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Two year old walking behind mummy on a main rd

(54 Posts)
Nannyjay68 Mon 06-Jun-16 21:31:21

AIBU to think that its wrong for a two year old child to be walking at least 20 paces behind mum whilst mum is pushing an empty pushchair on a busy m ain rd with lots of traffic?,have parenting skills really changed so much?I am. all for little ones having a bit of independence,but really.

Luckygirl Mon 06-Jun-16 21:47:49

That would worry me too. There is a lot to be said for reins - or even just holding a hand.

Thingmajig Mon 06-Jun-16 21:56:26

That's an accident waiting to happen!

I know that the 2 year old in our life runs away at the least opportunity and has no real understanding of the danger of traffic or being lost yet. She has my old heart in my mouth even away from any traffic. The wee whippet had Grandad running at full pelt to catch her in the sea-life centre a few weeks ago. grin

Either in the buggy or use reins (such cute ones available now!)anywhere busy.

Common sense, surely!

Indinana Mon 06-Jun-16 21:56:39

You are definitely not being unreasonable. How would that mum know if someone grabbed the tot and ran off with him/her? Very worrying - if it were my GC I would not be happy.

Charleygirl Mon 06-Jun-16 22:06:14

If they were walking in the same direction of the traffic it would not take 2 minutes for a car to stop and the passenger whip the child in it and away. The mother would not notice until it was too late.

Elegran Mon 06-Jun-16 22:10:06

Someone grabbing the tot is on the list of possibilities, but right at the top of the list is that they could step off the kerb into the traffic.

Nannyjay68 Mon 06-Jun-16 22:41:03

I don't under stand myself why they can't hold the child's hand or get reins,it takes a second for that child to run into the road or get snatched, then all hell would brake loose,just because a mummy is rushing about.

Pippa000 Tue 07-Jun-16 06:45:09

My DS & DiL seemed very reluctant to use reins when the GC were smaller, although there was never any comment when I put them on the children. (I always had a set in my ever expanding handbag) Perhaps it is another generational thing?

LullyDully Tue 07-Jun-16 08:46:15

What worries me with the scenario is the parent is often on a mobile. Saw a dad on a station platform his phone while his 5.year old ran round, jumped on the seat, turned round and round a lamppost at speed untill dizzy. She had such fun .I didn't take my eyes off her. What's wrong with talking to a child?

Children frightened me rushing around on the pavement after school when they are suddenly free. We had a joke with GS..."walls.and hedges" if he strayed too near to the kerb.

A 2 year old however needs a hand or a rein as they have no road.sense.

Lilyflower Tue 07-Jun-16 10:40:14

No two year old can be trusted alone on a road, nor in any hazardous situation for that matter. I was a worrywart of a parent and insisted on my children being strapped into a buggy or holding my hand on the inside of the pavement for years. Even now, when they are in their twenties I walk on the outside.

I cannot believe how stupid and selfish some parents are about looking after their children. Seeing poor babies and toddlers in buggies with bare feet in the cold makes my blood boil. Usually the parents are amply shod when their babies are barefoot. Grrr!

RobtheFox Tue 07-Jun-16 11:07:07

Some thirty odd years ago I, a man then in middle age, was walkıng on my own through a park in Ilfracombe when suddenly my hand was gripped by that of a little gırl about three or four years of age. Just ahead was a mıxed group of adults all chattering away as they walked along. I called out to them and one rushed up to claim a slightly bewildered little gırl.

To this day I shudder to think what mıght have been and than god that it was my hand she gripped and not.......

Granny2016 Tue 07-Jun-16 11:23:54

Shortly after moving house,I took hold of a 3 year old who toddled in front of a slow moving refuse lorry,while her mother walked on a way in front
I told her to take more care of her child.
She replied that she did,and I responded "apparently not".
Imagine how I felt a few weeks later when I saw that she lived across the road.
Lucky really,as some time later I was able to dash over and bang on her window while she was on the phone ,to tell her that her 2 young daughters were screaming for help,and hanging on to the one year old by her feet ,from an upstairs window!!!
She dropped the phone and dashed upstairs.....needless to say we were never on friendly terms.
The surprise is that she was a loving mum with a professional husband ,who I expect to have more sense.
All small children should be on reins when out and about.

Sheilasue Tue 07-Jun-16 11:27:02

Quite understand about this when mine were little the reins were always on and not attached to the wrist either proper ones around the middle of the tum. Also mums are very fond of talking and texting on phone and not paying attention to kids.

Shinyredcar Tue 07-Jun-16 11:32:27

It is difficult nowadays with children running about on their own. I saw a small girl in tears, aged about 3 or 4, in the market place which was very busy. I looked around for a police officer but there wasn't one around. I spoke to the child who took my hand and said she had lost Mummy, Gran and Auntie. She couldn't remember where she had been last time she saw them. I tried to find out what they might have been wearing, but that was impossible. I thought three distraught women should be easy to spot, so we set off together to look around the market precinct and after about five minutes I found a PCSO and was just starting to explain the situation when I noticed a group of three women engrossed in conversation. I pointed them out to the child, who immediately gave me a hug and pulled me to go to talk to them. Mother looked up and just said, "Where have you been?" I started to say I had found her daughter some distance away, lost, and Mother started shrieking, "Get off her, let go of her!" and generally making a scene. The PCSO intervened, and I just walked away. It was upsetting in many ways.

But to return to the OP, for me, as a driver, it is terrifying to see very young children skipping about on their own ignored by the adult they are with. I could not live with myself if they ran in front of my car.

Maggiemaybe Tue 07-Jun-16 11:36:49

Blood and sand, Shinyredcar, that's ridiculous, and just the sort of attitude that makes people wary of intervening. I hope the PCSO gave her a proper telling off and a bit of childcare advice.

angie95 Tue 07-Jun-16 13:03:37

It is wrong for a child to be toddling behind a parent, it takes less than a second, for a child to go missing, look at little Jamie Bulger,, I see it a lot in The Trafford Center and that place is so busy,, I made my two wear little reins, and hold my hand or the pram,, I agree Maggiemaybe, lets hope the PCSO gave her hell!

angie95 Tue 07-Jun-16 13:05:01

I always made my two wear reins too Luckygirl

rosesarered Tue 07-Jun-16 13:14:25

There have always been poor parents, what I see a lot of, is parents so deep in their phones/ messages etc when walking along ( and driving along) and sitting in cafes, that their children are bored or getting into mischief and are mainly ignored.

Parsleywin Tue 07-Jun-16 13:37:16

I had a helluva fright recently when a mum, engrossed in a phone call, stepped out buggy first from between parked cars. Mercifully, I was going slowly enough to do an effective emergency stop. She merely half-glanced round towards my car, and just continued talking and crossing the road.
The thought of what might have happened had me shaking for quite a while. She appeared unperturbed!

michellehargreaves Tue 07-Jun-16 13:40:14

I was driving and coming to my left turn. I saw a toddler running along the pavement, mother on phone 30 yards behind. I slowed right down fearing the child wouldn't stop at the pavement edge. The mother is now running and shouting at the child to stop. She didn't, but I had foreseen the accident waiting to happen and had stopped.The mother grabbed the child and shouted at her. That's when I let the window down and told the mother it was her (the mother's ) fault. I got a V sign. Dreadful,dreadful parenting on every level.

TheGlovers1 Tue 07-Jun-16 13:45:48

I frequently see this kind of poor parenting displayed by mothers of small children ,often whilst the mothers are staring at their phones the child who is too young to have any understanding of danger running behind.I consider this to be highly dangerous and negligent behaviour on behalf of the parent and feel it should be treated as. Safeguarding concern as these little children are at significant risk.

Hattiehelga Tue 07-Jun-16 15:11:10

You can't beat the old fashioned "reins" to keep a toddler safe but at the same time give them a bit of freedom.

ElroodFan Tue 07-Jun-16 16:21:28

Agree child should be under Mother's watchful eye, but my pet beef is Mothers who walk along the road with earphones in presumably listening to music. I saw one young Mother walking with her toddler like this , the child was saying Mummy Mummy and Mother was
walking along oblivious to the fact that child was trying to talk to her.

ajanela Tue 07-Jun-16 17:11:21

We all think this is dangerous Nannyjay68 but have you done anything to protect the child? Bit late when he/she goes under a car. Talking with the mother and pointing out the dangers is the best you could do. If you know where they live you could make an anonymous call to social services or NSPCC as this is child endangerment not jus letting them have a bit of dependence. Any othe suggestions from anyone?

Rosina Tue 07-Jun-16 17:11:48

Lots of children now (my 2yr old DG included) wear little lightweight 'back packs' with a strap attached like a dog lead. He tootles along, happily convinced that he is 'free', and can also carry a small drink in his pack which seems to make him feel very important. I do agree - children running loose is a frightening and all too common sight. They can veer into the road in seconds, and a terrible life changing (for everyone) accident is unstoppable.

As for the appalling parents who blame everyone else when their child is killed or injured, I cannot believe what some of them say. Years ago I read in our local paper of a small boy who was rescued by fireman as he was hanging from the gutter of a top floor flat, having climbed out. Mother's excuse? (Printed in the paper) 'It's the Council's fault - they built the windows too close to the roof'. What can you say about that mentality?