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AIBU

Two year old walking behind mummy on a main rd

(55 Posts)
Nannyjay68 Mon 06-Jun-16 21:31:21

AIBU to think that its wrong for a two year old child to be walking at least 20 paces behind mum whilst mum is pushing an empty pushchair on a busy m ain rd with lots of traffic?,have parenting skills really changed so much?I am. all for little ones having a bit of independence,but really.

Maggiemaybe Fri 28-Jul-17 11:08:17

Aargh! Another resurrected old thread! I'm going to have to start looking at the original date before reading. I was working through the first page and was about to comment on Shinyredcar's experience before I saw that I already had, last year. It doesn't say much for my memory, does it?

valeriej43 Fri 28-Jul-17 10:15:42

This struck a chord with me, my son had a friend who had a little boy about 4 years old, and a young baby,only a few weeks old
One day they were walking across a busy main road,the little boy tagging behind, the mum further back with baby in pram
All of a sudden a motorbike came tearing down the road, hit little boy then carreered acros the road nd hit baby in the prahe was in , both children died
The mother had a breakdown, and the father tried to commit suicide several times,and was in and out of mental hospital all his life after that
The couple split up, the mother met someone else and had another baby
The father bacame an alcoholic, and i heard a few weeks ago he was dead,not sure if its true, but can easily believe it
How does someone cope with that,
All because he wasnt holding the childs hand across a busy road

jenpax Thu 27-Jul-17 22:54:45

In response to the comment about tots without socks.My eldest daughter as a baby and a toddler hated anything on her feet, she pulled socks and shoes off and kicked away blankets. It didn't matter if it was cold or raining, she still did it. I lost count of the number of lost shoes and booties as well as socks we suffered in her tiny years! in the end we gave up and she did not suffer from hypothermia! She is now a professional woman in her 30's with two small daughters of her own! So before you judge parents with sockless infants please consider that!

Jalima1108 Thu 27-Jul-17 14:14:22

Those little backpacks with a rein attached are very good; they can carry their own little drink and snack in them too and they don't look like the old-fashioned reins.

Tegan2 Thu 27-Jul-17 13:59:15

I doubt if we ever drive anywhere without one of us noticing a small child near to a road not being watched properly by their parent/carer [usually on a phone]. Along with their parent/carer not talking to them [again because of being on a phone]. I do hear comments such as 'well, they have to learn' [learn what; that it's not a good idea to have an argument with a moving vehicle?].

Imperfect27 Thu 27-Jul-17 12:39:48

Nannyjay how sad and worrying! Seems such a basic level of care to get so badly wrong. I always held a hand by a main road - and side roads too - until the children were past school start age.

I think mobile phones / ipods / etc. have a lot to do with this laxity. Some parents seem more interested in listening to music / catching up on their phones than talking to their children and I fear watching them safely falls into the same abyss.

Feeling like a grumpy old woman all of a sudden - but really, - it should just be common sense ...

IHaveAFabulousDIL Thu 27-Jul-17 11:43:35

My Gd is a bolter.(just like her father was). Luckily for all of us, my ds and Dil are happy to use reins. The reins they have these days are lovely, and gd loves them.
I think I would have to say something if I saw this happening and brave the (inevitable) abuse.

FarNorth Thu 27-Jul-17 11:41:22

It's nothing new. There have always been parents who lack sense.

whitewave Thu 27-Jul-17 11:35:54

Reins!!

mrsmopp Thu 27-Jul-17 11:25:24

Absolutely definitely use reins. Remember what happened to Jamie Bulger.
Parents need eyes in the back of their heads where small children are concerned and much better to be safe than sorry

BlueBelle Wed 26-Jul-17 18:55:30

A young teen I know saw a child on reins the other day and said to me look at that it's awful she's got a baby on a leash like a dog I had to explain All mine were on reins and then as they got a bit older they held the side of the pram or my hand never free by a road and only a few paces away in a park

Newquay Wed 26-Jul-17 18:41:25

Funnily enough I was walking along the other day when a young couple came towards me with a baby in a pushchair with a toddler some yards behind them. I was so tempted to point out the dangers to them. . . .

mutti Wed 26-Jul-17 17:55:06

I've just discovered this thread while clearing old emails and I so agree with the sentiments expressed. Reins are a wonderful aid to walking with a toddler, and mobile phones - while useful if one needs to contact someone on the move - are such a tempting distraction it seems for today's parents. I like the idea of public service ads .. perhaps powerful bodies like the Women's Institute, the Mothers' Union and Mumsnet could lobby for them. Mumsnet could also possibly be influential in directly advocating the use of reins and trying to persuade today's parents not to remain glued to their mobiles when out with their children. The NCT and hospital/local authority maternity services could push this message too.

Clickgran Sun 12-Jun-16 21:36:19

Child safety should be high on all parents agenda, but apparently not, especially when driving my car and parents allow children as young as two + to run on the edge of a road or up to a crossing, when they are far away and would not be able to stop the child falling on to the road or crossing it if the impulse takes them. It always leaves me cold to think of what could happen.

Tegan Fri 10-Jun-16 16:35:33

We were stood looking out over the Grand Canyon a couple of year ago; there is a very thin fence [just a couple of wires really]but the man next to us, who had a toddler with him, was just letting him run around. We had to walk away and not look back as we didn't want to get into an argument with his father. I still feel sick thinking about it [so does the S.O.].Would have blamed myself if anything had happened.

Nelliemoser Fri 10-Jun-16 15:55:39

I dont know what happened to reins either. They were so useful when out in the street in traffic.
It's so easy for a small hand to just wriggle loose from yours.

I think some younger parents have a misguided idea about it being demeaning to put a toddler on a lead like a dog.

The chest supported reins were much better and the did get a bit of the impression they were walking by themselves.

garnet25 Thu 09-Jun-16 23:23:10

I definatetly agree with the use of reins, my two were quite happy wearing them and toddlers not having any notice taken of them is a disgrace I used to chat to mine about whet was going on around them. However one of my pet hates is seeing 3-4 year olds still being pushed around in buggies often eating or playing with their own mobile devices!

mcculloch29 Thu 09-Jun-16 13:54:32

I am a massive reins fan - I particularly like the ones that convert from horse style reins that support novice walkers when they stumble, to dog lead style that control older children.

A little boy was killed fairly locally last year in a hit and run, the full circumstances weren't clear as Mum was on her phone with headphones and oblivious to everything until a car approaching from the other direction got her attention.

She discovered on looking up that her child, running ahead of her to get home quickly, had been killed instantly when he ran in to the road for an unknown reason /fell in to the road in front of a vehicle.
We will never know. The vehicle was never traced.

When I was a registered childminder I was asked by a parent who was a nurse not to use wrist leads as they could easily dislocate a wrist/elbow/shoulder joint.

Falconbird Wed 08-Jun-16 06:28:02

I think this is a generation thing. When my gs was a toddler my dh and I automatically assumed that he would have reins. We even bought some. My dil said she didn't approve of reins and would prefer it if we didn't use them. This involved lots of me and dh running after gs and we were both in our sixties at the time.

All 3 of our children had reins and they were great because it solved a lot of the worry about toddlers running off. I can even vaguelt remember my own reins, they had bells on the front.

One day gs appeared wearing a back pack shaped like a cute animal with a tail (reins by any other name.) smile

ajanela Wed 08-Jun-16 05:31:52

Bijou and banangran3, I think you are both talking about different types of scooters, can just see Bijou flying alongside a tiny tot on her scooter.

baNANAGran3 Wed 08-Jun-16 00:01:32

Scooters are my horror - tiny tots scooting along pavements beside busy traffic. Anything could happen to veer them into the road, yet their mothers seem oblivious. Or maybe it's just me.

LullyDully Tue 07-Jun-16 20:54:19

I think the rucksacks are great as they can put teddy and drink inside and feel grown up. A bit less babysit although serving the same purpose.

Bijou Tue 07-Jun-16 19:31:04

Every week whilst I am shopping in the town centre there are toddlers running loose in front of my scooter while their mothers are on mobile phones. It is very tiring for me because they would say it was my fault if I should run into them.

Kittye Tue 07-Jun-16 18:31:58

phoenix Mine too! grin

phoenix Tue 07-Jun-16 18:29:24

I wish there had been the "backpacks with leads on" when mine were small! Both seemed to think that reins were there for mummy to enable them to play aeroplanes!