Constructive criticism?

It wasn't aimed at anyone, just a general feel of how threads tend to be going.

Margaret I have reported your comment:-

Be careful what you wish for Rubylady, it sounds threatening and I have no clue to what it is referring.

I really want you to understand my point Rubylady. This sort of thread makes everyone paranoid because no one knows who it is aimed at. Best really to make your view known on the thread at the time.

Time to leave this alone now, I seem to have the understanding of most people, but there are some who still seem to see a discussion as some form of permission to get personal. Like the last few posts are really and I do not wish to involve myself with these posters. Not my type of people in the real world and not on here neither.

I think we all agree with momb's post about offering help when help is asked for.

The opening post of this thread is not asking for help, it's asking if the poster is being unreasonable in expecting "no-one in particular" to be nice. The answer from some posters has been, no, you are not being unreasonable and from others yes, you are being unreasonable, not least because no-one knows "what in particular" provoked the question.

"Tearing into other people's points of view" is very good description of robust discussion. There are many instances in life when tearing into a point of view is exactly what needs to be done because the point of view is ridiculous or bad. Think of a really horrible point of view such as, say, torture by a country's police, and you'll understand what I'm saying. The "point of view" that torturing admissions of guilt out of people is allright needs to be torn into good and proper. Doing so is not tearing into a person, it is shredding a point of view.

Gransnet will not cover such extreme "points of view", thank goodness, but I'm using that example to illustrate the point. I will never stop arguing that attacking, tearing into, shredding, pulling to bits (whatever) a point of view or a belief is different from doing any of that to a person. A person and what a person thinks are separate, proved by the fact that people change their minds about even stongly held views.

So agree with merlot! (missed you m. Drafty round here without you)

Such threads come up every now and again because one of us thinks it is necessary to say so. What's wrong with that? Others (same ones usually) say it is unnecessary. Same old, same old..........................

mumof I totally agree with you. If a person asks for help and you don't feel able to give it don't post! There are so many situation on here that I have no experience of so don't contribute unless it is to show sympathy.

Exactly right. Criticise what they've said but don't be personal.

To succeed with constructive criticism is highly unlkely. That would mean that you are of the opinion they are wrong and they should accept your constructive critisism and take another point of view.
I can't see that happening.
Constructive criticism is helping the person to do something better how better to make a cake or finish some woodwork or sewing. Mental constructive criticism is ususlly in the hands of a psycholgist or a counsellor as you have to be very careful how you tread.

Be careful what you wish for Rubylady

On GN you just get another point of view, and a softly softly thread will die off very quickly.

Nothing makes me want to shout F**K OFF more than someone suggesting we should 'Play nicely' if things get a bit heated.

I haven't reached the ripe old age of 69 without developing a deep loathing of condescending comments.

I've been away so must have missed the thread that this thread is referring to or is it one of those 'Think I'll just stir things up' threads?

(that was in answer to j)

Those were the days - when we used to do one after breakfast, and that was it for the day. Sigh.

I agree. I think complaining about the rudeness of "no-one in particular" is stirring. There are procedures in place to complain about particular rudeness by particular posters if and when. Use them if you want to. Otherwise join in the discussion.

Fussing about what who said to whom is just "stirring"

I have always operated on the theory that if someone offends me or mine, I will address that as forcefully as I can, but what other people say to others is quite simply their business and so up to them.
What the original post outlined is very much in the spirit of Forum guidelines anyway and where those are breached, GNHQ reserves the right to delete a post or take stronger action.
Seems adequate.

Do one Jalima not have you done one. Made me laugh anyway. Off to work now, have a good day everyone.

It's no one in particular who has been rude to me or said anything they shouldn't and I am a big girl, my back is broad, I can take criticism, it's just that I think some posts on here are uncalled for and people could be kinder to each other.

It's not about the political threads because I don't go there anymore, it's threads in general. And if I had been upset by anyone, I would tell them, either on the thread or in a PM, I have never hid away nor not stood up for myself. It's not my style to not say something direct, so you can all relax, it's just an observation over the last few months.

All I think is that we are grannies, we should be able to chat and give opinions without being offensive to each other. As the quote in Toy Story "Now Play Nice", please?

Starting a thread like this is in itself contentious because, as jingle said, people immediately start wondering who the criticism is being aimed at.

If you think someone has been unfair, overly judgmental or rude on a thread, why not just say so straight away to the person in question?

I've never heard it before except:

"Have you done one?" used to be a question DM asked me every morning when I was young, before I went to school.
She was very keen on regular habits.

You THINK Pollengran .....

I think it's the middle finger of the right hand.. .

I'm half Northern (so they tell me)

Really proud of that!

Which finger Pollengran?

Yeah. Go on then. See how long it lasts before the red print message appears.

Why does "thread deleted" sound so ominous when printed in red, in 'threads I'm on'? Always a helluva shock.

I thought you had to use a finger signal at the same time as saying "do one" in a loud voice. It's beyond my level of rudeness though so I have never done it .