This will cause a hoo ha !

No one has answered my question though about how so many of us succeed in parenting our children without any resort to hitting, slapping, or cuffing whatever you like to call it?
perhaps no-one succeeded?

I was never ever smacked when I was a child - although I was once when I was a very cheeky teenager!
When I told a friend I was never ever smacked he said 'And it shows' in a rather derogatory fashion

There isn't a single right way to do things, ww. The world isn't black and white. It's not as simple an issue as you seem to be arguing. Methods very similar to yours but with slight differences that you choose to call violence have worked as well and, most importantly, no harm done.

I never smacked my DS (18 now) well tell a lie, I smacked him once and pushed him off the bed once when very angry but quickly realised I couldn't "control" smack so stopped it. A tap as a reprimand doesn't make anyone abusive for god sake.

I also believe in a nip and explanation if your child pinches, same goes for biting. Call the police now )

Perhaps your children were always very reasonable and listened to reason, ww!

We have been looking after our two GS's for a week 6 & 2, absolutely mentally and physically drained. It has been WW3 every day. Looking forward to going home and some peace tomorrow.

No we don't smack children any more.

But as a child if I did wrong, my father had a leather belt which he wielded and at school we were caned. I don't feel that this caused my any problems in later life and would not wish to go back and change anything.

My next door neighbour used to hit her girls with a wooden spoon which rather shocked me because she was a very anti violence christian. I think she felt that it was "Only a spoon" whereas I felt that once you use any sort of implement you can't tell how hard you're hitting.

Hmm! GT sounds like you deserve a holiday.

My children were the same as everyone else's children. Reason did not always work in which case my word was law - no question. As my DD says if you can convince me in 5 minutes fine if not hard luck - that's as they've got older. To be fair she will concede the point if their argument is good enough.

I'm astonished that anyone would think a 14mo baby is 'badly behaved'. I've had four children and now have three GC and have never considered a 14mo as 'badly behaved'. Yes, they do things you'd prefer they didn't, but they're exploring the world because it's fun and exciting. If they're doing something you don't want them to, then divert their attention. Saying No to them is exactly the reaction they want and of course they'll repeat the behaviour if it provokes a funny response from you.

Hitting children, whether you call it a clout or a tap or not, isn't the answer. I admit I occasionally smacked my eldest, because I didn't know any better in those days, (and I'm not proud of it) but not my youngest because by then I knew there were better ways to discipline children than by hitting.

It's not a great example to set children, and I wonder what the reaction would be if a child who had been hit then went to nursery and hit or bit another child because they were doing something perceived as naughty.

Hello sue phew! I thought I was ploughing a lonely furrow

I wouldn't call a smack "hitting children". There seems to be a touch of the moral highground going on in this discussion.

For me a quick smack is kinder than the naughty step, removal of privileges or reasoning with them etc. None of the children in my family have suffered from a smack, and none of them need one now. All it takes is a "look" over glasses perched on the end of the nose.

We might be an old fashioned family but all the children know how to behave which is more than I can say for some whose parents "reason" with their badly behaved little snowflakes and get ignored.

However, I would not dictate or suggest to anyone who disapproves of a smack as being wrong. They have their way, and we have ours.

Hypothetical situation.

You are in the kitchen making something delicious. Your DH comes in, reaches over and swipes/nicks/helps himself to a strawberry/bit of smoked salmon/ whatever, what do you instinctively do?

This is a genuine question, by the way, not some sort of trap, just interested in how you might react!

Please be honest!

My GC are pretty well-behaved despite never having been smacked.

Phoenix, I'd probably say something like 'Oi, gerroff, that's for dinner!' Or 'Well, that's your portion gone, isn't it?' and laugh.

My reaction would be the same as sues I simply never hit out at anything or anyone. It isn't necessary And it is wrong.
And it has nothing to do with the moral highground, it is simply that - wrong.

Wow! I distract my young grandchildren, suggest we play a game or go for a walk.

Yes, distracting them with some other activity is my answer. They subtly get the message that you're not happy with what they're doing but that you're not punishing them but giving them a chance to show how well they can behave.
I was occasionally smacked as a child at home but lived in fear at school as I would be belted for not learning something quickly enough. All that I learned was how uncaring some people are and how to be scared of my own shadow.
When I became a teacher myself I was even sadder to think that some of the adults who were meant to care for me, just didn't.
To this day I feel that smacking or any physical punishment achieves nothing.

My dgd (5) lives with me and for reasons I don't want to share, has some behaviour issues. A reward chart & positive reinforcement seems to work better than punishment. However there are some behaviours that cannot be ignored & naughty step & loss of privileges is needed. How about drawing up a list of house rules with the kids & adults that you all stick by?? Good luck ?

How would any of the advocates of smacking like to be smacked (read hit) for a misdemeanour?

Quoting whitewave:

"Advocating smacking is a rubbish argument. I never did nor has my daughter, neither did I shriek or shout. In my view if you resort to violence it is poor parenting."

God! I've been a rubbish parent. And gran.

Done the lot to mine in my time.

Add the odd swear word to that list.

Wonder why they still love me? genuinely

Ah! I know! They recognise the human being in me!

And then, of cours, there's the love....

e

phoenix My OH often helps himself to a piece of potato as it's sauteing in the frying pan. I don't need to say or do anything. I just wait for him to turn red and start flapping his hand. The subsequent blister does the rest. He never learns!!

Phoenix don't all DH's do that, mine certainly does, I usually laugh.

I was never slapped as a child and did not hit my five children. I would certainly NEVER consider smacking someone else's child grandchild ot no. My 3 year old DGD had the most amazing tantrum two days ago. I have never seen the like before. Snot, tears, dribble, trying to climb gate to go home. It was ......well it just was. Lost for words. I looked in exasperation at her 5 year old brother. He shrugged and said "Just let her to get over it grandma, mummy does. Or mummy sometimes goes upstairs with her because her screaming hurts my ears".