Everyday sexism

Many have said what they do not like being called, so what would you like to be called, assuming the person does not know your name?

I am up north too, but I loathe being called Love by people in shops, ticket offices etc, and particularly by people who knock at my door trying to sell me things, especially if they happen to be in their twenties ! If I were buying a ticket as the OP was I would prefer to be called madam.

I once had a caller at the door, a Guy in his twenties, i would say.
He opened the conversation by saying " Hello Love", as he went into his blarney I said " Stop right there, I do not buy at the door, and if I did then you blew any chance you had as soon as you said " Hello Love". His face was a picture as I closed the door!

And again fwiw the drawing of a line between good natured fun and harassment is hugely problematic - who decides which side of the line a particular behaviour falls? Generally speaking the law has moved to how something is perceived by the receipient and not the author of the behaviour and that's how it should be I think

Is it that people are more easily offended or that standards as to what is considered offensive have changed - I think that these two are not quite the same thing. And is it better to not say people are offended but rather people find that unacceptable - again not quite the same thing. If I just keep to everyday sexism there have been huge improvements and whilst it still exists, it's much less than it was I think. And fwiw, I wouldn't want any son of mine to think it was acceptable to wolf whistle at a female of any age.

f77ms, I love being wolf whistled even more now! Unfortunately it's usually just by drivers approaching from the rear. DD2 bought me a trendy little suede backpack and this deceives the unwary. Two teenagers went racing past me the other day, one shouting "love your backpack" and the other "love your bum" - I bet they were mortified when they looked back at the front view!

I love being called madam, maybe it's because I spend a lot of time in France. I'm happy to be called love, but I really don't like dear or you guys.

f77ms yes, I wonder why people are so easily offended these days, we all seem to have become 'precious', whereas once upon a time we could take the rough with the smooth, and enjoy the banter that sometimes went on. Yes, I know, there are some areas where 'sexism' is rampant, many women suffer as a result of this, and we should be aware, but there must surely be a line we can draw and understand between good-natured fun and harassment.

Pet or flower up here. I hate "youse guys" which is what the waitress said in Cafe Rouge the other day. That gave me the shudders. Madam and sir would have been much better

I am very happy to be called love , it is a term of endearment . Would hate to be called Madam , up North we use that term to describe someone difficult or badly behaved ie "SHE IS A RIGHT LITTLE MADAM" . Life is too short to be so pedantic about the unimportant things . I also used to be wolf whistled and loved it ! I didn`t find it sexist , just a bit of fun . Why is everyone so easily offended these days ?

Life is too short to be concerned about whether I am called 'love' 'deary 'pet' by people who are not important to me.

Checkout operators. Not the silly o'l bugger, but "love" etc or if up north"pet" etc. Along with a nice smile, I am very happy.

Went into next last week, this rather attractive mature lady gave me a big smile as we went in, cheered me up for the day. A smile does it for me.

By a shop assistant, Wobblybits?

I would point out that it is not just women that get called things like darling, love , etc. Happens to me almost every day when shopping etc. so I can assure you this is not a sexist thing, it's just the way many people greet others. For me it is no problem whatsoever, I would rather be called "darling" that "miserable o'l git" or as I was last night "decrepit o'l bugger"

I don't particularly care what I am called, though I dislike it when people keep using my name in every sentence. I feel like saying "don't say my name."

The only name I dislike is hun or honey which young women use a lot nowadays. I don't know why, but it grates on me and I feel like saying "I'm not your hun".

Yes indeed LumpySpacedPrincess. It's been two steps forward, three steps back for ever it seems. When someone like the Donald can run for President, we're in deep doooda.

The intent is the thing. When a man calls you love in a dismissive arrogant way that's not on, if they call everyone love that's not a problem.

It's like catcalling, I've been catcalled hundreds of times in my life "give us a smile," whistled at, the list goes on. That's horrible sexist shite that puts a woman in her place and reminds them that their job is to please men. These men never cat call other males.

It's all about context, op I agree the first instance was sexist the second wasn't.

More people need to challenge sexism, I am sick of it and I want more for my daughter.

Jayh I am with you on the whole " Ma'am" thing. I like it.

I don't mind being called Madam , around here love, hun etc are commonplace and not usually done in a sneering way.

Life's too short for me to fret about this really :-)

In our area "love" is used by almost everyone, towards almost everyone. I was shocked to be called "sweetheart" by a staff member at our local hospital, it made me feel very very old. I decided not to be offended because it was well meant.

I like the way the American's use Sir and Ma'am. It's polite and friendly. I like Madame as used in France. I would like a similar term for women here but it ain't going to happen I don't suppose.

DH and I get called pet when we go supermarket shopping, I don't mind it happens all the time up north

Wheniwasyourage, like wise, whilst I read your post, you should not read more into mine that I said. I made a statement that IF it was friendly I didn't care, I made no mention of my opinion on an unfriendly greeting.
So take your own advice and read the posts. If you want to start an argument, I am not your man, end of this thread for me.

My hairdresser calls me Madame with the emphasis on the second syllable when he is asking me what I want. When we are gossiping he uses my name. I rarely feel insulted by dear or love but in my young day I was miffed the first time a delivery lad called me a wifie.
I like being called ma'am by young American people. I find it respectful whether I deserve to be respected or not.
I would have rebuked the customer services man for being arrogant and not giving me the information I wanted, rather than for calling me love, in the hope that he would get it right next time.

My daughter lives in Leigh on sea, Essex, where there are quite a few The only way is Essex lookalikes. Their favourite greeting is Hun or babe. Grrrrr.

I don't have a problem with any of the names mentioned so far not so keen on Madam feels a bit elderly but the one that gets me is other unknown women calling me babes or Hun I never would say anything but it feels a bit like the nail on the black board to my ears

We used to have a checkout man at our local Netto (before it closed down) who addressed all women as 'my lovely'.

Lovely!