adult daughter not happy about my forthcoming marriage

I had the same problems with my future husband's daughter.I think she felt she had everything to lose and nothing to gain...as,having divorced her husband and having problems,financially and otherwise she relied heavily on her father.Other members of the family reasoned with her that her father's future happiness was at stake.She gradually came to see me as a friend and not a threat, I am glad to say.Every blessing to you.

Be kind to her, but be firm.

She is old enough to find her own support in handling her feelings. Is she in touch with a support group? You can't let her problems spoil your life. She will get used to your new arrangements given time.

Gransnet is funny. When people complain about problems with the partners and families of offspring, people say: Back off; live your own life! When people complain about offspring not liking them getting on with their own lives, people say: Consider the adult children!

I agree with bags. It's your life and your happiness you need to be thinking about. Just carry on with your plans. At twenty six she is old enough to sort her own feelings out. Best wishes to you.

She's had two years to get used to the chap and with her mother's relationship with him. She may need professional help with her problem. It's still none of her business and I think it would help her if she understood that.

I didn't say her problems were her fault, jalima, nor do I necessarily think they are, but they are not her mother's fault either, and although the daughter may not be intending to be rude, that is in fact what is happening. It really isn't any of her business.

Besides, what other approach than shrugging it off is practical?

Children with dyspraxia may behave immaturely even though they typically have average or above-average intelligence. Kids don’t outgrow dyspraxia.
So her reactions may not be those one would expect from someone who does not have her problems.

Ooh, I think that's a bit harsh thatbags

She may be 26 but she lost her father at a sensitive age and if she doesn't really know her future step-father then she may feel apprehensive and worried about her relationship with her mother when mum re-marries, as well as any relationship with a step-father. Ziggy also said that she has a new job and has moved to a new area - further away from her DD? Does DD need support as she has dispraxia or can she cope well by herself?

I agree, I don't think she should be unkind to her sil or cause disruption, but I think she will need some tlc and perhaps some heart-to-heart chats with her mum to enable her to rationalise her feelings.

Hope all goes well.

That's a good suggestion, gknot.

Put bluntly, it isn't really any of your daughter's business, ziggy, whether you get married again and she certainly has no business being difficult about it. In short, she's being rude. I think grannyknot is quite right and you should just get on with your plans calmly and quietly and try to shrug off your daughter's difficultness. Some people just are difficult when they needn't be.

Congratulations on your impending nuptials. I am sorry that your DD is struggling with this. Please try not to let it spoil your day.

Congrats from me too

I know this is off topic but my friend makes me laugh by referring to "Fussbook fighting". It really is more trouble than it's worth sometimes.

I'd just carry on with my plans, put my happiness first, and then maybe ask my daughter at some point "Do you wanna talk about it?" (as Liz suggests).

Has she spent time alone with him or only when you are there?
If she hasn't I would suggest that they get to know each other without you around.

That emoji was supposed to be

Firstly congratulations ?
I could way off the mark here but is it possible she's a little jealous? I don't mean of your fiance but of your happiness as a couple. Does she or has she ever had a partner ?

It may sound silly, but have you tried talking it over with her?
I'm pleased you met someone. When I got divorced, the last thing I wanted was another man but I met a lovely one and fortunately my daughters seemed ok with this.