Mums on their phones

This is all so very sad. Technology is wonderful, and really good for communication too. But there has to be a balance, right? That little person the parents have chosen to bring into the world does not have a choice - their only outlet for communication is the adult present. This especially breaks my heart because I see my DGD so infrequently, and I know her parents are addicted to their phones. Moonbeams, I think you've hit the nail on the head, it's up to the grandparents, now more than ever.

Most pushchairs and buggies have child facing the front away from parent. This makes it more difficult to communicate with the child in the buggie or pushchair.

Not only on buses etc crossing the road as well they walk straight out with the buggy in front with the phone pressed to the ear, dont even use a zebra crossing or traffic lights.

It's all been said - as a grandparent visiting soft play areas etc with my grandchildren, I have been so sad to see parents sitting round the edge on their phones, totally oblivious to their child playing on the equipment. As a granny, I'm watching my grandchildren and encouraging them - and usually find other children asking ME to watch them jumping, going down the slide or whatever because there is no one else to share their sense of achievement with.As many of you have said, there are so many reasons why child and parent are missing out...

I agree with everything being said here too. On the bus into town with DGS (4) we point out things to each other, particularly diggers, cranes and minis (the car), but also police cars, nice flowers etc. On train journeys we take a 'picnic' (basically a sandwich) and play cards or hide and seek as well as looking at things out of the window.
I think his verbal skills are pretty good, but unfortunately Daddy (who has a bit of a stutter) keeps correcting him - particularly for his baby words - so quite often he's a bit stuttery at first... but because I let him get on with it, and also proudly proclaim that I still call motorbikes Pop-pops (for example), he relaxes and speaks perfectly well.
He's fascinated that I still use his baby words!

There is a new cocktail bar in Hove that was on the news recently which uses a Faraday cage to block Mobile phone signals.

The owner said he wanted to force "people to interact in the real world" and remember how to socialise. Force is may be a bit strong but he does have a point. Nothing worse than trying to have a conversation with people who are constantly either checking or answering their mobiles. For me it is sheer bad manners but sadly the norm today.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-36943686

Not only do they not talk to their kids, they don't actually get down on the floor and play with them. When my GS is visiting us or we visit them, we spend most of our time playing with him. The TV is on the whole time, drives us mad, I try and make a rule that it is not on in our house.

I see this all the time, young women walking along a busy road, pushing a pushchair and chatting away on a phone, leaving little children to trail along behind them - with all the dangers of possibly stepping out into the road. What on earth do they find to talk about for so long? And don't get me started about the stupid idiots who haul their children across roads dodging cars because they are too impatient to wait for a safe crossing. While collecting g'dtrs from school, I have rarely seen a mother actively teaching little ones about road safety, but there are plenty of grandparents doing that. And what about the dipsticks in charge of pushchairs who wait to cross roads with the pushchair hanging off the kerb, just asking to be clipped?
Mind you, having got that off my chest, I walked to school on my own while in the infants school, back in the mid fifties, and I know the little boy who lived close by also took himself to and from school. Our mothers didn't seem to worry or be aware of the possible dangers. Were they the equivalent of today's apparently careless mothers? These days they don't even allow infants out of the classroom on their own.

As a car driver, it never ceases to amaze me when I see Mums' with a pushchair carrying their precious little bundles , phone glued to the Mums' ear whereby she is completely lost in conversation with whoever, as they approach a crossing without looking to see what the traffic is doing ( Or not as the case may be ).
However:
This I find the very, very scary bit.
Which one of the above are going to be the most likely victim should a car be unable to stop?
It truly frightens me .

Can anyone tell me why these parents who are constantly on their phones, have children.

I don't have a mobile phone and unless I need to look something up on the internet (eg bus times etc) I don't log on until about 6pm to check emails and that's it. When I took my 5 year old GD to the park last week all the mothers were on mobile phones. Time and time again someone on a phone almost walks into me on the pavement. I use a student bus route and the students are all on phones or have headphones on so conversation with them is impossible. Why do we need WiFi on local buses?? My GD had a pushchair that faced me so we talked all the time. And - there's no TV when she's with me. DH and I don't put the TV on until at least 6pm, sometimes not until C4 news at 7pm and it's often turned off at 8pm.

I've seen them at nursery picking up their children, not even bothering to say hello, just texting on their phones. If not on their phones then they have those headphones on listening to music! And they wonder why their children have speech and language difficulties?! [shakes head]

A friend and I were walking behind a mum who was pushing a pram and had a toddler with her who was falling further and further behind her. She was on the phone. The toddler fell over and she didn't even notice. We had to pick the child up and then yell out to the mother to stop. This was on the pavement of a very busy London road. The mum was completely unconcerned and didn't pause in her conversation!

It's very worrying. Communications skills are very poor in many children starting school, with boys being up to two years behind girls. "OK, but they'll catch up", some parents say. Well they may or may not. Would you leave it to chance? As a Reception class teacher, I'm fully aware of the damage that this lack of communication skills can cause -it could mean that children are playing catch up from day one of starting school. There's a F.R.E.E report at www.mykidsmatter.co.uk that covers the 7 Big Mistakes that many parents unwittingly make that can seriously compromise their child's success at school. A must read if you have a little one under 5.

I talked to mine a lot and my daughter does with hers.

DGS1 had very good speech at around 14/15 mnth.

DGS 2 is slower with his speech but his comprehension is good. His mum talks to him a lot. Probably like my DC1 who only said a little bit here and there until he was 2+ then just started talking in sentences.

I think its about time we had some strong publicity about how important talking to your children is and how damaging failing to do this is.

Brilliant poem micmc - very clever. I'd love to hear it read out in the Geordie dialect.

When these children get to school they are very disadvantaged in comparison to the children who have been talked to. They are behind in their vocabulary, reasoning and social skills. For our children to become successful members of society we must talk to, encourage and nurture them, so that they grow up with a sense of their own identity and that they and other people around them, matter.

As I said in my earlier post. I believe that now more than ever us grandparents have an even more important role to play in the development of our grandchildren. Parents are just so busy now, work, entertainment, phones, computers, ipads etc. etc. I believe that the buck stops here with us. We can make an enormous difference to a child's development with the T.V. phones and everything else electronic turned off. We can read to them, help them with puzzles, develop their imagination in play and role play. We can prepare them to be ready for school and have the confidence in themselves to thrive. My grand-daughter is not yet 3 and has she got imagination, she is now beginning to make up her own little stories. "Turn off electronics, turn on imagination,"

Perhaps some parents talk to their kids and some don't. Children were ignored before mobile phones. I am uncomfortable knocking young mums and indulging too much in " rose coloured glasses". P.S. I was a wonderful mother if I remember rightly.

Coming over from Mumsnet after this thread has been mentioned there. I find it awfully sad that Mothers feel they have to attack each others parenting styles in this way. I wonder if it makes older Mothers feel better about their own parenting to put down younger Mothers. We are all trying our best. You don't know if that Mother with the phone is texting her husband about something important, arranging a doctor's appointment for her child or booking in a household appointment. All of which can be done via smartphones. I don't agree with always being on the phone when you are looking after children but I think you need to judge each individual circumstance. I can't help but feel that older generations look through their past with rose tinted glasses too. It used to be the norm to smoke in pregnancy, let your child go off playing for the day and not come back till hours later, to take them into pubs whilst parents socialised, to not have car seats, to think it's ok to take a belt to a child to smack them and teach them a lesson. These things thankfully are outdated as we know better now. Some of those are also far worse than a mum catching up on her phone for a few minutes. Please older generation stop judging and think, you don't know the circumstances. Being a parent is also hard enough without being constantly judged.

I didn't think any of those were the norm or OK - except for the car seats which had not been invented when mine were young. When they did appear I thought they were great.

If these young women really are making those important phone calls, then no blame on them - but it is odd that one call seems to take up an entire bus journey and involve detailed discussions of subjects I wouldn't have thought were of interest to their doctor, their pluimber or their husband.

I do agree with all the above but I also remember how isolating it was to be a young mum in a new part of town not knowing anyone and longing for someone anyone to call. ( pre mobile days) I'm also very very guilty of using the tv as a baby sitter at the moment as I have two DGCs with me and I let them watch tv while I have my bath in the morning and while each child is having a bath after their tea.

I must add that the stuff they watch is dreadful.has anyone else seen my little pony cartoons? Didnt intend to derail thread.

I'm with Lully and Younger. Of course some of the points made here are valid but I'm very uncomfortable with grandmothers judging and condemning young mothers as a whole, as here, as if their (our) generation were perfect parents. This sort of backward looking with rose tinted glasses is one of the less attractive features of some GN threads. ((I also find there are some very old- fashioned attitudes to gender equality here - eg, the thread where many saw it as the 'job' of the man to buy expensive jewellery, which shocked me - but that's another discussion).

I spent several hours out today with my daughter and her friend PokemonGoing, run into lots of parents along the way doing the same thing.