Anniversaries from a Past Life

I never look back, no good thinking of what might have been. What's gone is gone, History. Look to the future who knows what is in store?

I got divorced after almost 17 years of marriage and look on the years since with a sense of relief that I got out and what I and our 5 children have achieved since.

My twin brother died on 7th August 1970. On Sunday I'm going (at last) to the place where he died, near Staines.

The anniversary of my sons death September 3rd died 2007

My wedding anniversary from my first wedding (divorced, he's dead now) is one day before my youngest's birthday and his birthday was one day after mine so I always remember both. My second husband and my father shared a birthday (both now dead) so that's a date I never forget.

I can't read much of this - it is too, too sad. I have many of these dates, particularly one, which stay in my head - not in the diary or calendar but stuck there unwanted. June and September are months I would gladly sleep right through. You reach an age when the past is much much longer than the future and people and events swim around unbidden in the memory however much you try to keep them out.

2nd July is my fathers anniversary and those few weeks after that always make me sad, as he died suddenly on a cruise with my mum celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. My siblings and I were all away from home, and I had to be contacted by the local police station to where I was camping...... nightmare stuff. My poor mother had to be flown home from next cruise port and my dads body was kept on board till cruise finished 3 weeks later, for post mortem on land! 33 years ago but still find memories of that time difficult!

I don't do 'if only' but I do remember. I had a miscarriage in 1981 and that baby would have been born in April 1982. Their '21st birthday' fell on Easter Day and at the family meal we toasted our unknown and unborn member.
But if that baby had been born would DD2 be here? Probably not.