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(81 Posts)
midgey Thu 13-Oct-16 20:08:49

What is it with people passing? Surely they have that too blunt for the news these days.

foxie Fri 14-Oct-16 09:50:33

I believe in telling it like it is. Dead is dead not passed over or passed away or.........

Wobblybits Fri 14-Oct-16 10:06:10

"Dead" is too final, death is not final, we live on in our loved ones memories or in our works and deeds. I envy writers, artists etc where their work lives for ever. Einstein will never be forgotten, but then again neither will Crippen hmm

(guess my meds are still keeping me in the 70's mood)

maddyone Fri 14-Oct-16 10:32:14

When my father died earlier this year, I found myself saying 'I lost my Dad'. Strangely I found it too blunt to say died, I felt I had to be more 'polite' and have regard to the other person's feelings. Strange isn't it?

NonnaAnnie Fri 14-Oct-16 10:37:27

I saw on Facebook this week that someone's mother had "past away" sad but true in so many ways.

wendylou Fri 14-Oct-16 10:38:09

When I went to register my father's death, I was asked "when did he begin his journey?" This threw me: I thought "he's not going anywhere, he's dead. End of journey. Full stop." But I didn't say what I was thinking.

hulahoop Fri 14-Oct-16 10:39:14

When I had to inform people of loved one I always said passed away felt it wasn't as blunt as died

HannahLoisLuke Fri 14-Oct-16 10:39:37

When my ex husband lived and worked in Nigeria in the 80s they used to say of someone who had died "he has completed his assignment"
Describes it perfectly!

sted Fri 14-Oct-16 10:40:09

Going back to falling asleep thing - it absolutely terrified my niece when she was little after reading it on a gravestone. She comes from a plain speaking family, and it took a while for her to accept that some people used euphemisms, and didn't just wait for people they didn't like to drop off so they could bury them.

annodomini Fri 14-Oct-16 10:48:08

If my family say I have passed or passed on, I will come back and haunt them. wink

Jane10 Fri 14-Oct-16 10:56:34

I was once alarmed when a colleague told me sorrowfully that she'd 'buried her Dad yesterday'! I know its a fairly commonly used phrase but my immediate thought was 'how did he feel about that?'

midgey Fri 14-Oct-16 11:14:52

Totally agree that when people are talking to one another it is absolutely up to them how they describe the event, I was thinking about the media and the news announcements.

Jalima Fri 14-Oct-16 11:17:56

I have always heard the term 'passed away' but 'passed' is just an irritating Americanism.

Swanny Fri 14-Oct-16 11:27:12

I agree with using the terms others use when talking about their bereavement and normally use dead, death and died when talking about my family and friends. There has always been an exception though. If talking about my father I always say he was killed in a car accident, especially when I was a lot younger, as people always asked why or how if I only said he'd died. It told them what they wanted to know and was a lot easier than going through the details every time.


PamSJ1 Fri 14-Oct-16 11:27:26

It is just over 2 weeks since my husband died suddenly. I find it more difficult to say he has died when telling anyone. I know it doesn't change anything but at the moment I get less upset if I say passed away or lost.

Maimeo Fri 14-Oct-16 12:07:42

Very sorry for your loss, Pam. Still very early days for you?

Jalima Fri 14-Oct-16 12:09:49

PamSJ1 flowers
Perhaps we should not criticise the words that anyone uses really, if it helps them.

Nelliemaggs Fri 14-Oct-16 12:57:59

Oh Katek. That was so funny. I never even heard of Jeanne Robertson. My only worry is that her husband sounds a bit like me.....

Neversaydie Fri 14-Oct-16 13:08:38

Undertaker wanted to put 'passed away'in my brother's recent death notice .I overuled I'm afraid .Along with 'fond brother' which was altogether too lukewarm . 'fallen asleep'is worse
But then I hate it when people 'lost their battle against...'It suggests to me that they didn't fight hard enough.There are some illnesses no amount of 'fighting' can overcome, sadly

Reddevil3 Fri 14-Oct-16 13:10:13

When my husband died, I was in Spain and when you talk about it in Spanish, directly translated it is 'my husband died'. I have always used this term in English too.
But having returned to the uk, I now work in a hospice and they use the term 'passing'
I find the expression somewhat strange

Lizgabal Fri 14-Oct-16 14:04:23

A long time ago I had a baby that lived for 2 days. I remember someone asking me about the baby I had lost which my 3yr old daughter must have heard( she's 35 now). One night when I put her to bed she was a bit upset and i asked why. Her answer was "you know that baby you lost, you won't lose me will you? " I was speechless and had to explain. Euphemisms can be confusing to 3yr olds. I learned a lesson there.

grandMattie Fri 14-Oct-16 14:44:59

wobbly you will live for ever if you have children... your genes are within them and you should last eternally.... Look how they realised through genetics and mitochondria [she's becoming technical here grin] that they came from "one" person.

I too loathe the use of "passed" [not even passed away] and, unless the situation is not suitable, say something like "dropped off their perch" or "popped their clogs" just for the reaction!

Funnygran Fri 14-Oct-16 14:50:24

My grandfather died when I was in my early teens. After a few months my parents were invited to a service at the Salvation Army for people recently bereaved. They were very amused by the Captain who said that they never spoke about people dying but that they were 'promoted to glory'. My father always said he thought it was a much better way of announcing it. A friend's husband rang me to tell me that they had just buried his brother (he was actually cremated) so to me a very weird way of saying he had died!

ffinnochio Fri 14-Oct-16 15:13:47

PamSJ1 flowers.

Diddy1 Fri 14-Oct-16 15:16:38

Passed is an American word, ok I think passed away is ok, but what on earth is the matter with died, it will come to us all in the end. I am passing on this post to everyone!

thatbags Fri 14-Oct-16 15:36:57

’Pass’ is derived from a French (and possibly Latin) word; 'die' is from an Old English or germanic word

'excrement' from Latin; 'shit' from Old English

Copulate is from Latin; the origin of fuck is not known for certain but is possibly germanic

See where I'm going with this?

Anyone else heading off to join the Plain English Society with me?