My point? He was totally evenhanded with both sides of the family, we got to see DGD or a picture of her and her mummy a very short time after she was born, and they had those first precious hours together.
We are not the most important people in their lives, even if they are to us. You learn this with your first grandchild and if you think back, Twas ever thus.

When DGS was on the way we left DD with SIL in the hospital because things seemed to be going very slowly. We then spent many anxious hours waiting to hear if the baby had arrived safely and didn't hear anything. When we phoned the hospital we were just told that things were progressing and as we were staying in a nearby hotel decided to go to bed, sleep and walk along to the hospital first thing the next morning. When we arrived we found a very poorly DD who had spent two hours in surgery and was still completely 'out of it', DGS sleeping peacefully and SIL's parents sitting smiling in DD's room; they had been there since the crack of dawn.

So I think a text letting all the grandparents know at the same time was probably a good idea Imperfect27, fair all round.

I would have been upset too. DD and son-in-law didn't ring me for hours after my first grandson was born. I was quite upset at the time. Still am when I think about it, even though I know they would have both been quite overwhelmed with it all. I think as mums, we get very emotionally involved. So our feelings are quite raw at the time.

I was more upset when the midwife sent DH home because everything had gone quiet with my labour, saying I would be transferred to the main hospital the next morning and induced. DS arrived suddenly in the middle of the night but the midwife 'forgot' to phone DH and let him know. It was only when I said that the next morning that I was surprised DH hadn't been in to see me that she 'remembered' she hadn't phoned and told him he was a father (again).

Well, I wasn't 'more upset' actually, because I was more upset about DD when she had DGS.

I totally agree that there is absolutely no need for rudeness . Seems to me that there is more and more of it these days when people post . I often wonder if it's because it's all just online and would they dare be so brave to say these things to your face ?

GS1 was expected just after Christmas. Arrived by caesarean in emergency circumstances late one night in mid-October. Living in central London they could be quickly at a well equipped hospital. Neither mother nor baby were out of danger for several hours and days respectively.

The first I knew was when SiL rang me next morning. He must have had a harrowing night. I was 100 miles away and don't drive. I went to see them the following day, the baby's chances were improved from the initial 50-50 by then.

Until reading this thread it had not occurred to me that he might have phoned me sooner. I am content that he did the right thing for everyone in very difficult circumstances. We were all just so thankful that a bad situation ended well.

I'll never forget seeing that tiny fragile baby for the first time. By his due date he had even been at home in time for Christmas.

How different things might have been in a different century or continent.

I don't think our adult children have the slightest idea how absolutely visceral our responses are to knowing that they are in trouble, whether a health problem, an emotional upset, an accident, a financial issue or whatever. It is only when they become parents themselves and experience the same levels of anxiety, even fear, combined with a terrible sense of helplessness about their own children's troubles that they begin to understand. I can't speak for all my own generation but I was certainly oblivious of how much anxiety my parents suffered at my hands until my infinitely precious absentdaughter came along.

Very true absent. I look upon my relationships with my M and F through a new lens now - changed again with the advent of grannydom,

Sometimes a 'to the point'comment it is just the thing you need to make you reflect on your own opinion/point ...like smelling salts when people fainted!

Personally, I like letters written with a quill and ink and hand delivered by a smartly attired footman.

Texting is now the most popular form of communicating.

Could the footman be changed to a fireman?

This post was a big learning curve for me and I did value being made to stop and think even if I didn't always appreciate the method ...

I think all my angst came out of the history of losing my DD2. I think that is what it was - deep anxiety that put me off kilter for a while.

If someone texted me with important information or news I would probably never know for weeks, the DC got exasperated then gave up

Yes, grannydom does make us look back on our relationship with our DP through new eyes.

Yes, you may have a fireman ( no extra charge.)
Worry can make us all go out of kilter at times.

absent I think they are always on our minds to a greater or lesser degree whereas it is not the same for them - their own DC will be the ones on their minds.