guests I don't know

You could make sure that his decision puts him out in some way. Ask him to go to the supermarket sort beds etc. Easier for you and it will allow him to make amends. As someone further up this post says make it an easy meal. Don't put yourself out too much. they are coming to see you and your husband not judge you for your housekeeping or cooking skills.

If it works out well, you have new friends if it doesn't you need not see them again.

Please come back on and let us know what happens

You've had your moan, now cope with it!

Chelseababy - good for you, I hope everyone enjoys the visit especially you! DC have sometimes assumed I'd make someone welcome without (much) notice, I think it shows a touching faith in my abilities!
I do agree that welcoming the world becomes less attractive as one gets older. However, at the same time I miss the surprise, the adrenalin rush of getting the basics in place for unexpected visitors and the slight smugness of having, yet again, coped! Also had I refused I'd have missed out on meeting some interesting people.

Definitely not unreasonable OP.

I'm ok with hosting people I know for a few days max. but I'm not a people pleaser and your DH was wrong to invite them and expect you to host them without consulting you first.

He's only sulking because he knows he's wrong and feeling embarrassed about having to rearrange the event. Tough titty.

I think once you get your head round it, you feel better about it. It's the fact that he didn't ask how you felt about it first that's annoying imho.
I've always felt quite happy once I've got the shopping organised!

Chelsea baby I think you are making the best decision and I totally agree with you about the posts. I don't post much but read a lot of the threads and am amazed that some people (fortunately only a few) think it's OK to be really unpleasant to folk they don't know. But the support is superb!

Don't be a meanie! Get your husband to nip to the supermarket and get a cooked chook, a ready made pudding, some icecream and a nice bottle of NZ wine, make a salad and throw a few spuds in the over to bake and enjoy your evening!

Yes, you never know- maybe new friends for life.

And if you don't get on- then it's only one meal and one night.
Bonne chance.

Thinking about it, my DH must be the msot tolerant ever- as I have invited so many friends, family and total strangers over the years. 3 young musicians last year- for 3 days and even organised a big concert in our field... and a few years back, 3 ladies from a French Forum for 1 week skiing- and so many more over the past 45 years!

I hope you manage to enjoy yourself - at least he is cooking! - and who knows, you may make a new friend.

I should send DH out into the kitchen in the morning to make some nice biscuits.

Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. Its interesting (though not always pleassnt) to see yourself as others see you. I've been stressed at work recently (see occupational health referral thread) and this hadn't helped. Also I'm rubbish at small talk. However, I agree that I over reacted and it would be wrong of me to embarrass MrC so I'm going to make the best of it and hope to have an enjoyable evening and meal. OH will cook the main course and breakfast will be continental style. I'll let you know how it goes.

which reminds me, DH has arranged a meeting here tomorrow, I asked him to buy some 'really nice biscuits' from M&S in the morning. He said 'OK, I'll get a packet of digestives, they're nice'.

Yes, fair enough, although I did have some visitors (friends of DD) come to stay recently, one I had never met before.
And a kitchen full of youngsters - well, young in comprison to me

You are all proudly recounting things you did years ago when you were much younger. Maybe it's a time-of-life thing and chelseababy doesn't feel up to it these days. Fair enough IMO.

Oh yes Jalima- both in the UK and now here- DCs's friends have made our home their own- and same here since we moved. Wonderful.

I'm afraid DH has had to put up with so many of my friends and family coming to stay with us in the UK over the years - if he did ask for any of his friend and family- I would just have to welcome them with open arms, a nice bed, flowers in the rooms and my best cooking and wine (and I have many a time- and due to distance they often come for 1 week or more).

We have had a lot of DC's friends over to stay or for meals
(apparently I am 'Mum' to a lot more than just my own DC!)

Over the years we've had lots of folk for meals, and sometimes to stay for a night or two, who were complete strangers to us. I can't say it's ever really bothered me that much. I go very much on a "take us as you find us" philosophy and that seems to work for me. I've had friends to stay who have been much harder work to cope with!!

This is why I have bed settees. It's not so bad now but I do prefer people staying for a week rather than a day as it justifies the washing of towels and bed linen. I loathe the bed changing process even when it's just us. I had a foot operation and it took 168 steps to change a kingsize bed.

I'm wondering whether all those who advocate taking a hardline with mrChelseababy would be similarly inhospitable towards their DCs' friends.
My DD1 had a habit of collecting people and at various times we had a group of young Swedes staying, some Americans, and most notably a Japanese family who spoke not one word of English. As gaga says, you get a great deal from these experiences.
I was amused and flattered rather than annoyed when one of DD's vaguer, more disorganised friends rang us from the airport one day and said 'Er it's Graham here, could someone come and pick me up?' and proceeded to stay for dinner and sleep on the sitting room floor.

I had to host two Chinese visiting Professors from my DH's university for a meal. They were staying in a hotel and at weekends had been going on coach trips to see something of the country. Their English was reasonable but not fluent. DH felt sorry for them so invited them to come to us one Sunday.

They were fascinated to see a typical family home and we took them to see some of the local sites. One of the things they were most interested in was my flower garden and they took home some seed heads to try and grow in China.

I did not know what to give them to eat so ended up making a roast pork lunch - which they tried and failed to eat with our cutlery so I found some chopsticks for them which made it a lot easier.

The point is I had never met them before, they were from a totally different culture, did not speak very good English BUT they were hugely appreciative, very charming and we all got a great deal from visit. We still talk about them and wonder where their lives have led them.

He probably asked them for a meal and they were reluctant because of the distance or commented one of them wouldn't be able to drink and he has said "oh! you can stay the night my wife will be fine" I know my husband would never do that. I hope you do invite them and it all goes well. Your husband must think a lot of you to feel confident in you to have invited his friends and think you would be happy about it.

Goodness marriage to you must be hard. You treat your husband like a naughty child and are quite happy to embarrass him in front of his friends. Don't you ever invite your friends he has never met to your home or do you have to meet at the pub first.

I also have had lots of my husbands friends to stay who I have never met and it is good to welcome his friends into OUR home.

I do think it's inconsiderate not to have mentioned it to you before making the offer. However, I don't think inviting people for a meal is a big deal but it is a little surprising that he also invited them to stay overnight.

Would he be happy if you did the same thing yourself - i.e. making such an invitation to people he doesn't know?

Either way, is it worth having a row about or causing him embarrassment by having to rescind the invitation?

annsixty I think it was very rude of the wife to make you feel so uncomfortable and to be so unhospitable. However, annoyed she felt, it was wrong of her to take it out on you.

It is his house too, and it is also his kitchen and his bedroom, beds and bedclothes.
Let him do all the work while you get to know your new friends.

Thinking about this again I've realised that over the years DH and I have both turned up at home with all sorts people - sometimes complete strangers to both of us I must be getting very set in my ways in my old age. I particularly remember turning up at home with a czech student I'd met on a coach "Hello dear! She's just coming in for coffee!" and there was the very slight acquaintance I bumped into and greeted with "Hallo, I haven't seen you since you slept on my floor!" His wife didn't look best pleased but I expect he was able to explain.