Gransnet forums

AIBU

It was my job..

(34 Posts)
M0nica Tue 19-Apr-16 17:09:10

A lot of men feel at a loose end when they retire and have no interests and hobbies to fall back on. If your DH has also been ill, Tanith, he may be feeling lost and not be sure what his place in the home is.

Could you encourage him to take part in local activities basedon his interests? If he is into practical activities, you could find out if there is a local 'Men's Shed' menssheds.org.uk/.

DH had plenty to occupy himself when he retired, but missed the camaraderie of the office and used to follow me round all the time he was in the house and hated being left alone if I went out. It wasn't easy.

GrannyPiggy Tue 19-Apr-16 15:51:40

Oh dear
I normally hate it when DH decides to help which normally means take over, especially in the kitchen as I'm very particular to what order to do things ( filling the sink with dirty dishes as I'm about to drain veg grr )
However if I don't really want to do something so make it look like very hard work and he comes to my rescue is another matter
HoHum

LullyDully Tue 19-Apr-16 15:43:07

Nice he is helping....just don't let him do any pruning ( in my experience ) confused

Elegran Tue 19-Apr-16 15:35:57

I think you need to say something to stop him doing this BEFORE you get so annoyed that it comes out bad-tempered. Perhaps bring the conversation round to how much you enjoy doing it, and what good exercise it is for your hip to do it a bit at a time so you would rather he didn't take over etc etc.

Charleygirl Tue 19-Apr-16 15:03:14

Seriously, I agree with Jane10- I am aware that he had major surgery last year but he must find a hobby or two which he can do himself or with others and not necessarily trail after you.

I think in future do not tell him that you are going to cut the grass after going shopping etc. just come home and do it.

tanith Tue 19-Apr-16 15:03:03

Jane10he has plenty of activities of his own, he is trying to help me as I'm suffering with my hip smile I'm feeling touchy and in pain I guess..
Charleygirl next time he's got time on his hands I point him in your direction..wink

Jane10 Tue 19-Apr-16 14:58:23

No you're not! Its irritating for you maybe because it sounds like he can't think of what to do for himself. Time he found some activities of his own.

Charleygirl Tue 19-Apr-16 14:57:48

tanith could I pick him up please and bring him here to do some work? He would be an asset, be appreciated and I would tell him so!

tanith Tue 19-Apr-16 14:54:22

OH has never shown interest in the garden apart from occasional mowing if I'm suffering with my back. Since the nice weather has come (he retired last year) he keeps 'helping' me in the garden. I only have to say I might trim that or cut that etc etc only to find him out there getting out the tools..
This morning I happened to say I was going to spend some time out the front to cut the grass and tidy up after I got a hair cut. Come home from the hairdresser to find the front grass cut and him cleaning the mower.. oh! says he, I've cut the grass for you.. thanks! says I wishing he left it alone I quite enjoy mowing in the sunshine. Well I also wanted to seed some patches on the front lawn and started getting a few bits together and walked out the front to find him following me with a rake to 'help' me , I muttered something about I can bloody do it myself...
Now I feel bad as he was only trying to help but I don't want him to take over my garden...
What a cow I am grin